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I think people pleasing is when your whole identity and emotions are all based on someone else’s emotions.
If you completely lack the ability to be okay when anyone else in the room is not okay, then you might be a people pleaser. A people pleaser especially doesn’t know how to be okay when someone is disappointed in them.
You can still be kind and attentive to other people and take accountability for your actions without being thrown into mental and emotional chaos because someone else is feeling bad. This begins with realizing that other people’s thoughts and feelings should not always automatically hold more weight than your own thoughts and feelings. Yes, It can sometimes be good to consider how people are doing or the words they say about us, but you are also a human on this planet and how you’re doing deserves plenty of attention too—especially if nobody else in your life is genuinely caring for you.
The ideal healthy balance is being able to allow others to feel bad and not automatically feel shame, cast blame on yourself, or make it your own responsibility. People pleasers have made this a habit, and it takes time and practice to break down, but it’s such a simple and healthy place to be when you can start to approach situations with a clear head instead of constant internal shame.
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It is now impossible to add an avatar or banner to profiles because the only way to do so through the UI is uploading to the instance. There’s no way to add an external URL. Just wanted to point that out in case it wasn’t intentional. Very understandable if that’s something we have to sacrifice for the time being.
Edit: I noticed that images will upload to the account's home instance instead of the community's home instance. This means that one workaround for the time being to change your lemm.ee community's icon and banner is to create an account on another instance and then add that account as a moderator to your lemm.ee community. You can then use that external account to change the icon and banner of your lemm.ee community because images will be uploaded to whatever instance your account is on instead of lemm.ee.
ElevenLabs is a great service for this. You can mess around with some famous cloned voices on the r/ChatGPT Discord server in the #labs-ai channel. A lot of people that could point you in the right direction there too.
Definitely give the Terms of Use a read before publishing or monetizing any recordings though
I see what you're saying, but I think you missed the point. I am not advocating for hexbear or their views at all. I simply don't think defederation is the solution to this problem in the long term.
Step back and look at the big picture:
Right now, admins are removing or blocking communities/users/instances that are manipulating the platform (vote manipulation, multiple accounts, automated posting), targeting hate towards individuals or groups, and more. It has not been based on the actual content or views expressed alone (unless that content is illegal in the country where lemm.ee is hosted).
If we now start blocking entire instances based on opinion of the content or views expressed, then lemm.ee moves away from being a general-purpose instance. We will need to define exactly what opinions lemm.ee will allow or remove, what the criteria is for a user/community removal or defederation, and if we should defederate from NSFW instances too.
We both agree there is a problem here. You think defederation is the way to solve it. All I am saying is that I don't think defederation is the way to solve it.
“if you don’t like it, block it” gives each of us a choice. Defederating takes away that choice for all 20k people on this general-purpose instance. We shouldn’t be censoring based on opinion of content alone
I don’t think a worldwide general-purpose instance should be removing content, users, or instances based on an opinion of the content. That’s censorship by definition.
Removing content based on an opinion is very different than removing users or instances that are manipulating Lemmy votes/accounts or expressing extreme targeted hate towards an individual.
shootwhatsmyname @ shootwhatsmyname @lemm.ee Posts 18Comments 305Joined 2 yr. ago