What your coffee preparation method says about you

Slackware
As simple as Arch, but more stable.
The design is almost 100 years old and doesn't need daily filter updates.

But also it burns the coffee
- Only when you use it wrong.
- It does not. A regular percolator does, as it circulates the coffee back into the boiling water, unlike a moka pot, where the finished coffee does not sit at the bottom close to the heat, but in the top compartment. You should take it off the stove as soon as it’s done to avoid getting the finished coffee back to a boil or overextracting the coffee but if you do it right, they make really good coffee. There are even some versions that feature a valve, so the coffee is cooked at a higher pressure, getting it a little closer to espresso and producing a nice –albeit short lived – crema.
- Tbh confused how you even managed to burn the coffe with this, as it is just evaporating water that filters through the coffee above - like did you put the coffee in the bottom part? 🤔
- I've used a moka pot nearly every day for 10 years, never burned my coffee with it. I'm not even sure how you'd do that unless you just completely ignore it when it's done and leave it on the stove forever.
Do these work ok on a glass top stove?
- Yes. Although I recommend getting the stainless steel version. It can work on anything even an induction hob. It’s the one I take travelling.
- Yes

I use this:

Except my stove top is electric.

I use LinuxMint by the way.

That's just pretentious, man. You do that for the musafir but there's no way you use that impossible to clean cezve on a daily basis.
Here, use this:
A teaspoon for every little cup of water. Heat it fast until it simmers, stir like crazy for two minutes, pour, then let it froth slightly, then pour again.
I use Arch and Debian depending on what I think is easiest.
- Thank goodness poor openSUSE got some coffee here
- I prefer mine with chocolate actually, but I do like Arabic coffee with cardamom.

Fedora would be a French Press.

Reliable, consistent, hard to screw up, broad information online on how to use one.

That's what I use, it's so much simpler. And I only use the press because my wife refuses to buy me instant coffee, otherwise that's what I'd drink, cause it's so about ease for me. A press is easier to clean
- Beware the diterpenes

I prepare my coffee in a cup, and drink it with grounds. No milk, no sugar.

I am an embedded developer.

Sometimes when I'm too lazy to boil water, I leave coffee grounds with cold water in a cup overnight, the coffee is strong enough in the morning, and no need to wait for it to cool.

You've discovered cold brew!
I never have time for waiting for the kettle to boil so I do this on the daily.

Me, a Slackware user: eating raw coffee beans by themselves

Excuse me but I'm a Debian user and I'm not using the same system since 10 years.

More like 30 years.

NixOS would be like brewing coffee with laboratory equipment and then setting it up for automation.

Well, dammit, now I gotta go try NixOS. Gee, thanks for sending me down the rabbit hole, like I have time for yet another one!
The device you're looking for is called a coffee syphon. Like this one from hario https://www.hario-canada.ca/products/hario-syphon-tca-2
…in a container

I do French Press, where does that put me?

I think in this graphic I would replace the Fedora pour-over thing with a French Press because they already did pour-over with Arch.
And then Android is a Starbucks cup.
- And then Android is a Starbucks cup.
  That does Android a huge disservice. Android is a well made Nescafe. It's not the coffee of your choice, but it is stable and reliable, and doesn't make a fuss if you pour other coffees into it.
- The pour-over thing is called Chemex just FYI. It's supposed to be different than regular pour-over. I use Fedora...
- That fits. Just like Android, Starbucks coffee is well made, by someone who isn't you.
  The quality of the final product is still in question though.
I'm French Press and I use Fedora.
PopOS
- I feel like with french press being all manual PopOS isn't the right fit.

Aeropress gang representing.
I run debbie kde plasma x11 btw

Aeropress and Fedora! Apparently I should use Chemex instead
Aeropress gang, but running mint.
- Same. "Works pretty well out of the box but I have the option to fuck it up"
- Samesies
I was gonna say, how do you know an aeropress/nixos user - they'll tell you. But Debian works too 😂

So what's a cup of instant equivalent? Don't tell me it's Windows.

ChromeOS? lol
Windows is Monster. Will give you your caffeine fix, does what is supposed to do, but will slowly destroy your body.
Mac os. Windows wouldn't be coffee at all
- Nah, the macOS equivalent would be going to starbucks
WSL2
I just need to run this script and I need it fast

Linux Mint (Moccamaster) it just chugs along and makes the best coffee possible. Fast and reliable.

$400 for a drip machine?
Must be a Mac user.
- 270€ on Amazon here, but you sure got a chuckle out of me 😁
  1 litre of delicious coffee in 5 minutes is hard to beat though.
- It does make good drip coffee though. But best drip coffee imo comes from pour-over, but that can be less convenient and consistent than an automatic machine.
- Its not a drip machine though, it's more like a Chemex that doesn't require you to do the pouring.
The analogy works well since its Debian-like, but way more awesome. The Moccamaster is great. As easy to use as a drip, but makes better coffee than the Chemex.
Why is this so accurate (even though I've tried many other distros and coffee makers)

I normally enjoy engaging with this type of blatant stereotyping....but this? Treating Gentoo like it's a real thing people use irl?

I use Nixos. And I trink tea.

I like hot chocolate and use Ubuntu 😋

i uh.

I don't drink coffee.

Oh I see, you enjoy licking the boot of Big Tea...
(yes im joking)
- haven't gotten around to tea yet. Perhaps someday in the future though.

You know what, this is really accurate. I won't touch Ubuntu or a pod machine. I will use an old percolator, if necessary, but it's not something I would ever pick over other options. I also bounce between other distros just as often as I bounce between coffee brewing methods!

I wonder where openSUSE falls on this paradigm? Moka pot, maybe?

#TeamV60

But Mac user, sorry.

V60 is my main, but also have a french press and a manual espresso machine (Flair Pro 2).
Mac user as well.
- How do you like your flair? I've been considering getting one for a while now but haven't been able to pull the trigger yet

Hey, I'm no Ubuntu user! ... I'm a linux mint user. /j

Very happy to see myself correctly represented. I use a single cup pourover, BTW

I drink instant coffee. Black.

you have four drip coffees and NO French or Turkish? no instant? no teas? laaaaaame. it was already lame with the computer nerd shit but LAAAAME. not even a fkin percolator?

?
Downvoted for lumping tea in with coffee. How dare you.

Would drinking tea be a haiku user

I don't drink coffee and I don't have a computer, so I guess it's accurate!

KDE is an office coffee machine with billion options

It reminds me of most modern microwaves that have bazillion different options and buttons, meanwhile most people just use like the +30 sec button, stop and maybe just maybe the defrost button.

What if I modded my Keurig to use coffee grounds instead of wasteful k cups? I use Manjaro btw.

As somone who just made the move from Mint to Fedora, I hate how accurate that is for me as that was my first thought when I deciding what to install

Yes, I'm a Fedora user.

And yes, I own the Fedora type coffee thingy.

But I only use Fedora because of the great atomic variants, and I only own that thingy because I don't drink coffee, and it's a cheap way to still offer some to guests.

I left Debian but Debian didn't leave me, it seems...

What exactly is the arch one doing? That looks simple and awesome and I hate cleaning my French press.

It's simply, filter paper, coffee mug. With plastic cone thingy in between to hold the filter paper above the cup
It's the same as Debian really, it just looks more primitive.
Oh my goodness you are in for a treat! Pourover coffee is in my opinion the best way to prepare a cup. Get yourself a v60, and the paper filters that go with it, watch a James Hoffman video on proper v60 technique, and enjoy. It should actually give a cleaner cup (less residue) than the French press.
It IS simple and awesome, and it can be cheap af. Got mine from a dollarstore 2 decades ago and I still love it more than any other coffee prep.
It's essentially a funnel with a flat base. I just cut the bottom of one of mine to be more flat and works just as well.
- I am lazy and hate cleaning so this is cool to me
I have one of those for camping but never actually got to trynit
Look into V60 pourover or Aeropress in that case

I use a Chemex, and I have used Fedora. I'm on Garuda now, which is my favorite, which is Arch based but with extra stuff, so the Chemex makes a lot of sense (fancy pour-over).

Ubuntu is instant coffee.

Yeah; that's generally what those Kuerig things make. Individually packaged cups of instant coffee. All the machine does is heat up water to mix with the instant mix in the pod.

Forgot cold brewers.

I guess french pressers use BSD.

Percolator: Mandrake user. Holy god someone's still using that old thing.

Windows User: Instant coffee and a kettle (like 99% of people in the world), just walk up and get what you want done in 2 minutes or less, regardless of where the setup is or who owns it

oooh i have that exact espresso machine (except they’ve mirrored it)! it’s a rancilio silivia… i use fedora and debian with a pinch of al2

My coffee preparation method seems to be closest to the Ubuntu user. I use Pop OS and my coffeemaker is Philips HD7769/00 with an inbuilt bean grinder.

Looseleaf earl grey and 20 years of debian.

Can confirm. I'm a Debian user and use a Cuisinart grind and brew I've had for ages. It's actually the second of two of the same model after the first broke following years of loyal service.

Then what does malt coffee say about me?

I prefer adderall over caffeine, and I use mint btw.

Or maybe use Ubuntu so you have time to make the espresso?

Yeah that seems pretty on point (espresso maker).

Isn't the coffee prep between Fedora and Arch the same?

Also what says it about me when I use those and the Ubuntu machine?

Oh... Yeah my raspberry and my server run Ubuntu.

My surface uses Fedora

And my computer uses EndeavourOS.

Yeah that checks out.

Fedora and Arch are both pour-over, which is a subset of drip coffee. Would be nice to pick distros that really show that family tree.

I use Debian and use a French French press since 9 years ^^

Also French press (this one) here. It’s great for hot coffee, but I prefer to use it for cold brew. Course grind and let it sit in there for almost a day at room temperature (I put either plastic wrap or an upside down plate to avoids surprise ingredients). Then plunge and pour into a cup for drinking and a storage container for the fridge.
Mostly Xubuntu but also SteamOS and EndeavourOS with KDE Plasma DE.
- Does it affect the taste too much if you put the top on with the plunge down just a little bit? That's what I usually do when doing cofe, but then it's just five minutes so probably doesn't affect as much.

CentOS would be an empty coffee tin that still smells like coffee.

DeLonghi Magnifica EVO.

apple mac?

https://youtu.be/_iw9LOL0Vlc

Nah, apple would be refusing to learn anything about coffee or coffee making and drive to a store to have the arch user do stuff for them (Philz coffee if you aren't from the bay area)
V60 with chemex filters … good combo.

How insightful

I use an off-brand clone of a Nespresso machine with off-brand pods. Hannah Montana Linux?

Uboontu. It's the exact same as Ubuntu but you get Ubunto Pro equivalent for cheaper.

As a french press user I put the beans in the press vessel, start the water kettle (double checking that water is in), forget about it all so water will have to be reheated, pour water over beans, forget about it all for 15-83 minutes and then finally get to enjoy my coffee.

Will drink it all. And wish I had made more.

What OS for me?

You put whole beans in your French press?

Changes by shitty apps wanting to start with windows and register for context menus.
I've had windows machines run fine for 10 years, and some having trouble at 6 months. The difference being the problematic machines I've made tons of changes, installed tons of risky apps.
I've also run registry cleaners as a test, and it's made a world of difference.
In short: crappy apps make windows run poorly.

What if i use AmogOS?

You will have to film yourself preparing coffee
Edit: and upload it on YouTube