Trump’s birthday parade may be cancelled over thunderstorms

I'm sure it may also be due to a lack of anyone joining and the huge protests on horizon. I wonder how pissed the military would be if he does cancel.

They don't want to work on the weekend any more than you do.
- Precious few units will be given leave if it's canceled. They'll find something stupid for them to do.
The No Kings protest map is pretty blackened out with dots, they must have told him. Republicans aren't showing either. It will be a sad, sad North Korean parade in the rain.
- Every military parade is a sad display of nonsense, the fact that anyone would think it’s a good idea is like thinking hitler had some innovative ideas about facial hair. dumb.
- Where do you see that red Republicans aren't showing up?
  Maga is a cult now. You have a source?
Oh... any foot troops will be fucking thrilled! Trust me
Did they end up cancelling it?

Where are the lasers to control the weather that Biden refused to use to save Florida?

I think democrats control the weather but wildfires are caused by Jewish space lasers? Something like that. I dunno.
They were recently outlawed

"Cancelled" would be great! The ultimate Fuck You from whatever God(s) exist.

But, does anyone truly believe Little Donnie Mangolini will let it go that easily??? Something he's yearned for since Season 1??

Methinks "rescheduled" is a more likely outcome. 🤷‍♂️

Don't even think that. He'd expose people to lightning before cancelling
- I don’t know. He refused to go to D-Day 50th anniversary memorial ceremony because it was raining and he didn’t want to get wet. I guess it wasn’t his ego on the line, then, and I’m sure the Secret Service is insisting on a covered viewing area, anyway, after the near-miss in Buttler, PA.
- Fair point... 🤷‍♂️ 🤦‍♀️
- Especially after the whole TACO thing, his ego has got to be running overdrive right now
I'm split. On one hand, thunderstorms in DC in the summer are so obvious and predictable that anyone doing any kind of organizing for an outdoor event would have considered them months in advance and would have contingencies. So "cancelled due to thunderstorms" is obviously a cover for "we're getting too much pushbacka and don't want to embarrass ourselves."
Otoh, not realizing that there is a thunderstorm pretty much every single day in DC in the summer is exactly the level of competence I expect from the Trump admin.
I’d hope protests would shut it down in case the Gods do nothing.
Methinks "rescheduled" is a more likely outcome.
Trump's flunkies had 4 years to write Project 2025, so of course that shit has been implemented at frightening precision.
But they're incredibly bad at doing anything on short notice. Expect Four Seasons level brainfarts if they need to improvise a solution yet again.
Knowing trump they'll make up some fake "security threat" thing to reschedule as opposed to "literally whatever God(s) you believe in don't want this to happen"
- Like the fake security threat happening in my state that conveniently made everyone forget about Elon rambling about Epstein?
They will weave an historically large American flag to cover the entire event.

I will be placing Mother Nature under arrest for raining on my parade! 🫲🍊🫱

^🫲🍊^🫱
FTFY
Who voted for Mother Nature anyway? By executive order, the weather is now under Scott Pruitt's control.
He sure as hell wants to rape her already.
He can just revise a weather map with a Sharpie.
- Can't he just nuke the thunderstorm?

Sure would be nice if the media would stop just repeating his bullshit at face value.

"celebrating 250 years of the U.S. military.." Fuck off. Trump doesn't give a shit about the military. He wants a show for himself on his birthday. They should make that perfectly clear each and every time instead of just repeating whatever inane bullshit hillbilly barbie says at the podium.

Sing it with me folks!
To be fair, the headline of this article did literally call it a birthday parade.
- And then immediately afterwards frame it as the United States 250th birthday. Shenanigans.

He's just afraid, guys. And chickening out, as usual. Pass the word

T.A.C.O. Trump
- Trump Always Chickens Out Trump

The fact that the military's birthday keeps getting called 'Trump's birthday' shows how far we are sliding into fascism.

Coincidentally, it is both his birthday and the US army’s “birthday.” Both arrived on June 14th, one in 1775 and the other in 1946.
The fact that ya’ll care at all is fucking weird, dude.
Edit: since apparently I wasn’t clear, I’m saying that celebrating your military’s birthday is fucking weird. Ya’ll went places with this one and none of them were remotely close.
- The fact that yall don't care how bad Donald Diddy is is fuckin weird
- You do know this shit is far from fucking normal, right?
- It just tells me that they're educated on national history. Educated enough to call bullshit when they see it.
  What are you on about?

First thought: I hope it gets canceled

Second thought: go ahead and do it, and let Trump wave a flag on top of the biggest float

He's the guy who looked directly at the eclipse, so yeah, he'd probably do that, too.

TACO of his own parade

If he was nicer, the Democrats could use their weather machine to give him nice weather on his birthday, but he's been a big meanie lately, so it's rain for HitlerPig's birthday.

Maybe he ahould ask Bibi if he can have those Jewish Space Lasers burn away the mean thunder clouds.
Praise the chemtrails!

Yeah right. Probably cancelling it because he doesn't want people to show up and ruin his dick-tator moment by protesting.

Then again Diaper Don doesn't like rain cleaning off his nasty orange makeup and getting in his rats nest.

I wouldn't be surprised if he's more afraid of an embarassingly small crowd more than protestors.
- The crowd is going to be huge, it just isn't going to be supportive.
That is exactly it, he is visualizing all the protestors lined up along the route.
- There's a good chance that there will be more protesters than supporters. That would be beautiful.
- It's a scenario that could lead to absolute disaster(for them, it would be great for us)
  National Guard, Protesters, Police, with the chance that the NG lays their arms down or side with the protesters?
  They're shitting themselves nervous over it.
I believe he hasn't showered in years; he's cleaned with baby wipes by slaves, hence everyone saying he's so smelly.
- He's smelly because of having a Depends full of liquid shit at all times.
Honestly, probably worried about a bunch of armed people being there possibly to exercise their oath.

Perhaps he could order Immigration and Customs Enforcement to deport the weather.

fire everyone at NOAA
- Didn't that already happen?
- Why bother when he can just sharpie it into better weather?

So the message is our military can't perform in th3 rain. Is USPS the last great government force?

To be fair they stated they didn't want to have an audience out in lightning.
Whatever the case, calling off such festivities is what I'd like to happen anyway. His stupid birthday parade not happening would be a good outcome.
- In his mind he's probably worried that the low turnout would be bad press for him.
  You know, rather than concern for the safety of the attendees.
- Especially since the nationwide and global protests are going to continue regardless
- Bets on Donnie forcing it to go ahead anyway?
Well, the last few wars have been in deserts

Hey, evangelicals, remember how when anything bad happened, it was because God was sad that we weren't murdering gay people? So does this mean that God hates Trump?

Yes. Why do you think Pestilence was sent during the first term?
- I don't remember RFK Jr from last time
Lol imagine still thinking they give a shit about their obvious hypocrisy
If that's the case, I'm still hoping for clear skies with a well-placed lightning bolt

Ok religious people. What other signs does God need to send?

A rainbow appearing in the sky over Dublin on the day that Ireland voted to legalize same-sex marriage? A tornado destroying the house of Rep. Joe Harding, who authored the infamous "Don't Say Gay" bill in Florida?
I don't know how much clearer He can get!
Plague of locusts? Blood raining down? Him literally getting struck by lightening?
I would like the later. It would be hilarious.
The mistake you are making is assuming religious people are capable of logic, reasoning, or changing their minds. God himself could appear and tell them they are wrong and they wouldn’t believe it, because their existing beliefs are a forgone conclusion. They did not arrive at them by reason or logic and they will not be moved by reason or logic.

Lol fucking loser

Bday parade??? This is exactly the type of ego bs that dictators do. Have a quiet night in with the family you never see you psycho

Nah. Hold it anyway. Maybe we'll get lucky and the clown prince will catch all his karma at once in the form of a lightning bolt.

Yes, but at the cost of long range visibility and wind, which I guess would only be a problem in certain specific circumstances.
- We live in the future.
  For 3 grand you can buy a smart scope that does all the trig for you. You tell it where you want to hit. Plug in the weight, barrel length, powder charge, etc. It does the math and gives you a firing solution.
Especially if we get him to fly the ceremonial kite.

I'm in favor of sticking him out there and seeing if Zeus is ready to smite him yet.

Aww, did he lose his magic sharpie?

Thoughts and prayers

Your “god” is shaming you.

isn't he friends with Zuckerberg? Do it in the Metaverse.

God is angry. Trump fears being struck by lightning.

Smite! Smite! Smite! Smite!

Maybe this is misguided, but in some ways I was looking forward to seeing whatever actions had been planned in DC that day. I guess we'll see what happens. Regardless, Asheville is coming out strong for a No Kings rally.

But don't worry, they've already spent tens of millions of dollars just to get to this point before cancelling.

Can't let his comb over go more wild in the rain. Remember, he doesn't even show up for veteran's memorial service in the rain because rain and dying for your country is for losers. What he said anyway. $48 million was spent just getting all that gear there. Could have fed starving American children by funding the program that was canceled but who needs to do that right? OH WELL! ¯(ツ)_/¯ (/s)

Trump and Co don't even think about feeding soldiers, let alone poor children.

Get a water balloon and fill it with skunk musk ... basically skunk feces or the anal glands of a dead skunk

let it sit in the sun for an afternoon before you use it.

throw it anywhere near the parade route

the stink will last for days

I like the way you think but am horrified by your potential skunk-harvesting techniques.
- In northern Ontario, on average I'll notice at least four or five skunks a summer that have been hit on the highway. It's not on purpose, it's usually accidental, especially at night. When someone hits a fox or raccoon, no one ever notices ... but if they hit a skunk, it will stink up that section of highway for about a week and everyone will notice.
What's the skunk to water balloon ratio for this operation?
My cat recently got skunked in her dumb face. I promise a fresh skunk is way fucking worse than one not fresh.
- Yes, it is. It's so overwhelming, you can basically taste it in the air (source: had a dog growing up that got in a fight with a skunk at like 3am)
umm, yeah, I'm not sure where you get your dead skunks or where you get your ability to tolerate being near them or touching them... but that's fucking gross and weird.
- For all we know they work in roadkill clearing, or some other form of animal controll esque job that puts you in contact with dead animals.
- Like the other commenter said ... it's road kill. I live in northern Ontario in Canada and all our highways go through a lot of wilderness so we see a lot of animals. When someone accidentally hits a squirrel, fox, raccoon, beaver, porcupine, you see the dead animal but it usually taken aside and forgotten .... people seldom see it because it happens quickly and its forgotten.
  But when someone hits a skunk .. it will stink up that section of highway for a week and everyone notices.

Because what, the weather would pose a threat to the wellbeing of the soldiers?

Trump doesn't care about that.

It's more about his hair and makeup.

Can lightning disable a tank? I don't want the crews to get hurt but four or five M1 Abrams stuck in the middle of Constitution Ave would make for some fucking GREAT b-roll for the nightly news.

I'm more interested in whether it'll disable a particular president. See the secret service try to prevent that act of god
- Give him a really tall metal chair to watch it from.
Maybe? I kind of doubt it, though. These things are freaking built like tanks, after all.
How many people would be trying to recreate the famous tank man image from tienneman square? 🤔
- Still US soldiers and I'm still a US citizen.

Can't he just sharpie away the thunderstorm?

Maybe he can nuke it.

Every soldier should be given a sick chit for bonespurs that day.

Cancel his parade and force the withdrawal of troops from LA? But that'll make Trump sad.

We can only hope. Let's dust off that old HAARP and see if we can make it happen! /s

Awwwwwww.

This is the inauguration all over again. This idiot thinks he has massive support from the people for his garish displays, until it gets close to time that will reveal how broadly hated he actually is, then either he or his team change things up to protect his fragile ego.