Trump Orders Musk to Get Air Force One Finished Quickly, Even If It Isn't Fully Safe Yet

Some Boeing workers could be real American heroes right about now.
- Quality Assurance is really over rated. DOGE should cut those fuck faces first for freedom fighters sake.
- In Japan, heart surgeon. Number one. Steady hand. One day, yakuza boss need new heart. I do operation. But, mistake! Yakuza boss die. Yakuza very mad. I hide in fishing boat, come to America. No English, no food, no money. Darryl give me job. Now I have house, American car, and new woman. Darryl save life. My big secret: I kill yakuza boss on purpose. I good surgeon. The best!
- A real team effort if the air traffic controllers join the effort too
- By royal decree, the children of maintenance workers are to travel in the rear of the aircraft. /s
- I'm reminded of that one time the entire Polish government was killed in a plane crash in Smolensk.
The worst thing that could happen would be nothing going wrong.
They should just screw the schedule and get on the plane right now
Well, the BEST that could happen would be for it to crash into the side of a mountain while both of them are on it. Bonus points if Vance, Johnson, and Stephen Miller are on it too.
I hear duct tape is good for holding wings on, in a pinch.
- You joke, but you have no idea how much speed tape gets used on the average plane...
probably repurpose/ reused used spacex, tesla vehicle materials

I'm pretty handy with a roll of construction tape if they need help.

An underpaid Boeing engineer has a chance to accidentally do one of the funniest, most earth saving oopsies of all time.

I don’t think they let the VP travel in the same plane at the same time so probably not as earth saving as you’d expect. Definitely very funny though.
- Well, there are two planes being rushed...
- Good think Skum isn't VP. There's no law to say he and that corpse he keeps company in the oval office can't fly and die together.

I think glitch McCuntel has a pilot’s license. Let him and Jesus take the wheel.
- Full Self Flying has got everything under control
- Maybe one of those OceanGate guys who didn't turn into a fine pink mist can hook him up with a MadCatz controller
The irony would be delicious
The AP will be the only media that survives.

If Musk can fly a rocket, Trump reportedly told associates, per the NYT, he can probably fly an airplane.

You guys are all such a joke.

Sucks millions or billions will die when you blame the plane crash on Canada or Denmark or Ukraine.

Or DEI … again
- Has no one made the gif from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas when Dr. Gonzo opens the salt shaker of cocaine and subtitled it "Did you see what ~~god~~ DEI did to us?"
Is that pile of punctuation another one of elons kids?
or Mexico, or Panama, or the UK, or everyone except for the AFD in Germany.
The US is looking awfully lonely right now

Please, God, if you're listening, do something really really funny with this.

"Didn't you people learn from the Holocaust that I either don't exist or am evil if I do?"
- Not evil, indifferent.
Holy shit so many desperate prayers in one thread
I think they can be convinced to pause their game of Jenga or Connect Four for a few minutes of structural integrity or engine failure
The Big _Man .. Big Entity has Big Priorities, you know?
With the recent history in aviation, I'm going to be praying like mad. Please tell me they're still Boeing products?

Boeing, Musk, and a rushed time frame? I've rarely seen a better recipe for disaster. Maybe we are lucky and Trump and his cronies just fall from the sky even on the first flight.

It would be a nice reminder that a disaster isn't the same thing as a tragedy.
- I don't know, President Vance sounds like a tragedy to me...
And don't forget gutting the FAA.
- The only job the FAA has with regards to Airforce One is to keep the sky free if AO is up there. Might be a problem, though.
The worst that can happen is the plane falls out of the sky and some how Trump survives while everyone else dies.
- Well, he is no angel, so the chance that he would fly is neglectable.

If Musk can fly a rocket, Trump reportedly told associates, per the NYT, he can probably fly an airplane.

He's never been on one of his rockets. He's too chickenshit. Fuck Bezos, but at least he had the balls to go up on a Blue Origin rocket. If you think Musk is ever going to Mars, you're wrong.

he knows his rockets are shoddy at best, why would he. has he ever driven his own teslas?

trump killing himself by using Musk to skirt safety precautions so he can feel special riding around in a shiny new ego tube might be enough to get me wondering if god exists.

"Trump dies in fatal Boeing crash, after rushing its production" is a headline id love to see

"Trump dies in fatal Boeing crash, after rushing its production" is a headline id love to see
After rushing it's production and firing all the FAA safety inspectors.
That can be improved by inserting "and Musk" after the first word.
- Don't forget JD Vance!
- please_god_so_fucking_funny.png
  Please, I can only get so hard
Maybe if we all concentrate hard enough we can will our reality back on track and make this happen. Somewhere around 2016 someone at CERN started a new experiment and ever since we've been in the wrong universe, through concerted efforts of enough of Earth's latent psychics maybe we can push this world back towards the correct timeline.
Or maybe make things worse.
- It does feel like alternative history.
- Or maybe make things worse.
  I'm willing to take that chance.
Where can I donate funds to this cause?
There would be a celebration in the streets. Doubly so if Musk was also onboard.

Would be even better if they got boeing to help too. Would be just the best plane ever, such a great plane. Other people would look at it (as it explodes in a fireball in the sky) and say wow what a beautiful thing
We know you can make it happen God, we've seen you do it with that skit-of-skits billionaire sub thing God. We know you just need them to all willingly line up God. Well they're lining up, God! They're willingly lining up! It's your time to shine God!
- John 14:13
  And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

Finally, a Trump order I agree with

A boy can only dream ;)

Please let them both ride it together, please please please.

And take the new FBI director, I hear he likes plane rides.

Trump is completely right on this issue. Despite the fact his plane is produced by a company plagued with consistent quality control issues I believe this should be rushed into service as quickly as possible. In fact, I agree that the anyone including temp workers should be allowed in to get this thing in the air today.

I'll even help.
All those lights and dials and displays in the cockpit take the pilot's attention off of flying. Don't need 'em.

Oh wow, what's the worst that could happen, they skip safety and defense features and the plane gets shot down and the president killed? Oh man, that would be horrible, just horrible!

It's good they chose Boeing to build it lol
And will blame liberals. Vance would probably call for open violence on any non white christans
- As liberals are the other half of the same coin, they are responsible for at least half the horrible shit that happens in the country. Why not give them the blame for killing the president though, it could be the one useful thing they do in the last several years!

"Never interrupt your opponent while he is in the middle of making a mistake."

SpaceX and BOEING engineers. You know what to do, right? GET TO WORK!

please_god_so_fucking_funny.png

Yes. Make him hasten the process. And have both of them on all flights.

DOGE needs to get rid of those pesky safety regulations holding up the plane.

I hear getting rid of QA and QC makes the job go quicker while being cheaper.
- I can confirm, it does indeed.
- Quick Actions, Quite Cheap
It's the pressure differential between the top and bottom of the wings that hold up the plane

I hear Boeing is great at getting planes finished remarkably quickly...>.>

doors optional
i mean the weight of a buddy can suddenly" be cut in half midair"

OceanGate!

I was gonna say, hopefully Trump's up for some deep sea exploration next!
Next will be SkyGate. The year the GateVatar will be born.
funny thing stockton used "used defective airplane parts to make that sub"

Ordinarily, the implied result would be sad due to the press corps flies on air Force one as well, but now that they've replaced all reputable news outlets with Fox clones... Let's do this!

The only bad part about the obvious outcome here is that we'll have the 9/11 and JFK conspiracy theorist types jerking themselves raw about how it was absolutely a conspiracy to assassinate him.

Some things are worth it.
- Agreed, I just hope the flight crew has a trapdoor with a rack of chutes somewhere, they don’t deserve to be punished for being good Airmen
Yeah, they'll say that no matter how he dies. "Deep state operatives made him eat that fatal cheeseberder on the toilet!"
- He'll get the pox and they'll have to cook up some kind of "ultra super duper deep state, for real this time" to blame it on
- Or, "He died because the CIA has a fatal colonic catastrophe ray".
- No matter how he dies, there will be a contingent insisting he isn't actually dead.
  Some of those insane QAnon people think JFK is still alive. Not JFK, Jr. JFK. Who was born in 1917.
Would it be so bad if it was?
So...

Dear Boeing,

I know i said i wanted world peace. Hear me out.

IMO, the current administration is the biggest threat to democracy in the history of this nation, and right now its PR is being lead by a clown that paints his face orange each morning.

The right wants him replaced just as much as the left -- and preferably quickly enough that Vance might get 3 terms. So be careful what you wish for, because right now Trump is actually doing a phenomenal job of fueling outrage over project 2025 agendas. Someone with more intellect will be better able to mask their radical nature.

He would at most get 2.49999 terms. You have not read the 22nd amendment. You can't get 3 terms aside from repeatedly being elected as VP and the primary president losing office 4+ times.
- it’s funny and concerning you think trump cares what a piece of parchment says
- I said "3 terms" because his timespan in office would exceed the expected ~8 year limit of the 2 term cycle. But, before you reply, I do understand your logic, so please don't.
Threat to democracy world wide.

Yes please

The motto of project development:

Fast
Cheap
Good

You can only choose two.

trump is choosing fast and cheap.

So, nothing new for Little t.
- Some might say "low t".
trump is choosing fast and cheap
Don't give me hope.

Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please Please

yay sabrina!

Please have Boeing do this. Focus on the doors.

Could Musk be useful for something after all?

Man I hope Elon works expeditiously don’t wanna waste any time

Man, it's wild to me to put the guy who wants your throne in charge of making your plane, but there you are. No matter what, I just hope Musk puts the same care and thoughtfulness he puts in all his manufacturing endeavors to the task.

Beside all the jokes that we want the president and trump to ride that plane together... He's on a mission to save as much money as possible and then he wants two new airplanes for himself???

So technically they were commissioned during the Obama era, Trump 1 threatened to cancel the program if the budget went over 4 billion, then Boeing appeased him.
Also the reason they were commissioned to save money. Aging aircraft are a bitch to operate. That's why cheap airlines like Ryanair only run new planes.
Also there are already two of them. I suppose one is probably a backup?
Also, fun fact, technically any plane that the US president is currently flying on, is at that moment, Air Force One.
1 for him to golf, and 1 for secret meeting with putin/russians.

The less safe the better.

You want Vance? That's how you get Vance.

Vance might be smarter then Trump but there's not a chance MAGA coalesces around him if Trump dies. Without that, congressional R's won't bend the knee so readily.
- After Hitler built a cult for himself, some senior nazi officials tried to assassinate him in operation Valkyrie. They didn't think they would be able to retain popularity without him unless he died a martyr, in which case whoever took over would be able to use it as a rallying cry. If trump is assassinated, that's exactly what Vance will do.
- I just don't believe that, sorry. Nothing special about Vance, I just think all anyone would have to do is lean into Trump as a martyr. Even a freak accident would be painted as the work of radical leftists, and Vance or whoever would capitalize.
Vance is evil, Vance is moderately competent. Vance is also unable to muster the will to coup. Vance is to trump what Biden was to Obama. Associated and acceptable.
Trump as a Putin sock puppet or Vance as a Putin sock puppet.
Still, it seems like a reasonable hope before we go out in the streets with pitchforks
- Vance doesn't have the personality to effectively order the ~~lynch mob~~ Republican voters around

Hurry Elon, hurry. Godspeed.

I like where this is going.

Oh man. Please. Please.

Not that it matters. Another bumbling moron is next in line. Then after that a religious zealot.

But for my own satisfaction....pleeeease.

Finally a positive news :)

Yes, please. Make it super fast, and super shitty so it crashes the first time Trump uses it.

This could be amazing.

You know what, go for it on this one. I’m sure it will be delivered with the same care and quality as the cybertruck

I'm sure they're good enough right now, send 'em on over.

I mean, realistically, we would probably be just fine with Air Force One having no security systems at all. Like, the likelihood that someone is going to attack Air Force One probably isn't all that high, and you can also mitigate that by choosing where to fly the thing.

And as long as Trump understands any risk that he exposes himself to...I mean, it's not as if a future President is required to use the Trump-era Air Force One. It's really just him and people during his administration.

Most national leaders don't have anything like the kind of protection that the President does.

Now, granted, most also haven't had four assassination attempts against them be intercepted in past months, but I'm also not sure that shooting down Air Force One is the easiest way to assassinate the President, either.

EDIT: And I think that it's also worth considering that some of our norms for modern Presidential travel were developed during the Cold War, in an era of potential nuclear conflict where launch-on-warning was part of nuclear doctrine. In that scenario, the President needs to travel around with the nuclear football, and a decapitation strike might be an important early first move in a nuclear war.

But we haven't relied on launch-on-warning for a long time. The President is a lot more expendable in the context of dealing with an opposing nuclear first strike today; it's the SLBM arsenal used to counter that now.

Today, if a hostile state kills the President, it might produce disruption for a short period...but that disruption probably isn't going to buy all that much, strategically.

Today, if a hostile state kills the President, it might produce disruption for a short period…but that disruption probably isn’t going to buy all that much, strategically.
Can't possibly be any more disruption than what the current president is causing... So I'd call it a win if he was taken out.
I always thought Air Force One needed security to prevent terrorists from taking the president hostage and forcing them to release more terrorists. But, our current president already lets a bunch of terrorists go like the Taliban and Jan Sixers.
Most politicians are fine riding a bicycle to work, ride a train or a normal car, just fly a normal ass airline, things like that. But americans need them to ride in a tank because they love to kiss the feet of their celebrity overloards. I mean putin obviously can't or kim jong-un can't which says a lot.

Grim Reaper / Death / Azrael : are fucking trying to tempt me?

Oh! Wouldn't that be a nice resolution...

Put the President and Trump on an unsafe plane and sent that bitch on a nice long flight over the ocean.

Oh... I am loving this! I hope he puts it on a rush job to be completed and in the air with Trump, and his whole cabinet on board within 1 month.

EDIT

I hope we come up with a US Navy 1 submersible too, built by Elon! Trump can get in the idiot squisher too!

SF1 get hit by de rock hoppa

Seems like an opportunity for Musk to create plausible deniability for taking the throne.

It's not a death threat if you're supporting their death wish.

Yay

the rare occasion on which I agree with him. I think they should get it done super quick and take every shortcut possible! what could go wrong anyway?

Imagine reading the news these days and telling Boeing to slack on testing with your new private jet.

We need a sky god to start making our annual billionaire sacrifice too.

The gods of the deep need some of that, too. Titan was a worthy sacrifice.
- Why not both?

Look do you really need to tighten every screw? Maybe skip every 8th one or use the aluminum screws instead of the steel ones - then you can carry more screws.

I have lots of ideas how they could speed this up.

Send it

Two new Air Force One

Two new

One

REEEEEEE, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE

Any plane the President is on board is designated Air Force One. I know you’re half joking, but
- It's not just half

Can't wait to see his memoir "Half Assed, The Trump Legacy"

Just throw a door plug in that sucker, Boeing

Yes, please, let Musk take control of the project and cut all the corners and ignore regulation to rush production on something that could kill the president and his entire entourage if it ever fails. Please do it!

sounds like a chance for the world. boing is doing so well in recent years. get all republicans on that plane. put bannon in. put all other friends of epstein on that plane and have it tour the world.

I am actually ok with this

I have no complaints…

I really hope this ages like milk

I hope it ages like jet fuel, fire, and hot metal.

No, it is not a Boeing 737 in my pants. It’s just really good news.

Does musk lead Boeing or whoever is making Air Force one?

When has leadership and authority ever been a concern? His office is just a repurposed United States Digital Services office they kicked everybody out of and renamed because they didn't have the power to actually create a new office.

🤞

sounds like Cybair Force One X in the making.

I read that as Crybaby Force One X.

Yes. Please make them as unsafe as possible.

LOL, like fElon knows jack shit about any of this.

Sending thoughts and prayers … to Nidhogg.

This is starting to feel like someone's playing a joke on me and the whole world is on it.

Could we have all of them fly at the same time?

Wouldn't be the first time for high ranking officials to die that way. It happened at least once in the soviet union.

It happend in Poland in 2010 too :)

Gonna label a cinder block with the presidential seal and paper wings, then throw it at him.

Can Musk use rebuilt engines from the plane that crashed in Toronto? Thanks

Good.

Wake up babe, Elmo Turnip and Boeing are doing a thing. I'll go make the popcorn...

Isn't that his MO anyway? I would have expected nothing less.

Get into the plane

Stranded astronauts: nah, that's still too low!

Musk orders Trump not the other way around

Sounds great.

Oh no. Quick. Someone stop him.

Yes please, can't wait to see the result of that

Nothing could go wrong with that, and i mean LITTERALLY nothing.

🙂

Isn’t musk too busy taking credit for being the ceo of Tesla? And space x and the boring company, solar city,, oh yeh and twitter. Oh and wasn’t he supposed to be going through every social security payment? How will he find the time to jerk off on twitter while fixing Air Force one and all the faa safety standards. He must really be a genius (hardest fucking sigh in the universe)