Vitamins are good but idk....

There's a myth that carrots are good for your eyesight, but what's interesting is that carrots are actually really good for your memory. I lost one up my ass when I was 12 and never forgot that moment.

I think in the future, you should use the version with "my uncle stuck one up my ass when I was 12 and never forgot about it."
It's a better punchline imo.
- What about being sexually abused by an older family member makes it a better punchline?

There are no bites in that carrot. I'd avoid touching it

Could have just been washing it for later consumption. Best to see if it’s still warm.
- Smell it ... if you dare.

I don't understand why people leave their sex toys in the shower. One time when I was a teenager I was masturbating in the shower and accidentally got cum on my sister's dildo. I had to scrub that thing with all the soaps, bleach, toilet cleaner and just everything soap related I could get without anyone finding out. I guess I got lucky because no one ever found out and she didn't mysteriously get pregnant afterwards.

Get another carrot and when they come home just start chompping down on it nonchalantly. Total power move to establish your dominance.

Cucumbers are better for...uhh...vitamin D? idk

IDK, this carrot looks rich in vitamin D

I'd eat it. I don't mind leftovers and I hate waste.

it might be that it wasn't used for eating

No one does, judging by the look of that one. 🤫

Give it a nibble. You might like it.

This is remarkably common among visitors to A&E.

Have you seen the price of dildos? I can't blame people for getting creative with household objects!
Accident and emergency people?
- I think it is accident and emergency wards

It might go well in a fresh salad or stew.

I don't think that's for eating

Never heard of a Shower Orange? Just a veggie version of that I imagine... I'm sure...

Bugs Bunny

Showers are for oranges or IPAs.

Nobody.

Someones in the mood for a vitamin alright…. Vitamin D!!!! Lmfao