math checks out

It depends on their window.

If they include call volume data back to the Neolithic period in their calculations, then yes, call volumes are higher than average (the average being 0.001 calls per century, rounding up).

Pretty sure that's how they do the math.

Or just let's assume the phones are open 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. The average call volume would be drastically lower than during business hours
They'd just need to include the call volume for when they're closed. Open 9-5 but take the average over a whole 24 hour day.
It's even simpler. A strictly increasing series will always have element n be higher than the average between any element<n and element n.
Or in other words, if the number of calls is increasing every day, it will always be above average no matter the window used. If you use slightly larger windows you can even have some local decreases and have it still be true, as long as the overall trend is increasing (which you've demonstrated the extreme case of).
- It's even simpler. They just lie about and always say it's higher than average.

actually, it is. let me explain.

Let's simplify and say that there are peak hours and low hours. 100 people call during a peak hour, and 25 during a low hour. The chance of calling during a peak hour is 80%, since you are four times as likely to be one of the 100 rather than one of the 25.

The same effect means that you are almost always on planes and trains that are very full, even though every now and then they ride almost empty. Fewer people get to experience empty train rides by definition.

Of course this effect falls apart when your usage patterns differ from everybody else's. If everybody takes the train at rush hour, you might ride an empty one at noon. Or, if you call the hotline while everybody else is sleeping, you might have a better chance.

But yeah companies also just lie to make themselves look better lol

You sound like a guy who knows which part of a warplane to reinforce.
- Soo you're saying we should increase train frequency for times when they're empty?
The same goes for traffic. If you are experiencing traffic, you ARE traffic.
- This is why PT is OP. The bigger traffic is - the smaller intervals are.
Yes, this is exactly it. You are calling when other people are calling. You are the congestion.
If you call before 11 AM you will have a much better time, as will the customer service operators.
- Nah, they're overloaded at that time too

"Your call is very important to us... but not so important that we would actually do anything about it like hiring more representatives. This message will repeat every 5 minutes until you get frustrated and hang up."

The joke's on them - my time has very little value anyway
- Ugh I still have an air conditioner that was dead out of the box (bought it off season so didn't use it till summer...summer 2020)
  Tried a bunch of times to call in but "due to the pandemic" (what a fucking catchall for anti-consumer behavior...if a huge company hadn't figured out how to keep their call center staffed 5 months into it, then it's clearly intentional), nobody ever answered the call in the hour or so I'd wait on hold, several times.
  I eventually gave up and just ate the cost.
It doesn't help that a lot of companies outsource their call centers to third party vendors who only care about keeping the contract and not about the main company's customers.
- As opposed to the main company, which cares so much that they don’t bother taking your call directly
That's what it's all about, saving on overhead and the percentage of people who give up. Its not just corporations to, ever sign up for any public assistance? You WILL be denied to see if you will give up.
Maybe I will give up when the draft happens. The 1% can defend its own country, it's clearly not ours.

Interestingly, British consumer rights guru Martin Lewis is currently running a crowdsourced data gathering exercise on this in the UK.

The purpose being to identify if companies are purposefully playing these sorts of message no matter their actual call volume. (Which we all know they are, but this will help prove it)

https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/report-high-call-volumes/

Call the Sales/new accounts line and see how long it takes them to pick up.

Makes sense if the average includes the hours of zero calls when their phone line is closed

Especially if it's one of those awful ones that are only open for 5 minutes on the fifth Wednesday of the same month.
- During a leap year. Where Squirrel Appreciation Day falls on a Sunday.
- Read here: all utilities and banks in America. Oh you want to call and talk about something important regarding your natural gas bill or mortgage? Call between 10am and 4pm Monday-Friday to talk to one of our dedicated Sri Lankan representatives. Oh you work during that time? Good, that’s the point lol

I sell and build call centers for a living.

Yeah, it's fake lol. I mean maybe for some businesses it isn't fake, but usually clients would ask us to make it where "if there's more than X calls in queue, play the message". Turns out, there's always more than X calls in queue. It's not actually looking at the average.

It's kinda weird, some things are just always like that, some things clients want to add in because the average user expects it.

Someone wanted a repeat caller to get bumped to the front of the queue. Literally encouraging the "if I hang up and call back I'll get there sooner" people. Awful.

Stop putting people on hold, period. We have the technology to just call back when they’re at or near the top of the queue. If they miss their call, maybe their number gets priority for an hour or something. Either way, when I get put on hold, I mostly fantasize about murdering whoever set up that system.
- Yeah, it's a feature dubbed "queued callback". Saves your place, it's a pretty common request. Customers like Delta, Intuit, Pacific Life, Citibank, Dyson, all use the platform I build (Amazon Connect) and do stuff like that.
  Problem is, no one answers a call from an unknown number these days. Some phones are getting smart enough to recognize the number and show that it's a business, though that's more anecdotal evidence from my personal device (Pixel Fold with Google Fi carrier).
- And then they start playing horrible, distorted wait music.
- Take a number. Call back. Simple.
So the length of the queue is the expected average, right? Then, if you fall off that you are therefore the above average call in the message.. except the length of the queue probably doesn't actually much to do with any kind of average of the number of calls.

Also: “Please listen closely as our menus have recently changed.”

because I call the customer service line of any one company so much, that I have memorized their touch tone menu
9 months into my daily call to Maytag: Excuse me, babe. I have to walk into the other room so I can listen. Apparently, they've changed their phone menu.
- I had so many issues with Scottish Power that I pretty much did. Fucking useless company.

Once a year they receive negative a billion calls on a day that is later erased, and it really skews the average

Technically true If they close the phone line at night.

Yeah but it sounds a lot better than "We've pursued a policy of understaffing to save costs".

A steadily increasing curve would always be above its average, no?

Call center go brrrrrrrr?

Well, aaaactually, don't they have more than average calls half of the time?

Not necessarily. They could be constantly ever so lightly above the average value, but then once in a while, a really low value comes along and drags the average down. What you're thinking of is the median.
- Easily achievable if you only take calls in working hours. Then all working hours will have more than average calls per hour for a day.
- Maybe they're taking the average for each day over the whole 24 hours, but the call centre only operates from 9:30-4:30.
- Yeah, like at night it falls down to 0
That would be true for the median, but not for the average

Sure you can. If the average is over 24 hours, then any time the phone line is open they're getting higher than the average number of calls. X2 if you include weekends and holidays.

Found their lawyer

It's a higher average than the amount of calls they had 150 years ago.

Eehrm, acktually, the tweet is wrong 🤓

You can always be getting a result above average in a series of numbers as long as the nth number is significantly greater than the previous ones. For example, f(x) = x^2 would always be above average for every next number

if it is considering the average for all of history, then the rate of change would just have to be consistently greater than 0, right ?
I like the idea of an infinitely exponentially growing base of users seeking help from some poor call center
- This honestly sounds like it could be the basis for a novella
- It sounds like something that happens regularly during an update to software with a lot of users.

I'd imagine they include their off-hours in the 'averages'.

"So crazy that we're getting more calls when we're open than when we're closed!"

^probably this.

It’s the average they calculated they’d get in order to allocate the minimum budget and personnel to what the “normal” calculation would be and only inconvenience the customer when it rose about that amount.

The nomenclature I always hear is, "Experiencing a higher than expected call volume," and since no one can prove how low their expectations actually are there is no crack in which to insert the prybar of legal complaint.

"Marketing says our product is great and easy to use so we expect no support calls. Support is handled by our lead programmer Amir in India."

So look, guys, it's reaaaally easy:

If it isn't mandated, regulated, and enforced by law, assume the corporation is lying.

Bonus Wisdom Save: If a corp says you should do something, strongly consider doing the opposite.

If it isn't mandated, regulated, and enforced by law
and even then, dont be so sure...

The odds of ever needing to call customer service for a product or service weigh heavily in my decision to buy it.

And every support line needs a "direct to tier 2 support" option. I don't care if every caller chooses it. If I wanted tier 1 support I would be on the website.

In my company I directly escalate all issues no matter how small. They had to ask me to stop that after I escalated an issue due to an unplugged power cord.

....sorry we're continuously experiencing higher number of calls than what is average for other companies.

It's older math, Sir, but it checks out.

I am experiencing a lower IQ than average. Does that equate? motherfucker ?

If "your call is important to them" they would hire enough people to answer the phone.

I got 47 calls in the span of the morning alone today. I am always higher than average.

it is the theoretical average which is miscalculated all the time

The average is for a good, functioning call center. Their understaffed shitshow is experiencing more calls in relation to amount of staff than they are prepared to.

If everyone you measure the number of calls you get is higher than the previous measurement then it is easily possible. Y'know day 1 you get one phone call, day 2 two, etc. Than you will consistently have higher volume than average... Technically

It's still better to hear this lying message and then be kicked off than when they have you talk to the robot that tries to understand what you want but can't and then ends up telling you what movies are playing right now in Singapore for some reason.

they'll warn you 10 times about how high the call volume is and then there's literally zero wait

BRAINSANITY

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BRAINSANITY
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Have you ever played Magic the Gathering Arena? Because they use the same algorithm I swear on everything I hold dear and valuable to me.

Actually you can. If you get 10 calls a day and then only 1 day 9 calls the average is a little less than 10, which means most of the time you do experience more than average.

He didn't say "most of the time" though. He said "always."
“….so please hold onto that phone with your technically above average number of hands and we’ll help you soon.”