Daily discussion thread: 🧣🧤 Monday, June 17, 2024

When you admit you need help as you’re struggling but get shamed and invalidated. I’ll just go back to hiding inside my head. Reasons why I isolate myself.

Are you ok?
Hey, hope you're not in danger or anything. Is everything alright? Hope today has been okay for you ...

Went to the aquarium yesterday, and saw this dickhead:

how does he eat?

every time i get Minimum Sleep for Proper Function the DT collectively gets weird dreams

there must be a causation somewhere

YOU. YOU NEED TO START SLEEPING PROPERLY BECAUSE I DON'T WANT THESE WEIRD DREAMS ANYMORE.
- ^sorry
you're the designated sleeper. Nobody told you?
- But what about after eight
Actually now that you mention it, I did have kind of an odd dream. It was in 3rd person.
- As Gibson?
I had a bunch of weird dreams last night. I thought it was from a lack of REM sleep the night before, but this makes sense!!
We need to get you some sleeping pills because I'm not going to relive the end of the world tonight thanks.
- I already took one when I went to bed late last night. I intend to go to sleep pillless and normally tonight

I just got my electricity bill and thought there was a mistake because it was so low - apparently I got a $90 credit for a long power outage. It's nice to get a win.

Soooo I just got woken up by a bloke shining a torch in my fucking face. There's cops in my house. At 1am. AGAIN

Seriously.. this new kid... Nothing but trouble. Wtf

[They were looking for him, and I guess nobody told this worker which bedroom is his]

Damn you almost need a sign on your door... "He's that way --->"
I swear all the idiots need to go off to an island and live with each other if they want trouble so much
- Funny you say that, because after realising he had the wrong room, he closed the door and then started opening all the vacant rooms, including my spare room. I opened my door and pointed and said "he's down there dude"
WTF. How terrifying.
- Yeah...

...which translated to real life, and I woke up.

I guess that was trying to tell me something...

There's a lot to unpack there, wow! What a beautiful piece of writing though, nicely done!
- Came here to say the same thing about how well written that was - time for you to write a short story I think! =)
so many hugs, are you feeling better now?
- Yes! Actually even though it was a really vivid dream with a bad ending, it's helped my subconscious process some emotions (writing it all out helped a lot, too). It's been a great day, actually, feeling like I'm shedding the post holiday blurgh and maybe coming to terms with the weather on a physical level. Next two days are more challenging, let's see how I go

Good night everyone and special hugs for Melbs an Melbcat

Thanks

Seeing that sleep is today's topic...

Out the front of my place there's a part of the road that dips quickly outside my bedroom. Been getting worse recently.

People fang it up and down that road and gets pretty busy at around 5am (for some reason the last few months has been crazy for a residential street). When it's a tradie with unsecured metal shit in the tray / trailer it makes an immense noise bouncing around so 5am is my new wake up time.

I think people are realising it's a short cut to avoid the nearby junction.

Once that first clang hits, it's game over. Counted 11 clangs today before 8am.

I wonder about this with Google Maps and Waze. They can find drivers shortcuts, but make residential roads so busy because the were never intended for that amount of traffic

I'm in the process of writing up a care agreement for my mother's future (short version: Mum gives me house now, I take care of everything the house equity would have provided). It's a lot like drafting a pre-nup, except instead of dividing up a house you haven't bought yet and deciding custody of children that haven't been born it's all "what happens if Mum gets dementia" or "what happens if I get sick and need support too" type issues. Combined with reading lots of sobering stories about what can go wrong in caregiving and these sorts of agreements it's a bit confronting. I have just signed myself up for a fairly expensive trauma/illness insurance policy, which also has a sobering list of all sorts of terrible things that could befall me in the future.

The whole process has also made me realise something - our society's approach to aging is horribly broken. So many of the problems that happen with elderly people relate to a combination of abhorrence of the idea of aging leading to people not wanting to think/talk about options and a devaluing of carers so the job often gets foisted on vulnerable people who are often ill equipped to do the job and often exploited horribly. Add in our reverence for individual choice to be respected (which means people can lose capacity to make good decisions and no one has the power to do anything about it - refer to "scams")

Just the way we generally talk about aging is illustrative - "when I get that way, just take me out and shoot me" is often the extent of planning for the future we do, and is often used to shut down conversations trying to do anything more. One problem with that sort of concept is it treats "getting old" as a one-time event that just happens, as if everything is fine one day, and the next you reach a point where you become valueless. That concept prevents people from taking a gradual approach to winding down as they get older. It's no wonder elderly people often fight the slightest loss of independence, we set things up as an all-or-nothing situation, like walking off a cliff instead of a gentle downhill stroll.

The other problem with that is that no one actually has the power to "just" do anything - whether that be stopping you driving, "putting" you in a home, or shooting you. The only option people have to make decisions for you is if they can have you declared incompetent, both reinforcing the walking off a cliff feeling for older people and putting their family in the impossible position of being expected to look after them (both by society and earlier promises) without actually allowing the family any legal right to actually do so.

With the agreement I'm working on I hope to set things up to allow for a more dignified and gradual withdrawal from responsibility for Mum, allowing her to pass over the responsibilities that are getting harder to manage without losing choices of how she wants to live and what she wants to do. Hopefully I will be able to set myself up to eventually do the same in future.

Sounds like you are already doing all the right things but there's a book called 'letting go' by Charlie Corke that talks about death planning. Read it a while back but I remember it had some really good practical advice and was not too heavy to read.
Edit. And hugs. This is tough stuff
- Even better the library has that as an e-book, I have downloaded it now. I'm currently re-reading "Avoiding the aging parent trap" by Brian Herd which is by a lawyer specialising in elder law that has a lot of good information in it.
  I think researching and planning is my go-to coping strategy, having a good plan in place always makes me feel better. The hard bit will be all the family discussions around it. I always worry about what reaction I'm going to get and fret about what could go wrong, but so far all the talks we have had have gone well so I probably shouldn't worry so much.

I ordered a heater from Kmart on May 30, and someone went and lost it. Kmart sent me an email the same day that they'd sent it, but the tracking never updated and when I contacted couriers please they said they'd never received it. When I checked on the Kmart page their tracking had changed from "fully shipped" to "we're trying to find items for your order". I contacted Kmart and they just refunded me stating it had been lost in transit.

Booooo

Also the other kid stole my water jug I keep in my fridge and now I don't have cold water :(

Maybe look into getting yourself a little bar fridge? 2nd hand on marketplace you could get one for maybe 70 bucks delivered?
Save a lot of headaches.
- Next payday I reckon I will. I found a small fridge + freezer that I think should fit in my cupboard for 60 bucks. 3.5 energy efficiency, so I figured if it fits it'd be a good investment for when I move out too. But I needed a tape measure to confirm it would fit which I forgot to buy

Yeah, I think I'm on the verge of the sickness.

I'm utterly fucked. Brain not work good. Body feels weird.

I know it'll get better over the next couple of days but damn, fucking with your circadian rhythm is intense.

Oof. I'm sorry Melbs. I know the feeling all too well. I gave up with cops after they disregarded my call when a worker at my last place was being threatened by a kid who was holding a chair over her head and threatening to kill her, plus a number of other times either I or the workers had been assaulted. They can maybe 1 in 10 times they were needed, and always 7-8 hours after it had happened
- Oof. I'm sorry dude. The cops are stretched thin and it seems if you're in a certain area or 'class' you're not a priority.
No judgement here, cops were absolutely useless at the old old place when we were being harassed by the neighbours' brats and their arsehole mates. Until they got the call out by another neighbour after they had the house to themselves one long weekend and ran absolutely riot.
They treated me better with the robbery saga over Christmas/January but ultimately did/were able to do fuck all.
No judgement, have also found police to be useless tbh. Hope you can move asap.

Bout to lose my shit at work. We're in the "Find out" stage of the FAFO process. All the pressure is somehow falling on the shoulders of the poor bloke who if we had of listened to this legend in the first place the whole mess woulda been avoidable.

I just told one part of the business "Oi, dont fuck with X or you'll break shit!" for the second time this year, because they broke shit again. They replied with "yes, but also something isnt working properly" and its taking all I have not to reply with "if ya'll stop sending bloody viruses the anti-spam will leave you alone! Until then I've had to set it to maximum cause if you leak customer data again the relevant authority is gonna have someone shot! To say nothing of what i'll do to you!"

Ah man. You're reminding me of what I'm missing out on.
I remember the time one of the people who I managed threatened my job. Couldn't say anything because he was my managers best buddy.
Fucking hate office politics.

Woke up at 530, completely refreshed and not groggy. Started my day that much earlier, which was nice, but holy fudge am I completely zonked right now.

Might need a 15 min power nap at some point.

As a reformed sleeper-in-er-er, I now routinely get up at about 5.
I am, I have to say, one of those abominable "morning prople" who waxes on about how much better it is to start early etc etc etc. Of course, I'm also basically a nanna who is in bed by half nine.
- I'm generally up at around 630, but that's planned. Unplanned wake ups are welcome when I'm rested, but the 2 pm downer hits bad.
  My bad habit is not going to bed until 1030 at the earlies.
Might need a 15 min power nap at some point.
Arnt you in a senior position now? its past 2pm, you should already be on the golf course!
- It's seniorish. High enough to be accountable, but not high enough to fuck around that much.
  I'm actually busier than ever 😥
my back pain totally messed up my sleep, I'm still sleep deprived and put anxiety on top of that
but I have stopped having coffee after 4 and am trying to stay warmer at night

finally slept alright last night. So yep, it was covid messing with me.

How's the brain fog?
- not 100% gone, but enough to come back to work and roll my eyes at everyone. So thats a start!

Feeling a fair bit better. The sun is out and its a gorgeous day. I went for a drive to get a coffee and it was amazing. I just wanted to keep driving! I really REALLY missing my old car. I'd give just about anything for one last trip in it. I'd love to be standing on the dock at Cowes with a doughnut and the wind in my hair, or sitting at bar in Falls Creek with a alpine cider in my hand. Or the beach of tidal river with some fish and chips.

I heard from the family member who brought my car the other week. They love it, but financially looking to sell it cause it makes more sense for the business to expense a new one. I know I could buy it back, but it doesn't make sense. It doesn't suit the family, and its just spending money delaying the purchase of its ultimate replacement: but the replacement is still years away and I'm just stuck with the dadmobile SUV. Sigh. I shouldnt complain, especially after the events of that piece of shit mazda last year. but I can still be sad.

Must have been a night for odd dreams. I had several, one of which included me and another person having to have cats down our tops as we went about our work. I forgot the cat was there after a while and got worried I’d hurt it or squashed it, but when I checked the cat was comfortably curled up and asleep. The other dream about arguing with a nasty woman who wouldn’t pay me for work I’d done wasn’t so great.

Mine was about the end of the earth. I had to make it to where the sky was glowing blue but I came across people walking back from there saying it was the wrong direction and we had to go back where it was dark. There was more to it but that's all I remember.
10/10 would subscribe to the chest-cat dream channel. Unless it comes bundled with the nasty non payment dreams, in which case that's a hard no.

Ok so the quick nap to feel refreshed lasted a couple of hours. No matter, it was to be expected.

Edit: my brain is mush. Recreational activities only for today I think. If I can muster the energy.

Tested again this morning and got the faint line, but since the stick snapped off in the vial and I had to find some tweezers to rotate it, I wouldn't be surprised if it's actually stronger.
Anyway still coughing and honking and last night I had the knives in my throat feel, so definitely not fit to work. Or be out of the house.

I fell asleep at like 5pm and slept until my alarm at 7am. That was magical.

I'm surprised the cat let me. I hadn't fed him but he didn't wake me up by pawing at his bowl, he mostly just cuddled up all night.

Also had weird dreams. The one I remember thinking was important is the one I remember the least.

I also had a nightmare where I needed to pee but all the bathrooms had piles of random boxes in them that meant I had to squeeze in and awkwardly sit there. Also they were in public places.

That one wasn't profound I just slept for 13 hours and really needed to pee.

Ha, I love the pee ones that aren't about anything other than needing to pee - way to break the fourth wall, body!
I do think dreams have some meaning insofar as it's our subconscious unpacking stuff, they dont predict the future but they give some hints as to how we might act or behave about certain things. When I've responded in an unexpected way or intensity to something and I'm trying to understand where that came from, dreams have been a great clue. Even the ones I dont remember, aside from when I have a dream later and all I can remember is "I've had this dream before".

Alright. Trying for 6am round 2 tomorrow. Goodnight everyone ❤️

Goodnight and good luck!
Goodnight, I should be hitting the hay too because I need to leave the house by 7am tomorrow, but I had too much tea... 😒

There are strangely few people around. I’ve not forgotten some sort of holiday have I?

Everyone's rocked up to work late as well, one guy's sick and another hasn't turns up, I'm not sure if it's Victorian Sickie in Solidarity day...
- The program coordinator here is MIA and the case manager isn't answering so I guess it really is
Nothing unusual here, traffic was the usual business this morning on the way to work this morning.
Same here, surprisingly dead. Not entirely, but noticeable.

Spent the arvo playing with temps and muffins on the airfryer. Now plotting all sorts of recipes. Anyone have faves? We have the ninja multicooker.

Edit: doesn't have to be muffins sorry, any multi cooker recipes will be explored

Cheese & gherkin.
Mixed berry muffins or apple and cinnamon but with lots of cinnamon and apple pieces.
Blueberry or apple cinnamon. I always liked the classics
Or you could do savoury. Cheese and bacon or mushroom/caramelised onion

Yay: got some exciting news about some uni study I've put off for years and can finally complete. I can exercise my brain in ways I never could at work

Nay: I kind of forgot about it because it was in limbo for months, so now I need to turbocharge my brain and think of research topics ASAP.

I'm starting to find the commute to one of my jobs is really a drag, especially in winter, and I don't get as much out of being in that office now that I have my other job... I think I'm going to make it a policy that I wfh one day every other week. If I'm going to be studying again, even very very part time, I definitely need to cut down on all that BS.

Alrighty. I'm awake. I don't want to be, but hey, I did it.

I's looking nice and sunny outside, I think it is dog walk time. 🐕

Edit: dog walk has been completed. It was very pleasant, although Mr Woof took offence at a couple of other dogs daring to walk on the same street as us and at one point attempted to chase a bicycle. Miss Meow has decided it is now her turn and has claimed lap rights.

I am super keen on Out of Sight in 4k arriving in the mail today or tomorrow. One of my favourite movies (and books) suave as hell George Clooney in 4k...yes please.

Also hanging for his new movie with Brad Pitt.

Ooh that looks fun. The early seasons of ER are streaming on Iview at the moment if you need more 90s George Clooney.

I've been craving one of those Jarrah coffees but I wasn't prepared to spend $7.50 because I'm a tight-arse. Good news is they are on special for $3.75 this week at Coles if anyone is interested. I got the Brazilian latte. It's not bad.

https://youtu.be/vsv5WUpHheg?si=X6Bg3gCBQXDV8y4j

are they any good?
- Yeah I think so. I don't have sugar in my tea and coffee so i can pick up if drinks are overly sweet and this wasn't. It was pleasant. I'd get it again for sure.

Breakfast 🍏🍎🍐🍊🍋🍈🫐🍓🍇🍉🍌🍒🍑🥭🍍🥥🥦🥑🫛🍆🍅🥝🥬🥒🌽🥕🥐🍠🫚🥔🧅🥯🍞🥖🥨🧀🧇🥞🧈🍳🥚🥓🥩🍗🍖🫓🍕🍟🍔🌭🥙🧆🌮🌯🥗🍲🍜🍝🥘🍛🍣🍱🥟🦪🍥🍘🍚🍙🐠🍤🪼🦀🐙 🍗🥮🍢🍡🍧🍰🧁🥧🍦🍨🎂🍮🍭🍬🍫🥜🌰🍪🍿🍯🥛☕️🍵🍺🍶🥤🧋🧃🥂🍷🥃🍸🍹🧉🔋

Heading to Melbourne on Thursday, does anyone know of any good used book stores? I believe the one in Warrandyte is still operating? And I know the one in the city in the basement (which is huge but didnt have anything I was looking for :S)

I'm staying in the Bundoora area but will have a car so travel isn't an issue.

Thanks.

It's probably a bit out of the way but For Pete's Sake in Queenscliff is my fave. Absolute chaos in there:
- Oh that's straight up L-space
- That's definitely up there on the Clutter Image Rating Scale though at least there's a clear passage lol.
- Looks like Bernard and Manny would be in there somewhere, too
Brunswick Secondhand Books is one I like to go to :)
https://maps.app.goo.gl/vogKEELLC67VVkt98
- Thank you :)
There's a really good one in Thornbury, on the 86 tramline. The 86 tramline goes out to Bundoora so you can maybe avoid all the parking hassles by getting on the tram. Name is Fully Booked and is at 824 High St Thornbury. Broad selection of interesting bookies on a variety of topics including some real weirdies. Don't bother with Perimeter Books down the street a little - not a good selection the last time I went in. Already Read at 98 Scotchmer St North Fitzroy is OK if you're looking for fairly mainstream books with a few eclectic selections. It's small but choice, and it's just around the corner from Piedmonte's supermarket (worth a visit too as it's unique). The real gem is Kay Craddock in Collins Street - exxy but an INCREDIBLE selection of books on every possible topic.
- Thanks. I will try to make it out to Fully Booked at the very least.

Called in at work earlier - the staff member who told me not to test if I didn't have symptoms was a lot more conciliatory. You wonder if someone Had A Word.
In other news, am slowly tackling the books etc. in short bursts. I realised that today it's technically one month since I moved in, thought given the extra day I spent cleaning at the old place it feels more like the following day was The Day.

I'm a zombie again,this last week I've been having troubles falling asleep and having a good one. I don't know what's going on, I know my mind is had a part to play a with it overthinking things and any unusual noise makes it worse.

I did find the cause of a low humming sound last night and it was my hot water system running, does make a bit of noise.

Anyway another day to see to get through. Let this be a quick day today but alas no dreams to report on today.

So many responsible bed times then there’s me still up and wired.

I would like to declare that I am now in bed and ready to fall asleep. I will not be responsible for any unnatural occurrences tonight.

bed time for me also
Good night everyone and good sleep 😘
Good bacon. I don't want any more of these weird dreams. For the sake of everyone: please sleep tight

I think it’s my turn tonight to have a poor nights sleep. I’m tired but wide awake at the same time.

Exciting workplace news, we seem to have reached an in-principal agreement on our EBA again (after the previous agreement unravelled a couple of months ago when our employer decided the agreement was different to what the unions and mediator all thought it was). It's still not great financially (thanks govt. for the 3% cap, really helps when inflation has been about 12% since the last pay rise a couple of years ago) but better than nothing. By the time it gets through the drafting and voting procees etc. is will probably be Sept. or Oct. before we actually get anything, but the sign on bonus and about 6 months back pay should make for a nice birthday present this year.

I napped and will pay the price