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Lemmy Shitpost @lemmy.world

11mo ago

Shart, not fart

202 comments

Condom, never used.
- Used mine twice.
Musk still rich
My Arch broke.
- Use nixos
  
  .
Back to work.
- Here's our winner.
  
  Back to office.
Reddit still going.
For sale: baby
- shoes never worn
  
  You forgot the comma after shoes but: bingo, that's the one!
- Boy or girl?
Aufenthaltserlaubnisverlängerungsantragsfrist verpasst.
- German is cheating!
Alarm clock ringing
In our bed?!
Liberty is kil
- no
I loved you
- "She preferred him."
  I don't think I like this game.
Four more years.
Good dog, stay.
- You fucker :(
  
  I made myself sad writing that.
Donald Trump exists
- It said a sad story, not a fucking nightmare. There might be kids reading this, don't scare them!
  
  It's a German fairytale. (I wish.)
Actually, it's GNU/Linux
- I love to say this sassily and where it doesn't fit just because "guh noo" sounds funny
- That's not sad.
  
  it's a glimpse into a sad life
"a sad story"
- And here we have the iq test high scorer.
endless economic growth
- Malignant profit-driven cancer.
The condom broke.
Need baby shoes?
- That you, Hemmingway?
  
  Yes, it's an abridgement of the most mundane 6 word story:
  For sale: baby shoes, too small.
  
  then who was shoe?
  
  *Hemmmingway
- Stained baby shoes
deleted by creator
Trump's third term.
- This is more of a horror story
You tested positive.
It wasn't milk
- Non-Milk Substance
We never learn
Squeezing cheeks. Urgent!
Tight couch, ouch!
- Humble brag Vance
  (cheating? Using his name automatically makes everything sad)
- Couch with a zipper,
  \ never've been deeper.
  Couch with a spring
  \ will hit you in the thing.
  intellectual thoughts with DJ Vasectomy or whatever some Amurican eyeliner boytoy is called
- Weird intersectional porn.
Technically not cannibalism!
baby, no shoes
- no shoes, baby....
- Never shoes, baby
  
  baby, never worn
She died first
- Now I'm sad
No more cheese
- No, more cheese!
Can't escape capitalism.
- Where would one go? Socialism?
Cat hates you.
- The worst fate.
Out of coffee
- Captain initiates auto-selfdestruct.
Brown bathroom walls.
- Thai chili curry.
  
  this burns twice
Still no sleep
Toothpaste orange juice
burnt my toast
- I'm on a toast kick and that hit harder than it should. A couple of other toast themed ideas:
  Toast got cold Toast without butter
  
  Toast without butter is more in the vein of torture porn.
Want to KMS?
No, better
Failed suicide attempt
War never changes
God creates man
The prompt said sad, not horror
Dead Harambe timeline
Can't count to three.
Cells dividing uncontrollably.
Out of tacos
Mine is autobiographical. It is based on a horrific event that happened to me this morning:
Dog poo finger
- This isn't 3 words, but I know players of Elden Ring would suggest that you:
  Try finger but hole
- Oh no.
Remembering cringey memories.
- Remember when you
Welcome to Jonestown
Grandmother at twenty.
- Egads! This is quite terrible when you realize the implications.
You were late
Dick went flaccid.
- Been there too
Bent my wookie
- This isn't sad.
Mutually assured destruction
Shaka, walls fell.
Forced ad watching.
Want fart, afraid
This is more of a horror story than a sad one.
Anyway...
"It was yours."
Your wife died.
- You're under arrest.
My poop red
- Hey don't threaten me with a good time!
I swallowed shampoo
- Probably gonna die
Dick don't work
The cancer's back
Friends, family... Gone!
- Diced, spiced... Grilled!
Third world war.
Crowdstrike strikes crowd
Queer Moroccan. End.
New motorcycle, tetraplegia.
Pregnant at 55.
Alas, still depressed
Please come home
Please God no
Is this Loss?
Still not dead
Chewing aluminum foil.
Globe is warming.
Garbage bag ripped.
Crib for sale
- The kid outgrew it? I guess that's still kind of sad in a "Butterfly Kisses" kinda way.
  
  If it was 5 words, 'crib for sale; never used'
I wanna die.
45 and 47
- Weird and Sad!
Your cat died
Cooking fell over.
triumvirate
(It's a "three" word)
- joke needs explanation
So long, friend.
It's not yours
I was sad.
Oh no, anyways...
I wonder which of these answers in the thread give genuine locations on what 3 words...
- None that I tried.
Please don’t forget
Don't love him
(Just realised "I use Arch" cannot be written using only three words, weird)
Trafficked by mum
You're not hired
text without punctuation
expired inner child
They were young
Water pipe burst.
The house's gone
undeleted by administrator
Can't afford treatment.
Only getting older.
I am sad.
In the melody of It's Raining Men it sounds awesome.
"Toilet water rising.
The streets will overflow."
The only time in my entire history of dating where I got invited into her house, I took a shit in the toilet and clogged it so hard it overflowed when I flushed.
Took the kids
Tell my wife...
Dog leaves room.
- Cat leaves lap.
Major data loss
Gone and forgotten
Blinds raise more
O, no right
Baby shoes, sold
There was a really cool story, but it had to be cut down so it could fit in the 3 word limit.
...destroyed...house...lost...
Everyone wore black.
- That's just a metal concert though
mounting rootfs failed
a sad story using only 3 Words
still they remain.
Tried but died.
Toilet rise watering.
Weird men rule.
No wheels, cardboard
Fist pump, bro
Mustache jizz giveaway
Hi hi
We're your plumber girls (uh huh)
And have we got news for you (you better listen!)
Get ready all you plumbing girls
And leave that poop knife at home!
Toilet water rising
Confidence getting low (how low girl?)
According to my estimate
This shit's gonna overflow
- https://youtu.be/4sew7y_RfmY
Not my leg.
Dropped my ice-cream
Baby adoption: cancelled

202 comments