Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart, whose ministry was toppled by prostitution scandals, dies at 90
Televangelist Jimmy Swaggart, whose ministry was toppled by prostitution scandals, dies at 90
The scumbag lived far longer than he should have.
Thats what burns my ass. Why do these pieces of shit never die young?!
Hate and scorn sustains them.
There is no God
They're highly motivated. Because they believe in a wrathful god they know whatever is waiting for them on the other side is going to be unpleasant
Apparently, ~91yrs too long, in fact.
"if you gave Jerry Falwell Jimmy Swaggart an enema you could bury him in a matchbox." - Christopher Hitchens (would have said RIP)
Had to chew on this to figure it out.
Enemas inject things, so why would it make someone smaller?
Enemas are used to clear stools. Constipation relief.
Ahh. I get it now.
Don't feel bad, it was a very subtle jab. The best part was it was at the end of a Fox News interview as they cut away, so it was what I liked to call a sarcasm grenade. Pull the pin, let it sit for a minute. Boom.
A classic. 🥰
Prostitution shouldn’t be a scandal. But also, all televangelists deserve to die.
Hypocrisy was the real scandal. Not so much the prostitution. I'm certain there was a ton of anti-sex work judgement to go along with that. But otherwise I fully agree.
It’s the hypocrisy. SW should be legal/decriminalized, but this motherfucker would have preached against fornication while getting a BJ under the pulpit if he thought he’d get away with it.
Took far too long. He got ~70 years more than he should have.
Finally, some good news.
Hell gained another demon today
No we don't want them
The earth was force-fed another pile of garbage today
What else did everyone else have for dinner today?
I had meatballs, frozen peas, and potato salad.
A egg tortilla burrito.
Is this a yahoo comments thing? Since I usually see chuds doing the whole what they ate today thing on yahoo news comments
Usually on news stories with zoomer era celebrities that they have no idea who they are
Just a protein bar. My wife got home a day early from her week long hospital stay so the whole evening was a bit of scrambling.
"Oh well 😀"
Imagine being so shitty that people consider it good news when they hear of your death. I should hope to at least aim for a neutral reaction, or better...
"Encounters" is such a funny way to phrase it. Like he was traveling through the woods on a quest and had to roll on the random table upon which a pack of wolves was also an option.
C'mon epic battle... Epic battle please... DAMNIT! Sex workers AGAIN!
Swaggart "Can I roll to convince the sex workers to leave me alone?"
GM "Sure."
Swaggart rolls a nat 20
Swaggart "Oh no, it looks like I rolled a nat 1. Looks like I have to sleep with the sex workers, again."
Jimmy: “boy heaven sure is hot!” “And why am I in a hot tub of lava next to hitler and Regan?”
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
Snorting meth off a gay hooker's butt forever in the afterlife
Wasn't soon enough. Rot in hell.
Contributors built Jimmy Swaggart Ministries into a business that made an estimated $142 million in 1986...
... Swaggart said publicly that his earnings were hurt in 1987 by the sex scandal.
Mawww.
Who?
Rest in piss
🎵 Only the good die young! 🎶🎷
Good riddance
90 years of doing Satan's work, he can go back home where he belongs now.
Don't blame this on Satan.
Jimmy converted to Islam at the last second. He wanted to be surrounded by 72 virgin prostitutes.
The only one who could ever reach me
Was the son of a preacher man
The only boy who could ever teach me
Was the son of a preacher man
Yes, he was, he was
Ooh, yes, he was
How’s the temperature down there, Jimbo?
Amen!
He gave his name to the sin of swaggarcy, of diverting church funds to pay for sex.
Christopher Hitchens on the death of Jerry Falwell
I love at the end: "If you gave him an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox." I think of that every time I hear of another one of these evil fucking dominionists dying.
“They say you should only speak good of the dead. He’s dead. Good.”