7mo ago

Corn rule

85 comments

Because the undigested corn kernel husks are filled with poop.
- TIL I'm corn because I'm full of shit
  
  If that's true, I'm an entire cob.
  
  Well, you're certainly not a logician
- But like why did they fill up all plump and not just be like a deflated balloon.
  
  Farts blow open the empty kernels like a plastic bag in the wind, then the poop gets in them
  
  Likely because of the pressure that experienced when the feces mines through the colon.
- "Scoop some poop,.... for science!"
Most people dont chew more than 2-3 times so its kinda expected that stuff goes down unchewed
- I compulsively chew at least 11 times in a vain attempt to diminish my obesity. My lack of a sizable beer gut(versus most of my peers) shows promise, nevermind that I basically don't drink, but I assure you, the corn does not care.
- Disclaimer, I have dysphagia, so this isn't meant to be the average person's experience, but... I was eating when I read this and counted how many times I chewed when I took a bite until I felt comfortable swallowing and it was 47. You're telling me normal people can chew as low as 2 times? Astounding.
  
  I'm in the zero to ten camp for most foods, but right there with you at 47 for fatty meat of any kind. It feels disgusting in my mouth and to swallow it without gagging I need to basically cut it up with my incisors into smaller and smaller pieces until the texture disappears.
  
  i think i generally chew maybe.. 6-10 times? but depending on the food i can either chew a lot more or a lot less, soft foods like well-boiled spaghetti just don't really make sense to our brains and so we don't chew properly.
  
  There's a Calvin & Hobbes strip that would apply perfectly here, but I can't find it. It features them discussing how many times it's appropriate to chew food and the punch line is "maybe marshmallows are the exception." Unfortunately, I couldn't find that, so here's the closest I could:
  
  I mean it depends on what you eat ofcourse. Its just a linear change between soup(0) and crackers(idk maybe 10).
  Like a mouthful Spaghetti doesnt need too much like maybe 4-5 times for me, but i have seen plenty of people who almost swallow pasta unchewed. Something like meat or carrots or whatever needs some more to get it to a small enough size to swallow and it just keeps going up with size, hardness and dryness.
  
  Is this bad? Maybe I have it because I'm similar.
- Is this true? I chew for a few minutes before swallowing normally, find it difficult to swallow otherwise.
  
  A few minutes per bite?!?
  
  afaik its more based on time than number of chews, food generally spends about 10-20 seconds in your mouth if you aren't in a rush but it depends on the food and individual
"Corn? When did I eats corn?"
- This is the most alarming experience. Especially in the middle of winter when fewer things have corn readily included
At least find an uncensored version. Jesus. So dumb.
- Seems like an extreme reaction to a reasonable request
  
  What were these books called?
- https://sh.itjust.works/post/29385078
Cornshells are tough AF and we're shit at chewing.
If you really want to discover something crazy, swallow some raisins whole.
- Do they come out as grapes
  
  God I hope they re-hydrate and come out plump and poo water filled
- I don't particularly care for raisins but I might have to go get some to satisfy my curiosity.
The T-1000 variant
- You have great reaction memes, and I'm shamelessly harvesting them.
  
  Talking about yourself?
- This censorship is so weak that I honestly think it's parody at this point.
  
  That's the point.
- https://sh.itjust.works/post/29385078
  Edit: Also just so you know, your downvotes on 196 are just a shout into the void, considering blahaj has them disabled <3
  
  your boos mean nothing! I've see what makes you cheer
- It has like 2 pixels of white on the u, I had to scroll back up to know what you were talking about.
- You do understand this is done on purpose for reactions like yours?
I'm allergic to corn, so I don't know if this is true, but if I pooped a food that was still whole I'd consider not eating it again.
- The outside of the kernel is very fibrous, so when chewing it's less about breaking down the outside and more like popping the insides out of its skin. We need all kinds of fiber in our diets, so the outside of the corn kernels passing through is just fine.
- What happens if you eat corn? Can you eat tortilla chips?
  
  Not who you asked, but I'm allergic to corn. Tortilla chips, cornbread, anything made with corn starch, cornmeal (including pizza because people use that on the bottom of pizza), some gluten free and some vegan foods have triggered allergic reactions for me.
  It's extra fun trying to find food I can eat that I haven't made myself, because I'm also allergic to wheat and eggs.
you're supposed to chew 30 times, but who has time for that
You need my one neat trick.
They say that's how the inventor of the machine gun had his eureka!
- Expound please.
It hurts when i shit corn but it won't stop me from eating it. real good shit.
- I need more context.
  
  I would give you more context but I think its funnier if I leave it without.

85 comments