Fungah @ Fungah @lemmy.world

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278

Joined

2 yr. ago

Well played. You win. This round.

No problem.

I'll add one other thing: Others have mentioned couples therapy. This is a great idea. Even if the relationship is already over, worst case scenario is they both gain some insight into their own toxic behavioural patterns to make their next relationship better.

I the danger me

Russell Brand? More.like rapist.

Wtf is this. I'm so confused.

I do think it would be more difficult ting if it was a sinister tetrahedron, the most evil of shapes.

"yes" is the most dangerous word in the English language.

Hotter take: ban religion completely outside of religious facilities and private dwellings.

No iconography, no discussion, nothing. You can go into your temple and do whatever stupid shit you want, you can aid the poor if you want, but everything to do with your religion stays behind closed doors.

Amen.

Nobody takes issue with the idea that people can't own people. Until they're in a relationship and they start thinking of their partner as their property.

The insecurity around the all-or-nothing nature of monogamy creates all of the problems in monogamy.

Plus: orgies. Like. What's the point of living without orgies?

Sex with one person, forever, no group sex, incessant discussions around fidelity driven by insecurity, gee, where do I sign up?

I've found some really, really weird art besides the dumpster behind my building, and the steady stream of old electronics has really helped in learning how to solder.

You don't even need to open up a dumpster honestly.

I'm with you on the value of platonic female friendships. Miss me with banging s dude though. And you make a wonderful point about having intense, passionate, no strings attached sexually charged, animalistic flings with women in their mid 20s.

No one teaches you how to have a relationship. So people just kind of default into patterns that are often toxic.

It's why taking a step back and being deliberate about how to communicate is so important. There needs to be a shared understanding and deliberateness about how to intentionally communicate.

And it needs to be something that applies equally to everyone involved. No copouts, no special circumstances that only go one way, there need to be firm, hard rules with specific consequences that apply evenly to all involved that are arrived at communally, and not unilaterally.

But can they discover why kids like the sweet taste of cinnamon toast crunch?

It takes two to tango.

The defensive lashing out type stuff happens because he hasn't established firm boundaries around it. And she's probably lashing out about stuff because... Well. Doesn't matter, really.

There need to be firm boundaries about how to have a discussion that apply evenly to both of them. Both of them need to buy into these rules. When the lines are crossed the discussion ends.

This isn't about shutting down a discussion but having the awareness to recognize constructive versus destructive discussions.

Setting reasonable, adult boundaries and rules, sticking to them, and establishing that certain behaviours are problematic are the only way this gets better.

If she's unable to recognize her own defensiven ss as a problem and work on it all of this falls apart but having the framework in place will allow transparency into the why of it.

Hi dad, it's me, your son, but from the future. I'm 75 now and writing to you via a time machine I found behind a McDonald's Bell.

It is crucially important you need these words: do not order the fish sticks. Under no circumstances, NONE, order the fish sticks.

Agreed.

Reading the article, even when they're taking responsibility they're still not taking responsibility.

"It's my fault, but that's because it's everyone else's fault"

You're right, I should have some purely physical, no strings attached flings with multiple women in their mid 20s.

Yeah. I was broke af when I made my statue. It's mostly... I guess technically mortar. Cement and sand and burlap and chicken wire. Cement is not expensive.

My religion is "keep your religion dar the fuck away from me".

I believe in freedom from religion even more strongly than of religion

So you're saying I should make a point of banging wom n in their mid 20s?