get_off_the_phone @ get_off_the_phone @sh.itjust.works

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Joined

2 yr. ago

Better Tate than Taint.

Crab rave anyone?

Do you like Alex Jones?

Hey is me, your cousin. I'm kinda in a jam and need your help. The contractor cut me a huge check after the fire that took everything but the bank won't cash it without proof. I just need $101 for proof and I can pay back immediately.

This is for real.

Thanks.

Donkeyballs

Every time I have a fever, I vividly dream in the style of that dream sequence from Dumbo. Absolutely terrifying.

Sure everyone has heard of Stephen King and most know know of Dean Koontz. But 10 year old me wants to give a shout out to the best of em, R.L. Stine.

Sugar gliders are little rodents, while flying squirrels are generally edible in the home. Section divided multiply G.

Remember those curly telephone cords that stretched out to like 40ft when your mom walked around the house while on the phone and you had to dodge the cord like Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment? And then the cord shrunk back to like 8ft when she hung the phone back on the cradle on the wall. And the next time your mom hung up the phone, the cord was like 10ft long with a bunch of kinks and twists. And the next time she hung the cord was like 12ft long and starting to bunch on the floor. And eventually there was like 30ft of telephone cord on the floor under the cradle that just gets kicked out of the way into the nearest corner and collects dust bunnies until the next time the phone rings and your mom answers and walks all around the house like she always does. (I could keep going but I don't know where it will end.) Remember those curly telephone cords?

You need a curly ethernet cord like that for your watch. It could help to get around.

Also, what model watch do you have that has an ethernet port? My watch works fine but my gf is always complaining about a rock solid connection so I'm thinking about getting a new one.

Yeah but I bet they ate their chili with spaghetti.

You gotta remember that in the Old World, 100 years is not a long time. It's only like 30 years. So in the 90s, they were 100 years ago and hadn't invented flashlights yet so they used torches instead.

Has anyone here heard of wall-bong or is it just something my cousins invented?

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-alot

This is what I came here for. Thank you.

Why do most of the comments in this thread match exactly with the comments in the linked reddit thread?

No. If you take a tilted photo of a fart under the bed covers that's only double Dutch.

Still held down? What a monster.

RIP scroll bar and scroll wheel. I'm swiping down to move the bar, which does the heavy lifting of moving the page up for me. This allows me to scroll more with less fatigue and thus I can consume more internet and therefore get more knowledge. Plus, swiping down works your bigger superior forearm muscles, which is the part of the arm that the ladies like, whereas swiping up works the inferior muscle on the other side that no one cares about. In conclusion, scroll down for bigger brain, better grip, and more birches.

Also known as Maugher Beach Lighthouse https://maps.app.goo.gl/5dJ7Ur6cSs2arRUD7

I bit and had to look up globglogabgalab. From what I can tell, globglogabgalab is a human monster from a Christian kids movie that consumes/eats ideas in books and sometimes consumes/eats people but the creator says it's not an anti-book message but to me it seems to portray reading books something only monsters/bad-guys do. Idk, I'm not a kid but the inference was pretty obvious.

What I do know, globglogabgalab's flow is sick.

LMFAO "Don't dribble in my harmonica." Thanks for that.

And sorry about the state of your state. As far as porn goes, that video was pretty tame and hardly even porn. Sure there are some titties and mild fetishism but the ad that preceded the video was more hardcore. There wasn't even a swear word (other than the voice-over ad in the beginning) in the video! I'd say this video is almost wholesome and definitely hilarious, it should be shared and enjoyed, not denied by prudes and puritanical authoritarians.