Then i'm sure you'll like this: https://no-js.club/members/
There's also no css and no html clubs.
Last but not least, take a look at gemini protocol, which is a bit like gopher: lightweight and textbased only
They have sepiasearch to search peertube instances. The drawback is that only specific instances are searchable, because of dubious contents on some instances.
It's been my daily driver on oneplus 6T for the past 2 years and it does the job (of a smartphone).
It's using the microG services to provide play store apps.
It has fake location, "hide IP address " (VPN), and block app trackers with stats.
The OS updates once a month and requires a reboot.
It has an aurora-like app store to download Google play store apps. I also have fdroid on mine cause I've found some updates were lagging in the past.
Overall it's a good compromise between full google and privacy, it can be cranked up on privacy by disabling microG if that's your thing.
Some bloat cannot be removed like the notes/gallery apps and whatnot. I'm not a fan of the bliss launcher either, but I got used to it.
The thing that irritates me the most is that some of my apps cannot be added on any wall screen. Like Unciv, subsurface and some other games that I had in grouped apps have been wiped onr day and I can only find them through searching for them, or in the list of apps.
Mmmm i wouldn't type them in a sequence. Rather quickly ! and then enter.
But I realise, this only makes sense in an azerty layout, where exclamation mark is close to the enter key. It's then very fast to ! Enter and go back levels.
Indeed, it seems I need to focus a bit more on my health, appreciate that.
I think I'll pass on the potions, it's just never been my jam, but I keep your suggestion of Novo's in mind in case I ever change my mind in this journey.
There's also the mental load to take into account.
If it's your first time in water, you're prone to panicking.
Especially when your head gets submerged for the first time.
So I think even if you integrate all the theory, you still need to be very careful and slow on your first try for this to succeed.