I feel so old.

The translation is accurate and commendable

I have reached the age where I find gags like this - and the massive cringe effect they inflict on young folks - fucking hilarious.

i'm comfortable with my fate. who ever really needed hair on their head anyway?

Translated for gen alpha:

level 5 gyatt rizz livvy dunne rizzing up baby gronk ice spice wat da dawg doin skibidi toilet in real life only in ohio we go jim zyzz creatine alpha sigma cuh dey board

I took this text and made ChatGPT translate it to 2008 teenager lingo:

Yo, what’s good? If you peep anything sketchy or straight-up wack, like a jacked-up toilet or whatever, hit me up at -number- ASAP. For real though, we’re low-key hustlin’ to make this campground poppin’. We ain’t stoppin’ till this spot’s lit AF and everyone’s vibin’ with it. We’re counting on you, fam. Much love, thanks!

That’s hella accurate

Accurate, but cringe

Forgot to say no cap, on god

That's kind of recursive? It tells me to report the cringe.

A principal I worked for one time asked me to write up a student survey. It annoyed me, so I wrote up the entire thing in that type of cringy try hard lingo. It backfired as she loved it and the students took it. The students in my class looked at me when they gave it to the school and said,"WTF sin_free?" I said sorry, they asked why, I explained the situation, they laughed and we moved on.

What's up? Hit me up at -number- if you see anything that is suspect or distinctly uncomfortable or unimpressive, like (I don't know...) a toilet that got badly messed up or something. To be honest, we are openly and boldly trying to improve the attractiveness of this campground. We are determined to keep at it until this place is obviously desirable and impressive. We need your help, friends. Thank you.

Y'all, I'm an Xennial nerd who likes listening to academic podcasts, NPR, and (as frequently featured on NPR) liberal middle-aged white men singing country-blues-rock. I collect fountain pens and watch college football. I am deeply, deeply uncool. I understood every single word of the teen sign. (though, okay, I learned a couple of them several months ago listening to NPR, LOL).

Does that mean I'm cooler than I think, or the sign is less cool than it thinks?

That's hilarious. I love it

I'd much rather people text than phone me, it's like a primative ticketing system

I assume the language used is already dated. They'll need to change the sign every year.

I..... read this in John Oliver's voice?

When the campground texts you back with a green bubble

I am a teenager and can't understand shit. What does HMU even mean?

Can someone translate this into emojis?

It's weird seeing English become unreadable from the other side. It's like going back to ye olde Englishe but forward in time.

Thought about this a little bit, and I think my conclusions is that the thing that kills when boomers try to relate to and write the youths of today isn't necessarily that they get the slang wrong, which, I'm sure is the case as well a lot of the time, but it's mostly that they dial up the intensity to 11, so it ends up sounding like a parody, rather than a legitimate attempt. That's probably not the point about 95% of the time, because the olds would rather portray like, their kids, basically, as moronic incomprehensible idiots, instead of making a minor attempt to understand them and how they communicate and the world they're raise in, but I guess that's just kinda what lead poisoning does.

I dunno, I find it kind of funny, because the youths will be milling about, minding their own business, but then you post like "uhhh skibidi toilet rizzler gyat that monocolored sweater is so preppy" and then all their boomers laugh their ass off, lose their minds, and are like "this is SO true I'm SO old hoo lee". The zoomers aren't the ones laughing at the garbled nonsense speak, bro. If that's not an indication that the elderly are completely cooked, I dunno what is.

Ewwwwww do people actually talk like that