Elon Musk: your new Tesla will drive from the factory floor, to your house 'this year'
Elon Musk: your new Tesla will drive from the factory floor, to your house 'this year'
www.tweaktown.com
Just a moment...
I'm so sure that this will happen...
163 comments
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And also, who doesn't want hundreds to thousand of miles put against your warranty.
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Assuming there is any reality to this (big assumption), I assume you are looking at the distance to the nearest distribution center (so Tesla "Not a dealership for legal reasons"). So a lot closer to hundred than not.
Mostly because Factory->House requires a lot of automated charging technology. Whereas Factory->Truck->Dealership->House still lets them take advantage of scale (a truck truck) and can go on a single battery charge.
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Yeah, I live like 10 miles from a Tesla dealership, about 1k from a Tesla factory. If having the car drive to me is cheaper than loading it on a truck and taking it to my local dealership, I'm fine with it having 1k miles.
This is all hypothetical though. There's no way this timeframe is happening.
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The shortest distance between Tesla and your house is a full circle around the country.
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Also at the odometer rate of Tesla Miles, where the warranty runs out faster.
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Anytime Elon says anything about Tesla with a timeframe, you can guaran damn tee that it will not happen within that time frame.
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If you double it, you might actually be somewhat close to hearing a believable date for the actual time frame.
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That's not going to be enough...the dude claimed "coast to coast" autonomous driving capabilities "by end of the year" back in 2016.
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Earnings call is today
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Ah so more market manipulation… got it. Jesus I hate this douchebag.
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Yet another lie.
The shareholders should sue.
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Tesla lost 6% of its value today so I'm sure Elmo felt compelled to find something to pull out of his ass.
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He's always lied about the self-driving capabilities of the cars and promised timelines that have never held. Print this statement out and use it as toilet paper
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But what about my Elon Musk? Sorry, I mean sensitive anus.
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But who's gonna fix your wall?
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It does beg the question who pays the insurance until your get it the first time. I suspect you do though.
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Not only that, who will provide the cover.
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He's lying again.
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You can tell because his mouth is moving.
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Add it to the list
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That guy is a) a relentless liar and b) absolutely insane Why would you say those things? Why contradict yourself at 20 days interval publicly?
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Didn’t know that list.
Though, for all I hate the guy, there are a lot of misleading assertions in that list.
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Doubt
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[NARRATOR]: It didn’t.
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Why is the narrator always Ron Howard in my head?
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Because these comments or their sentiment are usually in the style of Arrested Development
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It’s Morgan Freeman for me.
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MY new Tesla? Doubt it. Considering I'm unemployed due to this clown administration and I don't tend to upgrade much of anything, let alone a vehicle, unless/until the old one no longer functions.
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hes also still a nazi-pedo associated with epstein too.
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I used to about some things, like when he talked about the how the spaceX rockets worked, but then he went insane. And now I've heard there's a pretty good chance that starship isn't gunna archive much at all, because its too heavy from the stainless steel they used to make it.
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... Even assuming the self driving tech was actually capable of doing this, which is won't be...
How would this even make any sense?
Ok, if you live within about 200 to 300 miles of a Tesla factory, ... you have this option?
Fremont, California; Sparks, Nevada; Austin, Texas; Buffalo, New York; Lathrop, California.
Outside of 250 miles ish of one of those places? No self driving delivery for you.
... And I am pretty surr not all models are made at all those locations.
Despite long ago claiming his EVs and charger network would be capable of automatically recharging or battery swapping themselves... to make a long distance journey... that ... doesn't exist, he abandoned all of that.
Even funnier: Imagine a tesla self driving from the as of yet to be completed gigafactory in Monterrey Mexico... through the border checkpoint.
The auto charger network doesn't exist, the car would murder people, cause an accident or fucking explode in the border queue... and even if none of that happened... how in the fuck is a self driving car gonna get through a militarized border crossing?
If he just gives himself a waiver via DOGE for his cars... congrats Elon, you are now a drug trafficker / arms smuggler, whether you know it or not.
... fucking lunacy.
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He'll have a single car delivered this way, and there will be a Tesla robot in the driver's seat being puppeted by someone in the back seat of a Tahoe driving behind the car (they couldn't do actual remote because starlink doesn't cover the delivery area).
They'll then awkwardly film the whole thing, interview the overenthusiastic stooge they hired to "buy" the car, and fly the mission accomplished banner.
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'this year'
Sure, Elon. Lets get you back to bed.
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There is no war in Ba Sing Se sorta vibes
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will it fall apart while en route.
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Riiiiiiiight
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Tesla will begin its roll out of its self-driving Robotaxi fleet in multiple US cities in the months to come, already taking appropriate regulatory steps in both California and Texas.
Anyone want to take bets on how many deaths/injuries will there be before they're pulled?
Infinite is valid all things considered.
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Anyone want to take bets on how many deaths/injuries will there be before they’re pulled?
DOGE will make sure it won't be pulled. They'll shut down any administration that tries.
This LiDAR tech vs Tesla video makes me wish Tesla will use LiDAR in their self-driving Robotaxi fleet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQJL3htsDyQ&t=556s
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Yeah, I don't bet w/ human lives, I'm not an insurance company.
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This is such obvious BS. Putting aside that Tesla are always making claims about self driving that they can't deliver on, let's just consider the basic logistics of doing this for any customer who lives more than about 300km from a Tesla factory (of which there are two IIRC, and one of those is in Austin and the other is in Fremont)...
How the fuck is the car going to recharge?
It's not like it's going to plug itself in, and there are no staff at Tesla supercharger stations as far as I'm aware. With the range on a typical Model S even getting to LA might be tough if it gets stuck in traffic. Fremont to LA is just under 600km if you're lucky.
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It’s not like it’s going to plug itself in
It could stop at Tesla "dealerships" along the way and have the staff plug them in, or have fancy robotic chargers at just those locations. Surely there are enough "dealerships" that this is feasible for most people.
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You will Nazi it coming.
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No it won’t.
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LOL my Tesla? Nonono. The possibility of me ordering a Tesla would require so much leadership refactoring at Tesla, I'm confident this is no longer a possibility.
To put it more sussinctly:
Fuck off with this bullshit ad headline. I wouldn't touch these swasticars if they jerked me off nightly
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Is that a threat?
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He forgot to give us the point values...
Ran Over... Reward Points... Child 20 Cat 10 Dog 15 Adult 25 I wonder what they'll offer in the Tesla rewards shop
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AI trained on carmageddon
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You can request your payout at a minimum of 100 points
Ran Over... Reward Points... 18 wheeler 99
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Press F to doubt
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It's irrelevant because I'm never buying anything that piece of shit touches.
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It can drive itself straight to the dump
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lol right. tesla cars can't even tell the difference between a painting on a wall and the actual road.
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Later this year: "I was right, but I actually meant to say 'into' instead of 'to' and 'someone's' instead of 'your'"
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Driver included
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It’s one of those robots that’s just remote controlled by some guy in a call center.
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I ain't buying that piece of shit if it offers blowjobs.
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Not my fucking house.
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I don't want to be caught dead driving one of those fucking nazimobiles. I would not take one even if it were free.
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As if the far right folks will buy an electric car and Elon burned the bridges for buyers on the left.
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No, but the not as far right conservatives might. I have a cousin who bought one recently... I'm pretty sure it happened because of the Whitehouse yard sale Trump did with Musk.
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lol they can’t even drive from the factory to the parking lot in their fremont facility.
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Not because of advancements in technology, but because of erosion of regulations.
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Do people still care what this turd has to say?
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"it drove right through my kitchen wall. And I hadn't even ordered one!"
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Next thing they’ll “say it will do your taxes and walk your dog”. Seriously this company is so unserious.
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Enough musk spam...
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Lies
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Not if your home is not in USA, your new Tesla will have to pay Tariff and don't know how.
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When a battered car with a mangled cyclist smashed through your wall
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OH YEAH !
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... from the Tesla factory floor, through the ditches, crash through several loony tunes landscapes, over your neighbors' dogs, cats, pet turtles, children, and finally park inside of your house after crashing through your living room wall to add an additional car port you didn't know you needed! Here at Tesla, we insist cameras are superior in every way possible to LIDAR. Quality is significantly improved on object detection when paired with 3M MAXIMUM EXTREME Quality Blue Tape+ for a premium cost. Every new purchase comes with a free, permanently center dash mounted Hitl -I mean- Elon bobble head performing the awkward "throwing much love" gesture. 3M Blue tape non transferable upon sale of the vehicle. Tesla retains the rights to not be held responsible for any damages resulting in your choice of using personalized automated delivery. Void where prohibited, which is nowhere. CALL NOW!
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If they even try that it will look like that car chase scene from The Blues Brothers.
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Right... My favorite "promise" so far was the Tesla SpaceX edition (with rocket boosters or microjets or some shit, IDK doesn't make sense) and die-hard fans defending this PR stunt as "the car that might fly".
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Definitely not into my house, fucker.
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Elon Musk: Your new Tesla will get into a serious accident and be totaled before it even gets to your house 'this year' (and you're still liable for it)
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People still listening to the grifter and his endless promises?
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Sure Elon. Here, have another hit of ketamine.
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To your house, through the wall, and into the living room?
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“It’s dirty. Why did you deliver it dirty?”
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Ha ha ha sure Elon.
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Everyone: Hey, I've seen this claim before! Elmo: What do you mean you've seen it? It's brand new!
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Soon the only ones buying Teslas will be factory workers that are forced to in order to keep their jobs. The basically live on the factory floor, so it's a pretty easy promise to fulfill.
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Bullshit.
FSD is getting people killed and somehow this same car will get any kind of “ok” to solo drive to someone’s home from the factory?
More promises by Muskrat that aren’t gonna happen.
Probably have a sales rep in the car to monitor the drive.
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Announced since 2014
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No it won't. I'd never my money on anything supporting that fascist pig.
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Jokes on him I’m never getting one
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It better fuckin' not if it knows what's good for it.
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Factory Floor is in China.
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He means that's how long it'll hold together
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I told them I didn’t want the car delivered to my house. If they did, I would auto accept it. Even if there’s issues on it. Accept it from their dealership.
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I'm sure Elon musk would hit all of his timelines if it wasn't for the Democrats or Steven Miller
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What excuse can he use later?
I mean, when it turns out that it's not happening this year, and not even next year.
Any bets?
My guess: He won't be with Tesla anymore then, so all these broken promises become somebody else's problem.
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Is Joe Schmoe going to have to answer for his shitbox that just plowed through a school zone with an unusual number of speed bumps? Joe hasn't even met his vehicle yet and it's gonna be out there committing crimes potentially under his name.
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I feel that spreading lies, even to make fun of them, is ultimately counter-productive. I know others disagree though.
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Sure, Jan.
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kinda like elon would put a man on mars in 10 years back in 2011.
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of course they will, all their dealerships are burnt down
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It could happen, provided the cars are remotely piloted by a bunch of Indians.
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Understanding Bull Pussy Unflinchingly
A Meta-Cognitive Framework for Navigating Hyper-Bullish Market Psychology
By: [Redacted]
Institute for Degenerate Financial Semiotics
April 2025
Abstract
This paper attempts to define, decode, and derive strategic utility from the crude yet revealing expression "Bull’s Pussy", as used by market participants operating in high-volatility, momentum-driven environments — most notably, finance bros, meme traders, and risk-on opportunists. Far from mere vulgarity, this term encapsulates a specific market sentiment, behavioral signal, and strategic decision point. We explore its origin, semiotic function, embedded psychology, and applicable counter- and co-strategies.
- Origin & Semantics: A Vulgar Market Signal
The term “Bull’s Pussy” emerges from the hyper-masculinized, aggressive vernacular of speculative finance subcultures — environments where sentiment is expressed less through rational analysis and more through primal, performative assertion.
Used as an exclamation — “BULL’S PUSSY!” — it denotes:
A market condition that is ravenously bullish A state of euphoric exposure — fully open, ripe for exploitation An opportunity that demands immediate, aggressive participationImportant Note: The term is inherently metaphorical, not biological. Its power lies in its shock value, not its anatomical accuracy.
- Practitioner’s Usage: The Cry of the Risk-Addicted
When shouted across trading desks or Discord servers, “Bull’s Pussy” functions as both call-to-action and tribal signal. It serves to:
Affirm momentum Justify high-risk entry Establish fraternity among participants who know this can’t last, but ride anywayIts use is performative, ironic, and occasionally nihilistic. The practitioner does not believe in the sustainability of the bull run — only in their ability to exit before collapse.
- Larger Context: Participatory Delusion and Reflexive Frenzy
The concept operates within the psychological framework of reflexivity (à la George Soros): traders act on beliefs they know are unsustainable, thus making them temporarily true.
Here, we find a meta-cognitive paradox:
One must become the herd while believing one is not the herd.The practitioner foments irrationality by participating in it. The act of buying because others are buying becomes self-validating — until, inevitably, it doesn’t.
Thus, “Bull’s Pussy” is not a sign of market health. It is the canary in the cocaine mine — signaling the end phase of unsustainable price action.
- Strategic Evaluation: What to Do When You See It
Below are strategic responses to encountering a “Bull’s Pussy” moment:
A. The Rusher: Bigger Fool Gambit
Thesis: Ride the wave. Exit before it crashes. Risk: You are the bigger fool. Edge: Speed, exit discipline, zero conviction.B. The Reaper: Contrarian Short
Thesis: The higher it goes, the harder it dies. Risk: Market stays irrational longer than you stay solvent. Edge: Patience, conviction, liquidity to bleed until reversal.C. The Dealer: Liquidity Provider
Thesis: Sell calls, hedge delta. Let the herd overpay. Risk: Sharp upside breaks strangle you. Edge: Volatility pricing, neutral posture.D. The Ghost: Strategic Exit
Thesis: Offload into demand. Fade with grace. Risk: Left behind if bull leg continues. Edge: Emotional detachment, stealth.E. The Monk: Wait for the Fire Sale
Thesis: Opportunity comes after the collapse. Risk: No gains in the melt-up. Edge: Capital preservation, clarity.- Conclusion: The Erotic Death Drive of Markets
“Bull’s Pussy” is more than a phrase. It is a market moment, a shared delusion, and a behavioral archetype. It encapsulates the late-stage euphoria of a bull run that knows no rational bounds — only speed, volume, and mutual fantasy.
To act within it, one must know:
What role they are playing Whether they believe the hype — or merely perform belief How fast they can exit the orgy when the music stopsIn this lies the true power of understanding “Bull’s Pussy” — not as crude noise, but as a coded market scream that something wild and unsustainable is happening.
The wise trader hears it, smirks, and then chooses their weapon.
Appendix:
Glossary of Terms (e.g., “Degen,” “Exit Liquidity,” “Front-Running God”) Timeline of Major “Bull Pussy” Events (e.g., GME, BTC $60k, Dot-com finale) Simulated Trade Scenarios: “You Hear It. What Now?”
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It already drove across the country by itself several years ago.
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163 comments
Aka they save on delivery costs and your new car racks up miles on your own dime before you even get to drive it.
Imagine it gets into an accident lol.
Who gets charged?
If you thought insurance was expensive before....
"we planned for this edge case, and have programmed the vehicle to quickly leave the scene of any accident where a driver is not present. by accepting delivery (by purchasing a vehicle) you accept that all vehicles are sold as-is. tesla insurance customers get half-off repair claim deductibles for the first 7 days."
Surely it would be Tesla since you don't actually have possession of it, right? Right??
Tesla “FSD” switches off seconds before an accident, so this will be interesting.
Yeah, no.
That would be true if any of this self driving shit actually existed, but it doesn't. Elmo lies. A lot. About everything. So this? He's just lying again .
It does, and I've heard its safer than humans in some cases, but there's legal issues in the way. Like if a driverless car kills someone, who's fault is it?
It’s not happening.
If it waives the destination fee, then I don't see it as a bad problem depending on how much it would normally cost to deliver vs how many miles.
Dealers: charge bullshit fee
Mftr: "get rid of this bullshit fee by racking up miles right from the factory"
Customer: "this is such a phenomenal deal!"
It doesnt waive that fee because it is a federally required fee to be applied to all vehicles regardless of their... destination. Uhg.
What? LOL You would prefer to coordinate to have someone drive you over and then drive it back home for the pleasure of...watching the miles roll over in traffic?
Ever used your eyes while driving? You've probably seen those car transport semis loaded up with new vehicles, transporting them to dealerships.
Have you never had something delivered to you before? Does the amazon driver pick you up and take you to the warehouse so you can personally pick up your package?