I'd defs take telekinesis, I can't lift myself but I can always just lift my clothes or something; and if I can lift 2270kg I could probs throw smaller things (ie my clothes (with me in them)) pretty quick.
Definitely gnome wayland. I have tried plasma wayland but it didn't work as well (gnome apps seem to be more touch-friendly than qt ones) and there's no built-in virtual keyboard. I also tried a custom setup with sway, wofi, wvkbd, wlogout, and some other stuff but it kinda sucked for touch.
I mean, there was that one time that I tried alpine linux w/sway and then spent ~30 minutes connecting to my friends wifi (this was when he asked if I was programming it myself).
I once deleted the network system in alpine. I'd been having some trouble with with the default one (I think wpa_supplicant) so I decided to try the other one (I think iwctl). But I thought that there might be problems with havung both of them so before I installed iwctl I deleted wpa_supplicant (thinking that it was more of a config utility than the whole network system), only to find that I couldn't connect to the internet to install iwctl.
I agree with the touchscreen thing-- I have one of those foldy-aroundy 2-in-1 laptops, and the only way I've been able to get touch to work properly (as in not like a mouse) is gnome wayland. Kde wayland's fine too, but like you said there's no included keyboard whereas gnome has one built-in. Also another wayland osk you could try is wvkbd (tho I've never used it beyond "hey what's this").
That would be me: My hardware at the time was crap so I couldn't use the usual mint, ubuntu, etc and I was gonna use debian but I couldn't find the x86 download button, so after a bunch of messing about with distros like puppy and #!++, I settled on alpine for a bit. I now have decent hardware and use fedora.
Hey I've got one of those