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The Assman
The Assman @ Assman @sh.itjust.works
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2 yr. ago

The Textbooks Were Wrong About How Your Tongue Works

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  • You can actually hear the difference between sweet and salty but most people haven't tried it

    • This is why men don't do foreplay.

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  • Three's company 😏

    • Google Pay is officially dead in the US. Just got the email.

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  • Joe

    • Dog attack: 6-week-old Ezra Mansoor dies after Husky attacks sleeping newborn

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  • Same thing could have happened to us, except we kept our 90 lbs GSD the fuck away from our newborn. "It could be any dog at any time" uh.. no shit? Genetically it's a fucking wolf. Use your fucking brains people.

    If this sounds insensitive, well it is. A license should be required to possess both dogs and children.

    • N-Word Spewing White Man Livestreams Himself Before Apparent Shooting Spree in Indiana Grocery Store. Here's What We Know.

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  • A white man was arrested after live streaming his trip to a local Indianapolis grocery store

    Richard K. Klaff Jr., 20, walked into the Georgetown Square Kroger in Fort Wayne, Ind

    Fort Wayne is 1.5 hours away from Indianapolis.

    • My CSS ain't like the other developers...

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  • Backend engineers: CSS isn't programming lol

    Also backend engineers: HE

    LP

    • How to deal with a jellyfish sting [drawtism]

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  • I got to touch a jellyfish at an aquarium recently. It felt like a breast implant.

    • Biden is said to be finalizing plans for migrant limits as part of a US-Mexico border clampdown

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  • That was way worse actually, 2/3 of them were US citizens

    • Ukraine can strike Russian targets with Dutch F-16s

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  • The first Ukrainian f16 pilots just finished training last week, so there wouldn't have been any point in delivering them until now

    • Claudia Sheinbaum, the first female president of Mexico

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  • She thinks it's bad

    • Guys...

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  • Absolutely not

    • We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers, or distant relations!

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  • Greedy and deep-digging dwarves

    • Best day ever!

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  • You don't want your last meal to be mozzarella sticks?

    • Russia Declares War on ‘Mediocre Actor’ George Clooney

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  • Yeah, forced myself through it back when the film first came out. I'm glad to have read it but I'll take the American south version any day lol

    • Russia Declares War on ‘Mediocre Actor’ George Clooney

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    • Russia Declares War on ‘Mediocre Actor’ George Clooney

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  • O Brother, Where Art Thou? is my favorite movie

    • Tasty color

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  • Flamin hot cheeto cat

    • Gandalf the Suede

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  • Gandass? Yes, I was called that once.

    • White House signals Rafah strike doesn’t cross ‘red line’

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  • No condiments for the next baby (okay maybe mayo but come on)

    • Everyone has a price

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  • There's plenty more Nixons where that came from 😏