What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

Uncut, center out from the bottom.

Or

Roll into a cone, bite out the center from the bottom, suck the toppings and sauce through the bottom like a waffle cone, discard the crust.

Dammit. Now I gotta do this to fuck with my kid
- It's good to build distrust and topics of discussion for therapy as early as possible.
Nah, roll it into a cone with the topings on the outside and try to suck the crust though the topings.
- Please do that in the line to vote, so people feel more confident in how competent the electorate is.

Came here to post this. He had to have been trolling.
- That was pizza hut's ad campaign for stuffed crust pizza.
- The dude is weird and out of touch. I believe everything he does and says is performed without any forethought.

This awful video I saw where someone put pizza in a blender and turned it into a casserole

What about that but as a sausage?
- Here we go!
I refuse to believe that was anything other than rage bait, like every Chef Club video.
- Sure, probably. Still qualifies though, right?

By licking off the topping and sauce. The base gets reused for new pizza.

Blocked and reported for putting that disgusting image in my head! Ok jk but I think you win the thread

slapping your face into the middle of the pie and sucking like a dyson

sucking like a Dyson
What, immediately block up, stop working then lots of bits just randomly break off you?

Eat the crust, leave the rest.

Spiral sliced and slurped as one giant noodle.

i gotta try that

Turned into a slurry and then administered as an enema.

Pizza Slurry Enema
nice band name
- Or Jackass stunt

rolling it up starting from the crust like it was a croissant and then taking a bite, not from the end, but from the side

OR

not cut into slices, you tear out the center and slip your head through so it sits around your collar, then lift it to take bites periodically like a candy necklace

take a bit from the outer perimeter, rotate the zza slightly, then take another bite. repeat until you've spiral-noshed the whole thing

OP asked what's the most incorrect way to eat a pizza. That's the canonical method, authentic from Italy
- No - in Italy you eat pizza with a knife and fork.

With a spoon

Close second would be chopsticks.

Close second would be chopsticks.
My brother eats pizza with chopsticks
(For context: my family was all born in China)
- How does that even work?

Blending and drinking through a straw

tell me youve never tried pizza soup without telling me youve never tried pizza soup
- I've never tried pizza soup
  fuck, let me try again ...

You take it out of the oven, cut a slice as fast as you can and immediately bite down on it, holding it in your mouth until the cheese has completely fused with the roof of your mouth.

Gonna need somewhat of a custom pizza shape for this to work without arousing suspicion. Put the pizza between the toilet rim and the seat. If it sags a bit that's fine, the seat should hold it in place. Print out a picture of the inside of the toilet bowl and place it on top of the pizza. Close the lid.

After a few days, invite the crew over for beers. Rig the bathroom light so that it's very dim. "Sorry, been having issues with it, not sure what the problem is." Eventually someone is going to notice the ruse. When they do, "Oh shit, my pizza! I was wondering where that went." Bring it back into the kitchen and offer everyone a slice. They will refuse. "More for me then!" Eat the whole thing.

Instant legend.

What the fuck did I just read? You want to eat a piss soaked pizza?
- What is the worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza?

Chicago Deep Dish lmao gottem

Folded over so the cheese is on the outside then held with ham fists.

Better yet, Chicago style, but folded over so the sauce is on the outside and then eaten no hands like a pie contest

I can't stop laughing at ham fists. 😂

Chopsticks

ITT: there is evil in all of us.

Soak it in wine and boof it

In a blender

https://youtu.be/H4Hkx3Qa1vY

Fresh outta the freezer

Burnt to a charcoal crisp.

Eat it in reverse so it is expelled from the mouth after the journey though the body

Fold it in half (sauce outl, then eat it from the middle out

Or with a fork and knife

Almost like a calzone?
- Inverted calzone
Like a watermelon 💜
yeah fork and a knife...how dare to be civilized?!? murican go slurp this down with 1.5gallons of mountain dew and shower in gravey on your highway stop breakfast. disgusting pigs.

Upside down

When we used to order pizza in middle school, kids would fold the slices one on top of the other and eat them like a big sandwich. That was the most popular way to avoid questions about whether they would share it with others. Not to mention, most people snuck to the toilet for feasting.

Like regular pizza, but you use orange juice as a nice dipping sauce for it

Concentric slices.

One really long spiral slice.

Underwater

Inject it straight into a vein

I take two personal pizzas and cook them normally. I generally use the frozen ones from Costco and use one cheese and one pepperoni. I also have frozen hamburger patties from Kroger but they're the thin ones. I'm trying to lose weight, after all, so there's got to be sacrifices made. OK now I have those frozen rectangular hash browns like McDonald's sells, but mine are from Kroger again. I can generally cook all four items at once in my air fryer which is more of a convection toaster oven kind of deal. Anyway before I ramble on too long, I assemble a "hamburger" using the pizzas as buns and the rest is obvious. Apply mayo and/or American cheese or whatever like that Korean paste they use. Yum. I like to cut mine in half.

Those thin patties are great! This all started because I was tucking a folded one inside a Hot Pocket. You just split open one side and it becomes a literal hot pocket. Do not stick your ... oh never mind

I'm trying to lose weight, after all, so there's got to be sacrifices made.
How's that going for you?
How many does that feed?
- Appetizer for one, obviously.
Next on Epic Meal Time we eat yo fuckin momma.

My partner picks it up from underneath the slice and starts by eating the crust. To this day I'm still baffled by it.

The crust is a breadstick treat you get for finishing your slice
- Especially true with deep dish/pan crust pizzas.
  My wife rarely eats the crust on her pizza, which is fine by me since I'm happy to turn those pizza bones into free breadsticks.

Blend it

Wrap it in a tortilla

Heard me out. Was working a food trailer and the boss wrapped a slice in a tortilla, deep fried it and dressed it up like an enchilada. I thought he was being an idiot but it was actually really good.

Turn it into a curry.

Tikka marsala pizza sounds pretty damn good

My father uses a knife and fork to cut off the crust, eat in pieces, and then continues to use the knife and fork. It is so embarrassing whenever we're out.

maybe showing him this would help?
- This is exactly what I think whenever I see him doing it

...not eating it. And if you dislike pizza you get a vip seat in hell

There is no worst, most incorrect way to eat a pizza. The way someone eats something is irrelevant. There is no good or bad here.

You must have missed the person that said blended up and enema'd
- I like a good enema
The worst way to eat a pizza is to not eat a pizza. So uh, maybe taking many pizzas, making a bath out of them and expecting to take in the nutrients through your skin?
- That'd be the only answer I'd accept 😆
  Not eating the pizza is indeed incorrect when the goal is to eat the pizza.
Consider: floating in a bowl of milk like cereal. It's one big piece but you still have to use a spoon.

Baby-birded from Magic Johnson.

with pineapple

Bend over and I'll show you

infuse it into vegetable glycerine and vape it

Place the plastic table on your nose
Remove the crust and lick it like a rabbi at a circumcision
Roll pieces 1,3,5 from tip to girth and arrange them into an F shape
Roll pieces 2,4,6 from girth to tip and arrange them into a U shape.
Thank the pizza guy who is holding the box still, and then slam the door in his face.
Continue licking the crust you hid in your pocket, and then dial for another pizza

Bloody Mary garnish.

The question reminds me of a skit: https://youtu.be/v-lYREzDN6U

Putting pineapple on it

I fused Italian and Japanese cuisines 😁

In soup.

You throw it away, not eating it.

This reminds me of an article about how to pack your plastic shopping bags to avoid spoiling frozen and refredgerated items on the way back home. The article basically boiled down to: bring a cooling bag.
It's answering some question while completely disregarding the premise of the original question.

I seen my buddy roll and entire large pie and started to it eat from the center. I was disgusted and intrigued!

Fold it tip-to-crust with the sauce side facing out and then eat it from the middle-out.

Reading this comment made me simultaneously feel that there is no God and may God have mercy on your soul. Congratulating

Remove cheese and scrape off the remaining sauce. Roll what's left in the cheese. Feed it to your neighbor. By force if necessary. And yes. Throw away the crust. We are not animals.

Open the box. Leave it out for a week. Crumble it up once it's hard and stale. Put the bits in a bowl. Pour in some milk. Sprinkle some sugar and honey. You've made pizza cereal. Bonus points if you use chocolate milk.

What. The. Fuck.

Folding the slice in half.

You've got two fucking hands - give that fucker some structural support.

They asked for the worst way, not the best way
- Fold it in half end to end, not down the middle.
- A pizza shouldn’t require you to fold it in half to eat it. I didn’t ask for a sheet of paper with cheese on it.