Lost_My_Mind @ Lost_My_Mind @lemmy.world

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73

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5,456

Joined

1 yr. ago

You should change a coworkers map to say "New Muxico" instead of "New Mexico".

Just to see how long they take to notice.

Well, it IS hard to care about a multinternational sex ring that targets billionaires as clients including the current and some former presidents, when there's no pizza at the meeting.

No pizza = not important.

That's how these things works right? Bring donuts, kind of important. Bring pizza? Oh fuck! Shit just got real! Bring muffins? This meeting could have been an email.

Is housing shit because the homes need repair? Or are they shit because a single room shack is owned by corporate interests and costs 8 billion dollars a month?

Please tell me it's a sequal/spinoff to the Super Mario Bros movie.

And please tell me Arin Hanson voices the role of Donkey Kong JR.

Now, in case you're confused about which one DK JR is, there was a 1982 game called "Donkey Kong JR". It was a sequal to the 1981 game game "Donkey Kong". He also made an appearance in the SNES game "Mario Kart".

And then we never heard from him again.

The Donkey Kong in Donkey Kong Country is actually Donkey Kongs grandson. Which would make Cranky Kong the original DK....AND THUS THE COOLEST!!!

I just want Arin Hanson to guest cameo as DK JR.

I always think to myself.....

"Cats are weird, because cats are weird. But they all have different personalities. Yet you kind of understand what a cat will or won't do. A cat will never starve itself, because he just doesn't like the concept of food. It may eat less than another cat. I've had a fat cat, and a skinny cat. The skinny cat liked eating some food when it wakes up. Then it would save half the meal until later. Well what the fat cat would do is eat all of her half, and then wait for the skinny cat to walk away. Then she'd eat the skinny cats remains. We had to start locking up the skinny cats leftover food, and put the fat cat in the bathroom before we gave the skinny cat the other half.

Then one night the skinny cat wouldn't eat. At all. She was sick. She died that same night. It wasn't because she varied from other cats in her willingness to eat food. It was because she knew she was going to die.

But then you look at humans. Humans are weird, because WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SPECIES??? Some of them are 80lbs as adults, and you can count their ribs, and they refuse to eat because they think they're too fat.

Then there's others who are 700lbs, and eating whole turkeys by themselves, and afterwards claiming they're still hungry.

And thats just food. Humans are weird in every single way.

One time in 2006 I was waiting outside best buy for a Wii. It's 2am, negative 5 degrees outside, store doesn't open until 10am.

Guy in front of me had a tent, and an extension cord, and a tv, and a vcr, and a microwave. He had a tent apartment basically.

So this guy is watching Jurassic Park in his tent. I can't see it, but I can hear it. Ilove that movie. Favorite movie, and I can "see" it, just by hearing it.

He gets to the T-Rex paddock breakout scene. THE iconic scene of the whole franchise. An iconic scene in cinema all around.

He stops the movie there. He STOPS the movie!!! And instead plays Seinfeld episodes.

Humans are weird.

Hey, remember when Bush was 100% certain that Iraq had "weapons of mass destruction", and then USA swept in, and reported back "Well, we killed Sadam, took over the region, opened a power vacume that allowed the formation of ISIS, and the rise of power of the taliban, and all in the name of finding nukes? Yeah.....they didn't have them. Whoopsie doodles!"

Remember that?

Yeah. Found where they went. This guy has them.

Effectively, the professor argued, Putin is trying to use a constant state of war to reshape the Russian self image into that if a warrior nation.

Hard epic fail. Over 1 million russian casualties. Tank reserves mostly depleated. Huge losses of military vehicles and gear.

If anything, I'd say russia has proved that they aren't even a country. They're a gas station with nukes that may or may not work.

Dear Europe. Please take me in. Do you have any English speaking countries? Your laws seem to be geared towards benefiting people. Not tyrants and corporations.

The Americans DID punish fascism severely. My grandfather stormed the beaches on D-Day. He lost his best friend from grade school. They were barely out of high school.

As for the Americans of today? I don't consider maga to be American. Just like I don't consider confederates to be Americans.

Glad it was already said, and by an actual German no less!

I was going to say "If I know Germans, they're not happy. They'd rather leave fascism in the past and not have it exist anywhere. Also, whatever new government exists in the future, they'd like it to be really efficient, but also have triplicate paperwork. Which is somehow filled out easier than most single sheet forms."

But then you came in, and summed up everything I was going to say.

Basically, when you spank someone the natural instinct is to tense up. By tensing up you make the spank less impactful and hurt less.

By putting the ginger root in her ass, it burns from inside. By tensing up, she makes it burn much more. By staying relaxed it burns less.

So it puts her in a situation where if she tenses, it burns. If she stays relaxed the spanks hurt much more.

It's called "figging".

This prompted me to think "What is my most vile thought?"

And I guess it's sexual fetishes. But even with that, even though I'm doing horribly mean things to/with women, and putting them through absolute punishment, I'm still getting consent first.

That being said, why is it so hard to ask to find a woman who will let me tie them to my bed naked, put a ginger root in their mouth, and tell them if they drop it, I'll carve it into a dildo, shove in their ass, and spank them? Then to make sure that happens, I tickle their feet.

See? Totally vile, and evil, and sadistic......but they have a safeword and give consent first! I'm not a monster.

I remember when I was a kid, and I said Raphiel was the coolest Ninja Turtle. And everybody else said Michelangelo.

I was told I was wrong because otherwise it would mean everyone else was wrong.

I said "Then everyone else is wrong together. Just like when they cancelled PeeWee's Playhouse."

I'm now 41, and still stand by both statements. Everyone can be wrong together.

Shouldn't the yellow just be grey? If the tax was eliminated, and the grey states have no tax, isn't that the same thing today?

Basically yellow is grey, and the blue ones will soon be grey.

Holy shit. I'm just now finding out about this. Otherwise I'd have pet that dog all day when it was still alive.

As a moderator of fuck_ai, I'm against all ai existing. As a human being with a functional brain, I'm against cybertrucks existing.

So I'm torn.

It’s why fighting fascism is like losing weight, you can’t reach a goal and stop giving a fuck, it’s a lifestyle.

Can confirm. 330lbs I said "I'll reach 320."

At 320 I said I'll reach 310.

At 310 I said 300.

At 300 I said 290.

Then 280.

Then 270.

Then 260.

Then 250.

Then 240.

I went back up to 250. Oh no no no no no. Fuck that shit. I'm going to see 240. And when I do, it'll set my sights on 230.

And when I see 230, I will hug someone. Because that will be 100lb.

Which means I'll look to 220.

And then 210.

And 200.

I don't know where my weight loss journey ends. I don't know when I'll feel at a healthy weight.

I just know I hope my journey brings me to a day when I get to punch a nazi.

Because nazi lives DON'T matter!

Aren't you guys glad that we dismantled government regulation of businesses long ago? Now we get cars that are racist! Yaaaaaay!

clears throat

blows up a cybertruck

......I don't understand. How do you not inhale her fur when she places her butthole right on your lips as you fall asleep?

....what? Is my cat the ONLY one who does this???

Ah yes. Baby spice became Teen Spice. Then College Aged Spice. Then Midlife Spice. Then Old Spice. And now she leaves behind her husband, Herb.

Actually all the Spice Girls married different guys all named Herb. That's where the phrase "Spices and Herbs" comes from.