My younger brother keeps saying he is an Alpha male and bad mouths who he thinks are Beta. Can some one please explain to me what the hell is going on?
"Alpha male" basically translates to toxic masculinity, and "beta male" basically translates to anyone who respects other people in any way. It's the callsign of pieces of shit like Andrew Tate, who is a human trafficker and serial sexual abuser currently in prison awaiting trial in... I think it was Croatia?
He doesn't know what it means to be cool, so he's hoping that just declaring that he's cool will be good enough to make him popular.
The problem is that the kids who try this strategy almost universally cannot pick up on social cues, otherwise they would understand that it will always lead to the opposite result. People who seriously say out loud that they're alpha males are pretty much exclusively losers or scumbags.
I think it was Croatia?
Romania?
Ask him if being an alpha male is a furry thing
Also if he likes werewolf romance novels
In this case, this should be the only acceptable explanation.
Skip a step and just buy him some furry romance novel like "alpha of my heart" or whatever (I will not be googling for options, no shame but I don't need that in my history)
Give it to him and tell him you support him and he's really brave to be himself in front of you and others.
Alpha males are like alpha versions of software
neutron male 😎
Tell him calling himself an alpha is just what a beta would do. Real alphas don't say shit about themselves, they have people who do that for them. Watch him implode.
He’s watching toxic YouTubers like Joe Rogan and Andrew Tate.
If you want advice on how to handle this: ask questions. Ask them calmly and without any judgment. Be genuinely curious.
"What makes him a 'beta male?'"
"What characteristics do you admire most in 'alpha males?'"
"What characteristics do you think you have?"
"Where'd you learn about all this?"
Don't ask them in rapid fire, pepper a question in here and there over time.
He wants girls to think he is cool but has received bad advice
It’s called the manosphere, and it’s a bunch of bad podcasters and YouTubers giving shitty advice on how to be a man to insecure kids. It’s annoying because it’s so stupid on its face and yet it’s working.
Can you blame them, though? I can’t think of a single person speaking for young men who is also widely accepted by the liberal left - or however you want to define the "good guys." Even here on Lemmy, anyone slightly deviating from the narrative is met with extreme hostility. It’s not that young men are naturally drawn to figures like Andrew Tate - they’re being pushed there.
What narrative would that be? That all people, regardless of gender, ethnicity etc. deserve equal rights?
Can you blame them, though? I can’t think of a single person speaking for young men who is also widely accepted by the liberal left - or however you want to define the "good guys."
There are plenty of social media personalities with massive followings that specifically aim some or all of their contents at men with a positive vision of what men can be. I watch FD Signifier personally. There are also plenty of articles showcase positive male social media personalities with millions of followers. You should have done a 5 second Google search before saying something so easily debunked. You can't think of them because you are not looking.
Even here on Lemmy, anyone slightly deviating from the narrative is met with extreme hostility.
Welcome to social media, first day? You'll get that same extreme hostility in Andrew Tates comments if you deviate from being misogynistic.
It’s not that young men are naturally drawn to figures like Andrew Tate - they’re being pushed there.
You're right, just not in the way you're claiming. They are being pushed by social media algorithms that reward toxicity and simple answers. That's not the fault of the lefts "groupthink" it's on those companies.
I just can’t take anyone seriously who refers to liberalism as “the liberal left.” Liberals absolutely have not treated young men well, but for fuck sakes man read a fucking book or something just once in your life.
How about the hundreds speaking to 'people' in general instead of young men? Making your target audience 14yo boys is kind of fucked up on its own.
Edit: as people habe pointed out, this comment is too generalized and not valid out of context. Of course there needs to be media for all ages. We should focus on limiting misuse in the form of indoctrination and manipulation.
liberal left
There is no such thing as a "liberal" left. Liberalism is a right-wing ideology - that's why they are constantly "reaching across the aisle" to their fascist brethren.
(Apart from that I do agree with your point, though.)
Your brother is being recruited by the fascists. That is what is going on.
Andrew Tate and his cum dungeon brother are a big reason for this.
Anyone who has to vocalize that they're an alpha, isn't. Your brother is a loser.
If you have to say you're in charge, you're not
Ask him,whether this alpha beta talk is a furry thing.
People are generally stupid, even more so when they're young. Younger people are getting brainwashed by low-IQ online influencers into believing this Alpha/Beta shit.
It's that simple.
If you want to help him, try to break his addiction to those influencers.
Alpha quality, like software. Buggy as hell and should not be released. :D
srsly though it's the clusterfuckchild of social darwinism, grindset mentality and randroid zoology, plus a bit of wannabe-dom.
There was this old, debunked concept of the 'alpha wolf' as pack leader - all dominance displays, all the time, stronger and wiser and better than the rest, a sort of rightful-king that owes nothing to anyone, and that all lesser wolves obey and look up to.
Some absolute chuds picked up on the concept and decided that it applied to people, that it was a quality people could and should naturally embrace, unless they were just inherently inferior.
And of course they tied that all up with being male, because apparently men are just 'naturally dominant', unless again, they're broken and inferior ones - so if you are male, it's vital to prove that you're a properly functioning one by being a domineering asshole who deserves to get away with it out of sheer chutzpah, or else you deserve nothing but contempt and getting trodden on.
This ties in with conservative morality, which is entirely based around acknowledging and reinforcing social hierarchy. Right is when power is exerted downwards in the hierarchy, wrong is when power is asserted upwards.
So in this world, 'alphas' are the master race, while 'betas' are submissive half-men who lack the strength (and thus the virtue) to display the proper 'rugged independence'. They're also obsessed with 'cucks', ie cuckolds, men who lack the necessary manliness to fight off 'alphas' who would disrespect and shame them by having sex with their woman.
It's all incredibly toxic, and you need to pick him up and shake the bullshit out of him.
pic related
Toxic people that would never have had a platform for their bullshit have suddenly gained that ability in just 20 years time because of the internet. People that would normally receive a lot of fists in their face, do not anymore. The digital world is such a new thing that it's completely unnatural for us to live with and it affects our perspectives and social lives. It simply goes way too fast for evolution to catch up to.
Without good care, it creates people that are completely delusional and deranged. Filter bubbles also add up to the problem. One that consumes content will be served more similar content, creating and feeding a very limited perspective. Because everything in the digital world is so new, there have been almost no studies in how it affects us and how it should be remedied.
Get him off YouTube and social media
This is the right answer.
Your brother currently is a little loser who listens to the sad little men like Andrew Tate who talk about aloha and beta and have no fucking idea what they're talking about. He can be alright, he just needs to get out and touch grass, interact with real people, interact normally with girls... He'll be fine.
Just tell him that alpha and beta thing does not exist in the wild. Even the author said so.
https://phys.org/news/2021-04-wolf-dont-alpha-males-females.html
It does not apply to humans. Are you saying your brother is a wolf? Is he a furry perhaps?
Humans are more complex than that.
Yeah that argument has never dissuaded a single chud from embracing in the “alpha” bullshit. They’re being fed this bs from manosphere manipulators like Andrew Tate or someone adjacent or from peers. Their goal is to become cool and intimidating, it’s not about the bad research that lifted up this bullshit myth so long ago.
Also doesn't apply to wolves, the original researcher just mistook a parent protecting her kids for an aggressive male
He's defective. Talk to the manufacturer about getting a replacement
Young men who start to behave this way are lacking direction and aren't self-starters. So to cope with the fact they aren't accomplishing anything or going anywhere in life, they assume an outwardly-accusing posture.
Contrary to the image peddled by the grifters, every guy I've known with the "alpha" mentality has been a dishwasher, car porter, snow shoveler, or unemployed cretin.
Kick him in the nuts so hard you remove him from the gene pool permanently.
Andrew Tate.
You mean Gollum
yes
That tells you that he's insecure about himself
next time he says that just slap him hard. And ask him who's the alpha now?
All alpha maleism is categorically insecurity. For each of them it's different. Figure out exactly what he's trying to bury under all this tate shit and address it directly. It could be the onset of male loneliness, that shows up around the teenage years - lasts forever though if he's aware he can make changes. It could be he's insecure in his own sexuality - just get him to open up and take everything he said to the grave with you. There could be a person or activity the betas engage in that he can't, or is afraid of being made fun if. Teach him how to stand up to that shit and grow through it.
I'm not suggesting you punish your bro in a way that would enable this behavior further. It's hard to be an alpha type when you're showered in love and support- it just looks stupid. He's probably going through some of the first real life shit, and handling it poorly. As his sister you're kinda on the hook for helping him through this. If you do, you'd probably have a better brother and friend.
He found tate's channel.
I say this as a younger brother who was beat up by older siblings. If you are both under 18 and he's a lot smaller than you, slap him. If he thinks he's an "alpha" and you aren't, it might be the only thing that points out that he is just human
After you do this, please please please try to point out his error in thinking. No "alpha" commands any respect and the "alpha" bosses are the ones nobody wants to work for
"There is no such thing, if you want I can slap you around and prove you're just a normal person if you like?"
Avoids hitting anyone and hopefully gets the point across. If it doesn't... Wouldn't hitting them not get it across anyways?
Just tell him he's fully cuckpilled cause he clearly isn't looksmaxxing.
This comment section is either full of top notch satirists or the worst fucking people on Lemmy. I honestly can't tell.
Can't it be both?
How old is he?
He is a furry that identify as a wolf. /s
How old is your brother? If he is an early teenager, it is possible that he picked these concepts up from somewhere and will very likely grow out of that thinking all by himself.
Twenty Two. He just started this shit. Me and my mom don't know to be offened worried or what.
Every time he says it ask him if that's a furry thing.
It's a furry thing
Yeah, ask him how many omega males he's fertilised.
If you're really asking what it means, an Alpha is a strong leader. They don't take commands, they give them. If they want something, they take it. They consider themselves superior to the weaker beta males, and feel that it is their duty to lead the betas, or that they are doing them a favor by pushing them to be more like an alpha.
Although, a lot of the time, the people who claim to be alphas have none of the redeeming characteristics, so they just act like entitled assholes.
EDIT. I think because I didn't come out swinging people are assuming I believe any of this shit. I was trying to explain it from the perspective of their brother. I thought they wanted to know what it was about, and just calling people assholes doesn't really explain what THEY believe.
Correction - when you say "an alpha is a strong leader," you mean, "some people think an 'alpha male' is a strong leader, but that's not based in reality."
If you’re really asking what it means, an Alpha is a
pseudo scientific myth that has been twisted and then adopted almost exclusively by toxic men to try and boost their own ego and justify their shit behaviour
FTFY
I wouldn't even give it that much credit.
The underline issue is that human evolve to be part of social norms. Use to be a tribe, a country, a sport club. But new generation can be have more options. Associating with alpha male or whatever means he belong to a group who might like his meme or comments.
It could also be due to lack of a man figure they can associate with. So watching documentaries of strong males might help shed light on what the role could look like.
What you want is to balance his only identity or group with other (groups). For example, joining a gym, fishing, be part of musical band …. Whatever he is also into, just to get him out of that only identity he is associating with.
For me I would try to come from telling him being alpha means you can hunt or camp or survive in the wild, then lead to cooking classes or wood working. Something that mentally and physically taxing. I also would watch gordon Ramsay shows and Anthony Bourdain just to crash that image of one way to be an alpha male. You can cook and be an alpha male as the same time type thing.
Yeah he needs Ron Swanson
Re-educate him & show that Alphas don't live that long
The surest way to guarantee you're a beta is by calling yourself an alpha
"prove your brother wrong," is a valid solution.
I don't think you really get the underlying issue here based on your response.
Do brothers not wrestle anymore? Lmfao
Anyone who calls themselves an "alpha" anything is a small dicked nobody.
Tell him you aren't interested in hearing about his omegaverse self insert
Alpha and beta? I'm released on service pack 2
Others have given you a lot of info here on what it is your brother is referring to.
But what this is reflecting in your brother is that he has fallen into a pipeline of watching these videos or hanging out with people that watch these videos and had some insecurities that he's dealing with that is making these ideas seem like the answer. It would be a great idea to be supportive of him in whatever other hobbies/activities he has outside of watching those videos and spending time with him. Talk with him about anything other than the content of those videos so that those thoughts aren't even entering his mind. Introduce him to your friends that are also supportive in something other than those videos (you don't mention your ages, so it's unclear if you know the same people). Having supportive people around his activities and hobbies will help him lose some of those insecurities that made him gravitate to those videos.
If that fails, what I've seen others say works is if says he's an alpha male say back "I'm not into that furry stuff, but that's really cool your so open with your sexuality like that, and accepting of others' sexualities like recognizing the beta males"
If that fails, what I’ve seen others say works is if says he’s an alpha male say back “I’m not into that furry stuff, but that’s really cool your so open with your sexuality like that, and accepting of others’ sexualities like recognizing the beta males”
I doubt that actually works to get people off that mindset. It's just a funny twitter joke people have latched onto. Other than that 100% agreed. If he's fallen into this manosphere shit things probably aren't going well for him socially and he probably needs help to get out of it. When I was young I certainly did and was fortunate enough to get into a much better environment after I got out of high school that corrected my mindset (for the most part, there's always a need for self-reflection). While deserved, ridiculing him for these beliefs won't get anywhere other than to make him feel more isolated.
How old is your brother?
kick him in the ribs, become the true alpha
He's a beta cuck. Real alphas don't have to go around proclaiming their alpha status and receiving praise and validation from betas and other "alphas".
this is great lmao what a prick
And you're telling everyone here that you are an ableist.. ¯(ツ)_/¯
nope, autists don't need that flack
That's Based
You're very confrontational. Don't lie.
Your brother is on a (specifically designed and heavily funded) pipeline to being a total piece of shit (not just with misogyny, but racism, and probably queerphobia and ableism too), do what you can to get him off it. A quick search brings up what looks to be some good info to start you off:
Manosphere
Misogynistic influencers are trending right now. Defusing their message is a complex task
De-radicalising incels out of the ‘manosphere’ through Reddit
Making a Radical Misogynist: How Online Social Engagement with the Manosphere Influences Traits of Radicalization
Swallowing and spitting out the red pill: young men, vulnerability, and radicalization pathways in the manosphere
Exiting the Manosphere
There are also many youtube videos on the subject, though I haven't watched any recently, so I won't link, but look up something along the lines of "manosphere right wing pipeline" and you should see some results.
The Alt-Right Playbook videos are an also must watch, starting here:
https://youtu.be/P55t6eryY3g
Fucking hell, I had to scroll all the way down here to find an answer that isn't complete garbage.
Good news, they're top comment, now!