If you need a stargate, there is one outside of Ashland, Ohio off of I-71.

A little irresponsible leaving it unguarded with the iris open.

Name one system lord that would have any use for Ohio....
- JD Vance does wear a suspicious amount of eyeliner….
- Casualties are to be expected.
Wasn't the iris something the military built after relocating the gate? If so maybe it was never found before. I mean it is in Ohio...
- Yep. The iris is an SGC addition to the gate
- The mechanical iris was a later addition, before that there was a stone cover. Without either anyone can come through from the other side.
Ah its fine, the put it upside down so anyone who attempts to use it falls on their head!

It's been active and open for decades, but no one has ever arrived through it.
Cause it leads to just outside Ashland, Ohio off of I-71.

The worst stargate.
- Ohio, a state so miserable even the Goa'uld aren't interested.
Ugh don't you hate it when an active connection blocks the use of the stargate network for everyone.
Truly a 90s moment.
The possum Homeworld

Pretty useless without the DHD. Must be meant as a one way dumping gate to send people to Ohio.

Found the DHD, covered by some shrubs.
- Oh Jesus.
  Anyone have some valid Stargate addresses? I'm done with this stupid planet.
TO Ohio? No, that can't be right. Who would design a transportation method of that technical marvel, and choose OHIO as it's destination?
- They're after the cats.
  See, he was right all along.
  /s (just in case)
Just don't mention it on the conservative communities, otherwise it'll be the next conspiracy theory on sneaking voters into a swing state.
Read that as sand people to Ohio and thought, that’s a different fiction.

Fake fan, the Chevrons are in the wrong place, should be one at the top.

It can be rotated, no? Doesn't seem to be in a working state right now.
- Works fine horizontally as we saw in Area 51, this one just isn’t mounted to a ramp. The real question is where’s the DHD
- Roads? Where we're going we don't need ~~roads~~ Chevrons
- Yeah there's no DHD visible here. Maybe they've jerry-rigged their own!
- If I can figure out the hieroglyphics, we may be able to get the two stranded space-station-auts back into the space station. I just need to recalculate the jump coordinates using a simple DM and a hairpin...oh and also a small university lab that I'll get access to using the hairpin. Don't worry about the details.
- Spinning is better than not spinning.
Maybe it's just misaligned.

Theres a Tollan Stargate in Perth:

That’s cool, any details or link to share?
- It's classified.

Finally. A reason to go-to Ohio!

I'm fucking leaving this shit hole, deuces!

It may still not be a good enough reason to go to Ohio. Because before you go to another planet, you'll still have been to Ohio.
Says someone who's never been to Ohio before. Their state motto is "abandon hope all ye who enter here"
- I thought our state motto was "HA HA! You got stuck in Ohio!"
- Ohio has drive-through liquor stores. As in a place where you drive into a little carport, stay in your car, they bring the booze to you, you pay, and drive off.
  That should tell you a lot right there.

Does it spin? Because spinning is so much cooler than not spinning.

It's a neat trick, for sure.

But are we sure that's a Einstein–Rosen bridge portal device that allows for near-instantaneous teleportation across both interstellar and extragalactic distances?

Its location doesn't look instantaneously like a place in or even around Vancouver, BC.

But are we sure that's a Einstein–Rosen bridge portal device that allows for near-instantaneous teleportation across both interstellar and extragalactic distances?
No.
Uhhhhhhh, it's not. It's Ashland Ohio. It's not even the same country.
- Here I go trying to explain my joke: The joke is that Stargates can only exist in or around Vancouver, because near enough the entirety of all Stargate TV series was filmed there.
Well first you'd have to check to see if it's a super capacitor...

Good, now get me off this planet.

Bury that shit, have you learned nothin? There isn't even a console, meaning people can can dial in and we can't dial out.

It's ok, it's in Ohio. They can barely read English, let alone Ancient.
Edit: You downvoters don't understand. I'm in Indiana so I'm allowed to say that. I don't make the rules, I just obey them.
- You want Goa'uld? This is how you get Goa'uld.
- I’d be pissed if I understood what you were saying
- As someone also in Indiana, I'm surprised there's not a line of people just waiting on someone to dial in so they can just sprint through to wherever to get out of Ohio.
  ...not that Indiana is much better.
- Ashland is really snooty so they probably can read.