betterdeadthanreddit @ betterdeadthanreddit @lemmy.world

An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.

---

Read more

Posts

7

Comments

1,744

Joined

2 yr. ago

The one time he's happy with the size of his hands is when they're gripping his flaccid, withered member and making it look big (or bigger, anyway) by comparison.

There's something wrong with the text, got those weird-ass backwards letters and shit.

Something about "only knowing two ways to solve problems", I don't know, can't read moon language.

You see what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!

Perfect for transporting sensitive documents since if it comes under attack, the built-in self-destruct feature will activate and incinerate anything inside.

Hey, I've got a better idea: what if we had something like government leadership, but with human beings?

Deep-throating government boot-leather to clean off any leftover shreds and debris from said trampling.

He likes the ones that didn't get exploded into the side of a building.

His head is exactly like what you'd get if you crossed an incandescent lightbulb with a massive pile of shit.

These guys are going to get so many autographs.

You mean the x that marks the spot with the treasure that is their even-more-ad-saturated website? The real close button is under a UI element you have to drag away to uncover. Get it quick though, the cover starts moving back as soon as you release it.

This study brought to you by the New England Journal of Fucking Duh.

I'll have to wait and see which side of the family I take after. Not counting accidents and other premature bucket-kicking events, one half has a few who didn't make it to 60, the other tends to get almost to the triple digits before keeling over.

I'd put the differences down to environment and lifestyle for the most part though, got some heavy drinkers and heavier eaters among our early departures and at least one cancer linked to a hazardous chemical exposure. Might not kill you right away unless you drown/choke/melt but it's enough to knock a few decades off the lifespan.

Look at this optimist thinking we're going to get old.

🍺🎵🎯 ⬅️ 🏃‍♂️ ?

That's awful, it's terrible when someone does something to your body against your will and causes you harm, isn't it?

I wish you a speedy recovery.

This administration needs a better poker face before it starts using card game metaphors. The panic is showing.

From what you've posted, prison is the right place for you (even if you don't like it).

Have you tried moving the mouse?

Nikipedia?

(Yeah, it's Nicole, "Nicipedia" just doesn't look right though.)