If an alien civilization were to visit Earth, what movie would you pick to show them in order to give them a summary of what mankind is all about?
Idiocracy
Everyday idiocracy is becoming more and more real
History of the world: part 1
I'm so disappointed there was never a part 2 made. That's one of my all-time favorite movies.
Independence Day. Just run away, alien dudes! The xenophobia isn't worth it!
Office space.
Schindler's List. Humans can be nasty, horrible, utterly evil. It's all too common. But some of us will work to do good. Some of us will push back and do what's right. There is evil in this world, but there is also goodness.
"Contact" for a similar reason. It's a mix of all motivations, along with people's general mistrust of each other.
Samsara for the same reason. It shows beauty mixed with terrifying images of human impact.
Koyaanisqatsi or Baraka, since I'm guessing they won't understand English nor indeed any human language.
I made the mistake of watching Baraka on 3gs of mushrooms.
I am a changed man.
Doesn't sound like a mistake.
I was hoping to find Koyaanisqatsi here
They'll nuke us out of orbit after watching that, but hey
Problem solved!
Life of Brian, no doubt
The meaning of life too
300
Let them think humanity is 99% buff oily badasses in speedos who will gladly fuck you up until their dying breath.
My autistic ass would have them watch all three Lord of the Rings movies. Y'all need to find a better diplomat than me.
My first thought too 😅
The Big Lebowski
That's, just like, uh, your opinion, man.
Don't Look Up - https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/dont_look_up_2021
Sort of summarizes the total shit-show that current politicians and billionaires are responsible for.
Idiocracy
Mean girls
On a Wednesday and make everyone wear pink, so the aliens feel ashamed for not wearing pink.
Idiocracy.
Real answer though, 2001 a space odyssey.
Idiocracy was honestly my first thought, but they wouldn't have all the cultural nuance required to understand it. Someone else said Don't Look Up, which I think would get through the irrationality a bit better.
Haha 2001 was my first thought, and Idiocracy was my second.
Independence Day.
I'll tell them it was a documentary. Or at least based on a true story.
"Interesting! Tell us, where are these aliens with terrible cybersecurity? We were thinking of conquering you, but now it's pretty clear that there's an easier and wealthier target."
History of the World: Part 1 seems pretty fitting.
Why not part 2?
Gotta start from the beginning.
Just the entire Cunk on Earth series.
100% factual information about human history.
Idiocracy.
Independence Day. Tell them it's a documentary.
5th Element is the only correct answer.
Although it would probably lead to a big badda boom :)
Orgasmo. The '97 one, not the '69 one. ... fuck it, also the '69 one. Make it a double-feature.
Shocked nobody's mentioned 'Mars Attacks.'
You should show them my latest movie that I can't promote right now.
They would be so confused, it would be hilarious.
Baraka... but they'd be 30 years out of sync with today :-)
I feel like it stood the test of time. Was my top pick with Idiocracy being a close second.
Why not Samsara?
Schindler's List
Spaceballs
The Gods Must Be Crazy. I think it shows the absurdity of our modern civilization in a lighthearted way.
Gods*
You're completely right. That what I get for writing on my phone. Corrected
Obviously the complete Stargate franchise. Humans don't put up with aliens tryin' to pull any shit.
Not a movie exactly, creators asked some basic questions and invited people to submit footage from a single day in July 2010. Exciting or mundane, anything.
It’s really well put together and always gives me a refreshed perspective on my place in the world.
They did it again in 2020, during the pandemic.
A Serbian Film
Honestly, Contact.
Eraserhead.
Lol. They'd leave and never come back.
"Gorg, wtf did I just watch?"
"I don't know, Sir"
Right? The best plan.
Arrival I think would be a great choice.
Doctor Zhivago. And when they inevitably fall asleep. I’m jacking that Ufo.
If I could get away with a miniseries, James Burke's Connections.
Or Cunk on Earth. It's a toss-up.
The Invention of Lying
Obviously the greatest documentary ever committed to film: The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.
I just came here to upvote every "Idiocracy" comment
The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) - Literally telling aliens that we will fuck shit up.
Stalker (1979) - You can leave your garbage and we'll think it's treasure.
Dude, Where's My Car? (2000) - Humanity is really just a bunch of idiots, stumbling through everything.
Letting them know what mankind is all about seems like a terrible idea. We're jerks.
District 9
Full Metal Jacket.
Hellraiser II
Samsara
Love that movie, Baraka is also a good choice.
shrek 2
Double Feature: Ender's Game (2013) and Starship Troopers (1997) - then we serve them a sumptuous shellfish tower to discuss their surrender over dinner.
Ender's Game was such a pile of shit (FYI, I love the book) even the anti-grav tag sequence couldn't absolve it. Swap it for District 9 and you're closer to the target - especially with the fookin' prawn dish.
I thought the movie did a decent job of telling the story considering the limitations of the medium.
According to the author many studios have approached him over the years with unacceptable alterations and that one was the first one to come along with anything good enough.
He said it had to be literally children, first of all, and they always wanted to change that.
Yeah, let them read the book and tell them that sadly no movie has ever been made.
gremlins 2
Wall-E. Sums it up pretty well
“The Final Member”
It’s a documentary about the worlds first penis museum in Iceland trying to finally secure a human specimen
According to Salman Rushdie, he and Carrie Fisher tried to buy Napoleon's penis from the estate of a dentist from New Jersey who'd recently died with it in his collection.
Salò.
Earth Girls Are Easy
Shawshank Redemption
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.
Half Baked
Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004)
good post!
Fun fact: I have watched none of the movies listed here in the comments
The House of Spirits or Melancholia
Rocco's Animal Trainer #3.
End of ze world.
They Shall Not Grow Old (2018) by Peter Jackson.
A youtube compliation of high tension powerlines exploding.
I don't recall the part that shows us at our best. In fact, about the only thing I can remember is the boy's old man face which is is enough to give people nightmares all by itself.
Cloud Atlas
Oooh! I think that's my favourite so far. It would introduce several eras including the ones we only envision in our future, and would introduce a number of concepts about myths, stories and social structures.
Either point break or bad boys 2.
I mean best is USSR's 1965 Triumph Over Violence, directed by Romm
Do you have a link to this somewhere? I can't find any torrent and it sounds cool.
Requiem for a dream
Magnolia
Freddy Got Fingered (2001)
🎶 Daddy would you like some sausage? Daddy would you like some sausages? 🎶
Fellowship, two towers, return of the king. Tell them it's one movie showing how the littlest person can make the biggest difference.
Really?
I mean, a person can make another person's day, sure!
But on real big societal issues? Gooooood luck. I'm waiting on Frodo to level the rich poor divide, to stop wars, and to stop and reverse climate change, but he's crying in a pillow
Schindler's list. Yeah aliens. It's like that. Go ahead and end us thx.
Nobody has mentioned porn. We try and say things in our great works of art but maybe they'd learn more from what we make when we're trying to say nothing at all.
Scary Movie 3
If you know what i mean 😉
Charlie Chaplin Modern Times
An interesting choice, but they'd be pretty mislead about how our economy works 90 years on.
Revenge of The Nerds
Silent night, deadly night 2
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. 100%.
ET
Mars Attacks!
Brazil.
Great photography. Great actors good sets. Relatable charachters. And it perfectly encapsulates the curent trends of the world.
zeitgeist
Citizen Kane.
Harry Potter; you'll understand every conflict on earth.
Under the Skin (2014)
L'Arroseur Arrosé. That will show them not to block the sunlight with their ship.
(It would also show them our love for beauty, aour dependency on water, sense of humour and sense for justice.)
Teaching them our sense for justice worries me. Either they understand we can police ourselves or they start holding us accountable for wrongdoings under their legal system with no warning, assuming we'll understand.
Dark Waters
Clockwork Orange
Minority Report
Pacific
Maybe they’ll end us quick
“American Movie”
Nothing summarizes the dream of freedom and creativity of the human species in the face of incompetency like “American Movie”
A documentary about a couple of regular dudes trying to make a horror movie
WHATS UP JERKS
GEOSTORM
Even Dwarfs Started Small
Predator
A certain sci fi movie from 1992
Roots
I too want to be vaporised. Or even worse they decide to try and participate in our traditions.
Mishima: A Life in Four Parts Playtime Aguirre, the Wrath of God Koyaanisqatsi Enter The Void Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Once Upon a Time in the West
And just for shits
Visitor Q
Something meaningful from Robin Williams. The Fisher King comes to mind.
Mongolia
Swap.avi
Aliens or Predator both have our beautiful military boys and girls getting got by our alien overlords.
requiem for a dream. im gonna blow their MINDS
Counterpoint, requiem for a pizza
Apocalypse Now
The French Dispatch
Idiocracy
Clicked through to say this.
It's got what alien civilizations crave
...but after that aliens gonna want to see the "Ass".