IT’S THE FEDS!

My buddy once had an epic hydroponic set up going in his garage. One day the garage door went up for some reason. Guess someone saw it and called the cops. They went full on raid of his garage only to find some of the best fucking vegetables in the city. He said they were actually visibly upset that he only had veggies

That's terrifying. Those stupid cops will kill your baby with a flashbang, shoot your dog and then murder you becauese you were holding the TV remote during their veggie raid.
Even if he really was growing some pot plants, it shouldn't even be a big deal.
Cops get pissed when their hunches are wrong because they still believe the hunch, they just think you got away with it
Not weed, but I was going to HS prom in the 80’s and my date had a bottle of sparkling grape juice she showed me when we parked. 3 cop cars came out of nowhere, zoomed up and got us out of the car. I was laughing knowing it was non alcoholic. But the look on the cops faces was priceless. Just total disappointment. They all had to look at the bottle just to make sure. Hadn’t thought about that in years until your comment.
It still blows my mind that a plant is illegal. One with medicinal uses, no less. What will they think of next? Banning sunshine?
- If black people like the sun too much, probably.
Fucking carrots??
- LoL, this just reminded me of the movie "Shoot 'em Up" with Clive Owen's character being a stone cold badass while munching on carrots he grows in his garage.
  BTW, though it is a cartoonishly ridiculous action flick, "Shoot 'em Up" is a terrifically fun movie to watch.
- Hah! Best comment I’ve ever seen
"No fruits?????"

Uh i didn't know you could grow servers. I assumed they were assembled in factories, being machines and all.

Does anybody have experience with this process? Where do you get the seeds from? What soil do they grow in? Should you water them, or not (considering them being machines and all)? Do they need sunlight exposure? And if yes, how much of it?

Being kernels i assume it's akin to corn propagation
They grow in high-silicate soil.
Only the certified organic servers are grown. Usually hydroponics are involved as the soil tends to jam the coolers. Sunlight is only necessary if they're solar powered.
I’m no expert but I heard you can compile the kernels to grow them yourself

Worst that's happened to me is that I was detained and questioned by the cops while they investigated my "grow operation". I had some old school grow lights in my kitchen window for my window sill plants and a potted hibiscus outside on my deck.

It's sad that the cops couldn't immediately tell the difference between hibiscus and weed nor were they aware that people can grow indoor house plants under those pink/purple fluorescent lights which for sure wouldn't be strong enough to grow marijuana to begin with.

It's also funny that my neighbor at the time actually was growing weed on his front patio, and they never seemed to notice in the 5 or so years I lived next door.

This is because "The Drug War" is just a device for political persecution of the people that whoever is in power wants to harass or outright remove. It's the Nixon Playbook and it's not just Republicans who use it.
- It's more basic than that as well. Cops assume that if you arent hiding something then it's fine. In a very real sense cops are looking for criminals not crimes. If you act like they think criminals do they're going to be a pain in your ass at best and possibly even pressure you into confessing to crimes because "they know a criminal when they see one".
  But the inverse is also true. If you break the law while acting like you have every right to do what it is you're doing, you can often get away with it so long as the cops aren't tipped off. Someone owns that bike, some people lose the keys to their locks, if someone isn't hiding that theyre cutting a bike lock most of the time that person owns the bike, and if they confidently say it's their bike, it's not like a cop is going to check or even have a way to check unless somethings off (unless they think you look like a criminal). A potted plant in the front yard is the same.

In what country can you get raided due to high electricity usage?

US
- A judge would sign a search warrant because of a power bill? Damn
USA
- Land of the free
Happened not long ago that, for the same reason, police raided a tomography & XRay clinic. Guess what, an MRI needs serious power to work...
- If I remember right, one cop brought his rifle in which got sucked into the MRI machine.
  Even the warrant was based on a cop lying iirc. The basis boiled down to something like "energy use and tinted windows", which, you know... Medical imaging and patient privacy.
  Idiots and asswipes.

Disguise your grow op as a server farm... We're "crypto mining"

You've never been at a grow farm, have you? You can disguise it as much as you like, you are never getting rid of 100% of the smell.
- It really depends on the size. There’s home grows all over the place nobody ever smells because tents and negative pressure and activated charcoal filters work. I’ve grown in my house in a very illegal state and felt fine having ac techs come and work right outside that room while flowering.

I once flipped on all my synthesizers at the same time, sparking a main plug (I cannot reach) so I had to call the building owner. An electrician had to come fix it.

2 weeks later a guy was standing at my door unannounced, wanting to measure everything and check my rooms for a potential weed farm.

I now turn them on in small groups to prevent it happening again.

There definitely have been a case where the police, observing things with thermal cameras from a helicopter (for it is in the US where this tale happened), observed some house with a highly suspicious heat signature. ...Some dude's crypto mining operation.

Well, that was definitely indirectly drug related.

In theory it's supposed to be unconstitutional to use FLIR on a house without a warrant to find evidence. In practice though, I'm sure they can easily ruin someone's life for a while based off of "heat signatures". This isn't even mentioning what they could get away with if the Feds are involved. Who even knows anymore?
- Can't use it to find evidence or get a warrant, but absolutely do use it to figure out who to target/where to look for evidence.
  Herring Vs. United States set the de facto legal basis that allows for this sort of evidence laundering.
ik there's a lot of drug money in crypto but the majority of it isn't that. Bitcoin didn't get a 2.1 trillion dollar market cap though selling weed, a ton of that is from institutions like banks and corporation buying it up
- In a way it sorta did. Not directly obviously but if you look at the history of bitcoin, its first truly viable use was darknet markets. After getting established as the currency there, it proved it could work and banks n all started buying it, so it was the weed that did it in a way

Plot Twist: Servers are full of websites about how to grow weed, selling weed and weed-recipes.

I had the opposite happen one time. Our provider came out to check our electric meter because our usage dropped significantly when we had our old AC replaced. They thought we were stealing power and came back a aecond time to double check.

Kubernetes sounds like an awfuly strange strain of weed.

If you're doing it right you've got plenty of pods.
with your help we can have a cannabis cultivar called kubernetes, only the sky is the limit (and electricity bills)

Do you snort, smoke or inject kubernetes?

Duh, it's a cloud, you inhale it.
You plug it in
- I've always called it boofing.
- Bender, have you been jacking on?

What using a lot of electricity is a crime, which lets a judge sign off on a warrant, now?

They can dream up any nonsense and slap it on a warrant, so it’s not really that big of a hindrance to get one. They can get one for a different person at a different address, still come shoot you in your own home and walk away with a paid vacation.

ACAB

Botanists? BSD admins?
- No, Bastard (Operators from Hell).
  Hopefully that checks out, even though it's an old reference.
  (Also, agree with the original expression of the negative systemic evaluation of the US policing system, even if I don't love the crude expression; and even though I'm contributing in a humourous satire of the expression)

Kubernetes?

https://www.cncf.io/phippy/the-childrens-illustrated-guide-to-kubernetes/
- Tank you!

No, I just have kids... Kids that don't turn ANYTHING OFF!!! I'm OK.

Genuinely, does growing weed consume that much energy now? With the LEDs lamp?

It depends. The grow light i use is an AC Infinity Ionframe that can go up to 280w panel and usually grow two plants with it but that's quite a bit of overkill so I have it turned down to maybe about 150w.
But I'm not running a grow op or anything, I just have a little 4'x4' grow tent for personal use. But if you were running a grow op you'd have maybe 10-12 plants and they'd be much bigger so you'd need more lighting per plant as well.
It's not an unimaginable amount of heat but it's definitely something you have to keep in mind. At home I have a little 3" duct running all the time to cycle fresh and cooler air into the tent to keep from cooking the plants. And at work (I work at a legal weed company) we have a couple people whos entire job is just managing the climate controls to keep temps, humidity, even air pressure and speed of the airflow within spec.

Is generating binaural beats that get you high using my own AI setup technically a drug operation? 🤔