Tesla Reportedly Has $800 Million Worth of Cybertrucks That Nobody Wants
Tesla Reportedly Has $800 Million Worth of Cybertrucks That Nobody Wants
cross-posted from: https://slrpnk.net/post/22132981
The photograph that says it all. Let's remember Elon Musk for the Nazi that he is.
This photo is taken out of context, though. I mean, he slapped his chest before the salute, and he did it twice in a row... Ah shit nevermind, he's a Nazi.
he doesnt look commited to it though, because hes doing the lip sucking thing that children do when they are unsure if they will get a bad reaction from it.
Gee, that's too bad. I do Nazi the problem.
They have a lot of problems ..... they're about this high .... raises right hand up on the air palm down
If nobody wants them, then they are worth $0.
You could definitely sell those for more than $0. The batteries alone aren't cheap.
So somewhere inbetween as the article says "more than 10,000 units" and "$800m" so they appear to be valuing them at ~$80k/unit which is ridiculously optimistic.
My guess is closer to 1/3rd of that value but nobody likes to lose half a billion in the blink of an eye
I was debating if I'd be willing to take a free cybertruck, your comment reminded me i could take it straight to the scrap yard
Jokes on you, I'd pay $1 for the lot.
Prepare to pay a $200m fine for littering.
They're worth something as scrap, I'm sure.
Next week: US Department of Defence announces purchase of fleet of Cybertrucks.
Can't wait to meet the successor to M1 Abrams: the M2 Sad Tin Can.
Already in the works:
State Dept. Plans $400 Million Purchase of Armored Tesla Cybertrucks
Can't wait to see how well it works to glue armored panels on.
If nobody wants them... they are not worth that amount. simple economics.
supply and demand...
I know i would get made fun of for this but a good price is a good price. I would pay $15,000 for one. I think most people would.
Edit 2 min later - I thought better of it. No i still wouldn't want it. I wouldn't trust Tesla not to hack it at some point and take it over.
You could rip the batteries out of them and use them for a solar setup. The rest could be sold for scrap.
I would pay $15,000 for one.
I would pay $15k for a better vehicle. I'm not getting in The Truck That Kills You Instantly.
I would totally take one for 15k (only if its used, never from tesla itself) take the batteries out, sell those and put the frame on a truck and drive it out to an event or protest and let people smash whats left. Let people rent a sledge hammer for a bit and vent, would be a fun and very public statement. Once thats done sell it as scrap. The batteries should alone should cover the next one.
$15000 is rookie numbers.
I can offer $150 for one!
yeah, for $15k USD I could buy an old Ranger or B3000 and have 5-10 years worth of fuel
cyber truck is a hard sell
This is exactly right. They're worthless if nobody is willing to pay what's being asked.
So what they're "worth" is nothing.
"$800m"… If nobody wants them, they're not worth anything.
If those 5 trucks had feelings they would be hurt
Certainly they mean MSRP.
But think of all the time that was spent to create them! /s
You know, by stock market logic, this would mean they aren't actually worth $800m
If the stock market had anythign to do with logic Tesla wouldn't be worth more than all other car manufacturers combined
Bag holders.
Stock market logic, sell one cybertruck for $1m and your whole inventory is now worth 10x
They're only worth what someone would be willing to pay for them. What's the scrap value on a cybertruck?
Simple economy actually. Supply exceeds demand, value on the market is lower.
On the stock market, you can do all kinds of fuckery to gain from this.
I am expecting them to end up as ICE technicals, used to hunt down dissidents like...checks notes...American citizens, children, and the elderly.
So your saying one will be able to avoid ICE by simply escaping on days when its raining?
Or, by running through sand or mud!
My pet conspiracy theory has been that Elmo was hoping Trump would mandate that everything gov related has to drive Teslas.
That's definitely plausible.
Finally some good news
Boom, tardigraded!
$800 Million Worth of Cybertrucks
Cybertrucks aren't worth the glass of the molotovs that ignite them.
Worth and cost are not synonyms.
It’s funny. They target people who burned the trucks, but insurance claims are probably their best chance to get paid for the trucks.
Until insurers decide they're too expensive to cover.
Light em up!
except the insurance might not even cover these, or they make the coverage cost extremely high.
Cybertrucks are just sitting around, waiting for someone to officially label them the DeLorean of the 21st century.
Hey! You take that back! DeLoreans were always cool cars. Their demise wasn't due to lack of popularity, the company just had problems getting established, and ultimately didn't survive its initial growth phase.
Nobody despised the DeLorean, or it's owner. They just ran out of money, and he tried a desperate Hail Mary play, that didn't work.
Their demise was absolutely due to lack of popularity. In December '81 they had produced 7,000 units and sold 3,000. I'd argue that they failed for the same reason Fiero did -- they looked like a sports car but were not. Top speed was 110mph. 0-60 time was 10.5 seconds. It had a V-6 that put out 130hp in a car with a curb wt of 2700 lbs. 0-60 time was measured at 10.5 seconds. To put that in perspective, about the same as a 99 Ford F-350 Super Duty Crew Cab 4x4 Dually or 73 LTD Brougham. There are virtually no modern cars that run 0-60 that slow. A 2024 5.3l Suburban has a time of 7.0
In addition, they had numerous quality control problems. This in a car that retailed for $25k or the rough equivalent of $86,000 in today's dollars. While it's probably true that nobody despised the car, it was not a good car. They were definitely cool sitting in a parking lot but getting spanked by a 1980 Chevy Citation (0-60 10.3) is not a good look
The cybertruck is on a different scale of unpopularity.
Nobody threw Molotov cocktails at Delorians. (Edit: or even DeLoreans)
Holy moly those specs are remarkably similar to my 1st generation Prius.
I'm not saying you are wrong in anything you state, and you make good points.
And yes you are probably right that the shortcomings compared to what was promised is the main reason sales didn't go as expected.
But I think you don't see it the same way as barneypiccolo you responded to.
Wasn't the DeLorean design pretty iconic from the beginning? The fact that there are still more than 2/3rds of the cars built on the road today 44 years later does speak volumes to its favor regarding popularity IMO. Those were not cars that were bought, found insufficient and then scrapped. But instead have been maintained despite DeLorean hasn't been around to supply spare parts.
Also the fact that the car had such a central role in the Movie Back to the Future, because it was simply such a cool car despite it's flaws, what other car could they have used for similar effect?
Imagine trying to do that with the Cybertruck! The Cinema would most like burst out in laughter from claiming doing anything with a Cybertruck would be to do it in "Style" as Emmet Brown expressed it regarding the DeLrean. It would clearly be seen as a fat joke on how stupid the car is and looks.
So no the car wasn't popular enough in sales for the number of cars DeLorean built, but it was never an unpopular atrocity like the Cybertruck is.
Edit PS:
they had produced 7,000 units and sold 3,000
That's not true:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DMC_DeLorean
total production reached an estimated 9,000 units
And allegedly they needed to sell about 2000 cars remaining to continue.
How dare you disparage the amazing Fiero!
getting spanked by a 1980 Chevy Citation (0-60 10.3) is not a good look
[Citation needed]
Their demise wasn’t due to lack of popularity, the company just had problems getting established, and ultimately didn’t survive its initial growth phase.
Hm, I thought their demise was due to them arbitrarily going back in time.
FUCK I accidentally hit 88mph again. I'm going to be really early to dinner...
I'd fucking love to have a DeLorean; they're bad cars but that's where the similarities to the Cybertruck end. They're just cool.
Yeah and at least they're creator had a cool story.
Yeah, he was a larger than life character, and the end of the company was spectacular. Most companies end with a whimper, his ended with an explosion.
I have a little personal anecdote about the end of DeLorean Motor Cars. At the end, I was living in Cleveland, OH, where DeLorean's brother had a Cadillac dealership, which also sold DeLoreans, of course.
When the company crashed, the government, or the bank, or the court, or somebody, was coming to take all the cars that were sitting in the factory parking lot in Detroit. The local news caught a helicopter shot of a long line of DeLoreans driving out of the lot, and down the road in a long line. They didn't bother to follow them.
A few days later, it was reported that all the surplus DeLoreans were missing, and DeLorean was hiding them somewhere, and they showed the footage of the cars driving off.
A few days after that, I was taking one of my favorite shortcuts through Lakewood, the suburb where DeLorean Cadillac was located. My shortcut was a small road/alley, with far less traffic and lights, which went behind the businesses along the main road.
One of those businesses was DeLorean Cadillac, with a big parking lot behind the dealership. I'd passed that lot many times, and it was always a mix of Caddys and DeLoreans, but this time I saw that it was FULL of nothing but DeLoreans, packed in like sardines. I had no doubt that these were the missing DeLoreans that the authorities were searching for.
So, of course I notified the authorities where they could find the cars, right? Fuck NO. DeLorean didn't seem like a bad guy, just a major dreamer who got desperate. I always kind of admired him. So I kept my mouth shut, and made the authorities find the cars without my help.
Narrator: …
He's right behind me isn't he
"nobody wants" or 60% of Americans can't afford basic living expenses?
Even if I could afford one, or want one, which I don't for many reasons, the vehicle is so ginormous that it would be the biggest pain in the ass in the world to drive around my city. Parallel parking? Forget it. Narrow side streets that are the width of a car, but somehow you need to let someone come down directly towards you and it's not a one way? Bumpy roads full of potholes or worn down to the original brick roads, with the vehicle that's tires wear out faster than any other due to the sheer weight?
I think you get the idea
Seattle? Sounds like Seattle.
so ginormous
Tell me about it. The Cybertruck is an inch and some change longer and 8" wider than my ratty full size 1990's pickup, yet somehow manages to have only slightly over half the usable cargo volume -- 42.80 cubic feet vs. 70.7. And I'm being extremely charitable by treating the Cybertruck's bed area as if it were cubic starting from its tallest point by the back glass, when in fact it's wedge shaped.
It also weighs 3269 pounds more (in its lightest configuration) and as we all know by now the Cybertruck's towing and trailer tongue weight ratings are outright lies. Whereas millions of people have successfully lugged a combined total of billions of tons worth of boats, bikes, lawn mowers, and RV's with GM and Ford pickups over the decades.
Even for the use case for someone who "needs" a truck, the Wankpanzer is a moronic choice.
Both.
Correction. They are worthless. lol.
yeah, if nobody wants them, then they are worth 0 dollars net
The batteries are still expensive and good to use for anything else. So it should be 20-25k in scrap.
I live in a pretty conservative area. I might pay $15k for a brand new one.
I'd buy them for their scrap metal and batteries if they were cheap enough for me to not feel guilty about giving money to tesla
Wait, now it's only $700 million. $400 million. $34 million... And it's $6.50.
Yeah, I guess there is someone out there who would buy a fleet of dumpster cars for $6.50.
I'd buy one for about tree-fiddy.
sprays loch ness monsta spray
Not today!
What!? You gave that damn monster another tree fiddy?
Can someone explain how the demographic of people who loved to park their gas guzzlers to purposefully block tesla charging stations are now Musk fanboys all of a sudden?
Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
There is only one single core belief in fascism. There must be an “in” group that the state protects, and an “out” group that the state oppresses. There are zero other rules. This means that the definition of the in group is completely arbitrary and fluid based on what helps the strongman at the top. If you ever question the definition of the in group, you are automatically part of the out group.
In fascism, there are no opinions. There is only loyalty to the one on top of the hierarchy. When they are told to hate EVs, they hate EVs. When they are told to love them the next day, they love them.
Have you seen what he posts on Twitter?
That is only if they catch fire.
Make elon pay to fire them into the sun
$800 million worth is giving a lot of value to something they can barely give away. Maybe $800K worth of material after the cost of dismantling.
They really should use the number of units. If Musk cranks the price from 80k to 120k, they suddenly have $1.2B sitting there? It's the same 10,000 ugly-ass pieces of shit.
The $800m figure is only useful for figuring out how much Tesla was expecting to make out of it. When you factor in the development and manufacturing costs, they're hemorrhaging money.
$800 million according to labor theory of value. 0$ million according to subjective theory of value
Yeah, a better number would be how much it cost to build the fuckers. I'm assuming they also need ongoing maintenance while they sit around rusting.
There's a reason just in time manufacturing took over the world. Storage is expensive.
Actually saw a Tesla with a Trump/Vance sticker on it today. I was already at 92% hate for Tesla. Thanks for making that 100% today stranger.
I actually saw the opposite last week. It was a Tesla but on the back was a sticker that looked like this:
So you're against Elon but still buys his dumpster car?
It's like you hate Belgium, so you go on holiday in Belgium but you put a "fuck Belgium" sticker on your suitcase. Why TF would you go there if you hate it. Why TF would you buy a nazi car when you're against nazis.
The sticker is just so they hope their swasticar isn't vandalized. You're a fucking nazi when you support nazis. This include buying their cars.
Strip out the bad stuff and drop them in the ocean and they can become reefs for fishies and their buddies?
So the steel basically.
I want to drive one into a brick wall. Not with me in it or anything. I figure I could do it just by setting it to auto-drive into a painting of a tunnel Looney Tunes style.
I could do the auto-drive I wouldn't mind
Just send them to Africa with the next batch of hats and t-shirts of whoever doesn't win the NBA finals
You can't run an African civil war with these. They're not Toyotas.
maybe they should try making their cars not ugly as sin
I would pay 10 bucks to use them in my survival kit as a fire starter.
I wonder if people don't want the truck because of its design or the association with Elon more.
Those are 2 excellent reasons to hate it.
I actually really like the look of it. It's so ugly.
Also paint. I hate seeing paint chips on my car. I know I can wrap but that's an extra expense to eat.
I just can't see myself buying a new Tesla due to the damage Elon has caused. It's a shame because my current Tesla is a wonderful car, in my opinion.
Does it really matter? It's a shit looking vehicle that can't drive in the rain if you don't switch to carwash? Mode? I think?
The vehicle has so many design oddities, so many manufacturing problems, and it's associated to one of the least liked billionaires in recent memory, so much so that people in the general public go out of their way to vandalize the vehicle whenever the opportunity presents itself.
What's to like about it? Even if you don't hate Elon, and don't hate the look/design, the"truck" is a meme at best and a gigantic waste of resources.
It's a novelty vehicle.
It's too big for many people. It's not as functional (in terms of towing and hauling) as a regular pickup. People who buy pickups for business uses are, for the most part, are going to be very nervous about buying an electric vehicle from a relatively new manufacturer.
Even if you put aside the issues with Elon: The issue with the Cybertruck is that Elon never understood it was a novelty vehicle. The traditional auto manufacturers make these novelty vehicles from time to time, but the difference is that they understand what they're building and know they're only going to sell 10,000 or something per year, and probably for a short run.
Elon's so far up his own ass that he doesn't understand why everyone isn't buying one.
I think its crazy that they made $800 mil worth of these cars. Who the hell thought they would sell well?
I always thought he was making them as a limited high-end run. It's neither of those things.
Oh its gonna be limited thats for sure. But yeah I had very similar thoughts as well. Theres one cyberfuck in my town and every time I see it I can’t help but think what a fucking goober one must be to buy it
That's 80,000 vehicles. The production capacity is 250k. Ford sold 460,000 F-150s last year.
Chrysler had an inventory of over 1 million last year, they've ran through that by March.
They had a ridiculous number of people putting in a deposit to reserve one, about two million reservations according to this: https://insideevs.com/news/687142/tesla-cybertruck-2-million-reservations-crowdsourced-data/
I guess they came to their senses.
Tesla stock is up 21% in the last week. What is going on?!
Speculators/inside traders betting on (more) favourable rule changes or a fat govt supply contract perhaps
dead cat bounce
Who knows / cares- it's a meme stock. Has about as much relation to Tesla's ability to sell cars as the price of any cryptocurrency has to its ability to be used as actual currency.
I’ll pay one thousand dollars cold hard cash for a new cybertruck
Just be sure you have enough savings for the inevitable repairs, tows, etc.
To salvage the materials and resell them or build something else from it?
I hadn’t thought about it that much, but I might put in in the yard with that camper top thing and maybe use it for a backup electricity maybe get a rooftop solar panel I have no idea.
(Edit: I mean a cool solar panel on my house that charges the Tesla truck during the day and using the Tesla to run the washing machine and dryer at night) like a thingee to store power and have a cool camper in the driveway.. if I got a new truck for 1k I would do the other stuff lol)
I'll give 'em tree fiddy
11,000 manufactured Ewaste never to be sold
As I wash out the plastic yougurt pots, that's what gets me the most. We're fucked and it's not Mrs Smith at number 47 using plastic straws that's causing this
Can confirm. Do not want.
Time to play…”WHO DO YA BAIL OUT! HUBBA-HUBBA-HUBBA, MONEY-MONEY-MONEY…WHO DO YA BAIL OOOOOUUUUUUUUT?!”
Elon underestimated how willing people were to buy a truck from a nazi.
Even people who would buy from Nazi's still want a functional car.
These things randomly stop working, break if you drive it into a half a foot of water, have rear view mirror housings which bust off when you try to pull down the sun visor, have a single ethernet cable routing all the controls and devices so that if the connection breaks anywhere everything stops working suddenly, a shelf underneath the headlight which accrues dirt or snow as you drive until it is not serving its purpose, exterior panels which just fall the fuck off, and hardly get any mileage.
The only people who buy these are those incapable of the barest reasoning.
That's a cool stance to take.
They're not worthless, im sure you can use them for scrap metal
If he drops the price to about $8k and includes lifetime fast charging, I'd consider one. Of course, for $8k, there are plenty of much nicer used trucks available on the market, though.
And they actually have truck functions that trucks should have. And they aren’t completely useless if the iPad in the cab decides to not work
Lifetime anyfeature is only of value as long as the company still honors it. Will Tesla still be in business in a decade? Seems doubtful.
I’ll take them ALLLLL off your hands for $3.50.
I will get in on the bids. $3.25!
How abut: The truck is just plain ugly.
It looks like a refuse bin. Square back, low opening front.
When I worked in a lime quarry, we used a bin something like that shape to put all the crap and garbage in The a-frame had a bar across the top and the kiln truck picked it up worth its hoist and loaded it on the back, and hauled away the load to the dump.
If Chevy had released this truck it would have been ended up like the HHR but worse.
It’s not even good at being a truck, aside from the other shit.
At least the HHR had a functional rear-view mirror
Well you could take it camping and cut vegetables with the doors. ...and use all the rust coming off it as an ingredient in your diy pottery glaze...that's about it tho.
So like what, 20?
All those retailer investors are going to get fucked so hard. They don’t even know they’re getting fed lies and end up bailing out the original investors who actually have money.
Oh no... anyway
If the talk about Cybertrucks actually rusting in the rain is true, they will be worth less and less and less...
Hopefully they all catch fire sell.
Fucking autocorrect am I right?
You hate to see it, whomp whomp
I actually don't hate to see it
I can, explicitly and unequivocally, state that I derive intense joy from having the privilege of seeing this.
Sounds like any fires we see now should start as insurance fraud investigations
I think a few hours with a torch and they would make fantastic dumpsters. Imagine if you could crab walk a self moving dumpster? Genius
Oh no, anyway...
And retail investors continue to bail out the investors with money who are actually making money. Watch out for that rug!
How is that $800 million WORTH? Is it a figure of speech?
Yes it's a common phrase. If an apple costs $2, and you have 10 apples, then you have $20 worth of apples.
But they sold $43 million in 72 hours! /s
I would take a few of the batteries. For free of course.
I mean, if they are gonna get rid of it, I will take one for free. Free EV is a free EV if it breaks down 5 days later then I am in the same situation I was before getting the truck.
Except it still cost you money. It still needs to be registered, titled, and plated. This means you will be in the negative after only having it for 5 days.
also the ~$5000 (?) clear coat... lol i bet those are all getting rusty in whatever lot they're stored in.
Just use it for the batteries and parts
Battery would be grand for a household solar install. Seats would be nice on the porch. The frunk can hold a lot of chicken feed, and the cabin would make a fine henhouse for a small flock.
This is the only situation I would support some backwoods jackass converting something to diesel and "rolling coal" in it.
I know it will never happen, but I would find in genuinely hilarious.
They are really going to have to slash prices to move those trucks. 50%,60%75%? Even then will anyone want them?
Good.
Hah hah hah. ¯(ツ)/¯
I would love for Tesla to have its management evaluated and filtered for Nazis. Then, when an independent company has removed and listed those nazis out, then I could consider buying from them.
“$800 million worth”?
\ “Nobody wants”?
Sounds like creative accounting…
They tried that in Canada and got caught. They'll get a free handy for doing it in the US under Tump though.
That’s what Trump’s big legal battle with New York was about - lying about the value of a penthouse or something.
So much of these “rich” fuckers wealth is just bullshit on paper.
I have $800M worth of lint in my belly button, apparently
Except these actually have value as scrap especially in the batteries.
Yup. Their boss controls the IRS. They'll write them off, get a bailout check, and sale the remaining trucks to the US military. Triple dip the American tax payer.