Madzielle @ Madzielle @lemmy.dbzer0.com

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11 mo. ago

I could walk to Canada, but would they let me in? No passport? No degree? As far as I know, Canada isn't taking US refugees just yet.

I think about this a lot. My mother's side immigrated from Europe to the US five generations ago.

They were just teenagers who got on a boat. I don't know what that cost, but they only had to sign in at ellis island. People back then didn't even have to use their real name if they didnt want to, there was no court, or lawyers or anything. You just signed in at the door.

Today, is nothing like that.

I learned on a 2000 Kia Sephia. Five speed, little four cylinder engine, that shit did not have a tachometer. I had to learn by the sound.

Even when I got into my Vr6 Jetta, or the Nissan spec-v (which had 6 gears) I was able to adjust my driving to the car easily because I first learned with sound. You learn the engine.

Probably try learning using both tbh

It's fun. Thats good enough reason to learn a manual car.

I also prefer them in snow. Being able to slow your car down without hitting the breaks is awesome when you have to drive in snow.

This isn't bad advice and is similar to advice given to me when I first started. It's bad form to leave your hand always on the shifter. I was told it can wear out the linkage faster as your always putting pressure on it.

The first time I pop started a manual car I felt like a god lmao, it's an awesome feature

I watched my ex drive a manual for over a year. I intently focused on when he was shifting and what not. When I got the car finally for myself, I just got in and went. I had a friend show me how to reverse in the parking lot. I called my supervisor and told her, "I'm driving the kia in today myself, I might be late" and I took my first ride. Made it to work on time, but stalled everywhere I went for two weeks until I got the hang of it. Took a bit longer to get the hang of downshifting.

Dont panic when you stall! You're just rebooting, keep going!

I think most of us, here, have. It really is mostly old folks and idiots left now.

Someone mentioned here, their hoa uses fb as their digital square, and my park union does too. I just don't get to get involved with the park union, Facebook unfortunately, has become ingrained in many community oriented organizations. I hate it. I refuse to go back there.

I don't understand why people are ao eager to give their money and privacy to billionaires.

Yeah I think you're right with it being good in a vacuum. That makes complete sense because it was different than the other games.

I have panic disorder, so most games with combat overwhelm me as I'm just constantly afraid. I never got that with this game. Just give me a bow so i can stand hella far away and clear the area before entering it. Thats how I did stealth. I'd take an hour slowly picking off everyone from the fort. Plus, it was really beautiful and emersive. Exploring the map was super fun.

Maybe they used the wrong language. You roll your eyes, so you don't hate life, heard.

So then why, genuinely, do you reject the idea of community with such conviction?

Eh, I became a stay at home mom over the pandemic, and while I've never worked in an office, but on the shop floor, I do miss the shenanigans. But its almost like a trauma bond, where its like, hey, we're all stuck here, best make the nest of it and try snd have fun while we are here.

I'm fully isolated now, and at this point terrified of crowds, when i never was before.

Not arguing at all people who can work remotely shouldn't, they should, for a litter or reasons. But I do miss my coworkers from my employee owned factory where culture was held in high standard. Im also not arguing this should be the only place one finds community, I'm only saying, for a person like me, it helped sometimes to joke around on the new guy or collectively bitch about issues at work or hear other folks problems and offer advice or help when I could.

We socialized outside of work too. I can't get invited to a party, or a wedding, or anything if I literally don't know anyone. I've only ever known how to make friends in structured environments. But that's wierdo me.

I'm sorry to hear this. What makes you say this?

Assassin's Creed Odyssey apparently, according to reddit a few years ago, was looked at as being shitty I guess? Not the best one?

It's the only one I played, and I played it 3 times with ~240 hours. Kassandra is my favorite character ever, in any video game. I loved the world, its beauty, the ships and sea, and shooting arrows through rocks as a demo god.

I've still not touched any other assassins game.

That game gave my weird vibes the first time I saw it back when. I'm so glad I never let my child play it.

There are so many other fun, better videogames than roblox. Fucking aweful to think it could have had a hand in this evil.

I was supposed to be childfree. I have c-ptsd from childhood, like my guardian did prison time for how bad of a parent they were.

Of course, I had no support from family as a young adult and found myself in a DV situation at 23. He never hit me, but did all the other standard abusive things. I tried leaving him around the three month mark, but it took me 3 years.

He was hell bent on having a baby. He wouldn't let me on birth control, nor could I afford it anyway, so we used the oull out method. Until he'd pin me down and just, rape me. My son is my third pregnancy. The first two I was able to discreetly taken care of, by the third pregnancy from this man in a year, I felt guilt, and didnt have the freedom to even go to the doctors on my own. So I kept him.

Got free for real when my son was 14 months old. I dont deal with his father at all. No child support, once he lost control of me it was apparent he wanted nothing to do with the baby he had to have so badly.

My son is 12, with severe adhd and odd, mild conduct disorder.

Ive dedicated my life (giving up my career) to helping my son navigate his emotions and express them in a healthy way so we don't repeat the patterns of, nearly every male in my and his bloodline. I'm thankful for the behaviorial health field of study.

Sometimes I feel like my kid's father still has me trapped, especially on bad days. I wont discuss what regrets I have, we just move forward and do better tomorrow than today.

I sure as fuck am not abandoning my kid to the wolves as my family did to me. I wanted to break the cycle the easy way and just not habe kids, instead, I'm doing it the hard way and idk. Im doing it. I love my kid, hes a good kid.

Science Bitch Yes

Once its ripping hot, a spash of oil goes on and then say, your chicken. What kind of psychopath cooks things dry?

Im assuming the leidenfrost effect is when you drop water onto the hot pan, and the little watter bubbles just roll around on the surface of the pan, no? That's how I tell the pan is hot enough to be non stick anyway.

I've uh, the food still cooks my friend.

Learning when the pan is hot enough more Like, but yes.

Sainless is non stick when its ripping hot

Nah, have you owned one?

If I cook something super greasy in one, like bacon or a burger, its completely okay to use a little bit of dawn to help remove the grease, I've done it plenty of times and it doesnt injure the pan.

For most applications, I just use coarse salt, a softer steel wool, and hot water to clean my cast iron after cooking. The pan doesn't feel greasy, and if it does, a splash of dawn dish soap does the trick. Just heat the pan to dry it.

More often my cast iron needs to be oiled, (I've been liking avocado oil lately) but you want to leave the thinest layer on the cooking surface as possible. It's not grease, just seasoned.

I wouldn't be shocked your mother is processing shame/guilt in this comment she made.

I've always tried to remain curious and open minded in my life. Do you know what I didn't expect coming into motherhood? Needing to learn how to segregate my sense of self from my kid's.

It was instinctual to feel my child's embarrassment/guilt/pain as my own, or as a reflection apon me. While some actions kids make are a reflection of parenting, some are not. It's hard to distinguish in the early years, I imagine it carried through the life stages if not adressed. Basically it's learning to see a literal dna extension of yourself as their own being. Your mom caught some adrenaline from hearing you're feeling depressed or she wouldn't have said something so emotional and targeted.

I bet she's overwhelmed and clearly doesn't have the coping. Don't take it personally, like, don't internalize that shit. She too, her own person, and you didn't ask for this. Feel free to keep your distance from her for a time. If you feel comfortable when you're both in better headspace, tell her what she said hurt your feelings.

If she responds poorly, well mom's a shit head and now you know it. If she responds kindly and apologizes, you've ground to work with.

I haven't talked to my mom in 15 years, she responded poorly.

I hope you feel better, I'm glad you're here today. Take care