Blessica Blimpson

Ok.....forget Jessica Simpson. Let's Thanos snap her out of existence, and then Men in Black laserpen flashy thing everyone on earth to forget she ever existed. Everybody on the same page then? Ok, cool. Let's continue.

Ok.....

The name Blessica sucks.

Yeah I think the moral of this story is not to knock-up someone who likes the name Blessica.
- Or whose last name is Blimpson.
- someone who likes the name Blessica
  I picture this as someone who goes to church a lot, reads romance novels, bakes awesome cookies, and says things like "sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays!"
- “Don’t stick your d*ck in crazy”
Yes. But also: Blessica Blimpson.
She just took the name Jessica and fumbled at the beginning.
- I think you mean the bleginning
- I think the idea is that it begins with "Bless". It's not a good idea at all, but pretty sure that's what it is.
I think It worked, I have no idea who Jessica Simpson is, is it Homer Simpson's sister or something?

It's a child not a vanity plate

Ohhhh, no no honey these are straight people, their GOD GIVEN sexuality must be DISPLAYED ALWAYS
- What?
- Yo straight people are the ones having waaay more kids and they're still naming plenty of them with non-stupid names. Let's focus the hate where it belongs: people who try to create personalities for themselves by using their child as a proxy for their unfulfilled hopes and dreams.
- I mean, I guess the straights get pretty weird sometimes, but I'm not really seeing the connection.

Parenting is for the good of the kids, not the wants of the parents.

Winner winner chicken dinner.
Projecting your views onto your kid only ends up with them resenting you and you feeling like they can't meet expectations.
Some things are non-negotiable: my kids aren't allowed to be disrespectful shit-bagels, but other than that they get to decide who they want to be. I am fortunate enough to get to discover that with them.

I refuse to believe this isn't a shitpost

Edit: I need to start reading the communities stuff gets posted in

The original community was namenerds and digging through the original poster's submission history I'm seeing some pretty bad poetry, 90 day fiance content and grieving the death of their parents: all spread out across the past year.
... I don't think it's a shit post.
- Nah there's no record of 'Blimpson' being a surname, I call bullshit. But your investigate efforts are appreciated.
Hold strong to your beliefs.

Blessica Blimpson picks up the rice in the church where a wedding has been

Lives in a dream

Ahhhhhh....look at all the blonely bleople...
- Where DO they all blome from?
- Sir Oscar Meyer
  Wipes the Soylent from his hands as the sandwich was made
  NO ONE WAS SAVED
*has bleen

She won't get made fun of for sounding like Jessica Simpson...none will care, they'll be too busy making fun of "Blessica"

And Blimpson. God help any of these.kids if they're overweight

thanks to my husband

It's all my husband's fault that I want to curse my child with a shitty name. How they go through life doesn't matter to me. They're my creation, and what I want is all that matters.

What the actual fuck. Just name your kid Paisley if you don't care about their experience after they leave your body. Whether kids know who Jessica Simpson is or not, you're giving your kid a stupid name. They will correctly hate you for it.

Paisley Blimpson sounds like a cool name.
- Well goddamn, you're right. I'm amazed.
This is why I will be taking my wife's name

I found the OP and their post got deleted, but the only comments she responded to were the supportive ones (maybe 1 or 2 out of dozens of "wtf is wrong with you" reactions).

The poster has a history dating back 2 years so I don't think it's a troll, or if it is it's convincing. I just can't believe anyone would actually want to name their kid fucking Blessica. Absolutely revolting name.

I agree about the name being horrible, but parents are going with more and more, let's just say 'unusual' names, spellings and pronunciations these days. I've got a Grandson named Charon. Socially, it hasn't really been a bonus for him.
- I’ve got a Grandson named Charon
  Isn't that something from greek mythology? I swear there's something like that in greek mythology...
Eh, the kid could have worse, and it seems pretty fitting for the name's origins.
If you think of children as blessings, and want to change an existing name a little -- in this case, Jessica -- it makes sense. The first recorded instance of Jessica is from Shakespeare, who could've changed the biblical Iesca (Jeska) to Jessica by mixing Jesse into it (or making Jesse into a woman's name... or other potential origins like the word jess being turned into a name.) And you consider Bless to be a name (though rather unpopular), so it wouldn't even be particularly odd for the name.
- The kid could've been named "Anna" which also means blessing. She wanted to call her blessica because she was blessed to have her. Which yeah - just go with Anna
- Anyways then you and your entire family and social group die in the same event, like a volcano burying your village.

The kid needs a middle name:

Blessica Blaykelyn Bimpson

For some reason I read this in daffy ducks voice, and it fit perfectly.

No fucking way. This is rage bait. Even if this dogshit name was truly her most cherished wish, there's no chance you willingly take someone's name and then go on and complain about your actions.

Fake.

yup, I'll take "Things that didn't happen" for $500, Alex.

Yeah blimpson isnt the most advantageous name...

Why not Blumpkin

Blumpkin Blimpson is an amazing name
- Sounds like one of Santa's elves.
- I might actual get mines legally changed.
  Damn. Beautiful!
Why not just good old Blorny

That poor child will be bullied so hard. Its not like Jessica Simpson evaporated into fkin smoke. Lost to the ashes of time. The internet exists.

Jessica Simpson doesn't even need to exist. Blessica is a stupid enough name on its own. Added to the fact that their last name has the word "blimp" in it and that kid is looking at a life of being made fun of.
- Honestly there's no way that kid doesn't get made fun of at least some purely for their last name. Add the first name of blessica and that kid is going to resent the hell out of her parents growing up.
I think that kid (probably fictitious) would get bullied regardless, Blimpson is an extremely unfortunate last name. To the best of my memory, Jessica Simpson was never that cringe, it's less of a problem... or it would be if Blessica wasn't an awful name.
- Yeah she was kind of known as not being very smart but otherwise she's been relatively un-scandalous afaik.
Do you mean the blinternet?
Who tf is this Jessica Simpson?
- Ask your parents.

Wow, what a blursed name.

A perfectly cromulent name.

Blisa

Maybe the Simpsons will still be on air...

Blarge
- Blaggie
They'll probably convert The Simpsons to be entirely AI-generated soon so that it can stay on the air forever. The quality will probably go up, too.

What a Tragedieh

Blagedieh

I don’t think Jessica Simpson is the concern here. A judge would definitely grant the petition for someone to change their name if they were named “Blessica Blimpson”. What a derp name.

Popular media is the worst place to find a name for your kid. Remember all the parents who named their daughters "Danerys," before she went insane in Season 8 and burned an entire city full of innocent people alive? I wonder how they feel about that choice now. That poor kid is doomed. You might as well give her a stripper name