Neighbour deliberately blocking OP

In all fairness... It looks like a dodge, so the owner of the pickup was probably drunk.

I mean... The numbers don't lie.
https://www.thedrive.com/news/38238/ram-2500-drivers-have-the-most-duis-more-than-twice-the-national-average-report

no shit the offender drives a pavement princess pickup truck

Considering I don't see a lift kit, expanded exhaust, and giant low-profile tires; this just looks like a regular pickup truck to me. The luster on the paint is even a little faded, so it's getting old. Driver is just an asshole here. Probably a shitty driver, since the rear bumper is hanging at an angle.
- No you don't understand everyone who drives a pickup is bad no matter what fuckcars told me so
- dude, a pickup truck is terrible no matter how you qualify it, they're needlessly huge and have barely any cargo space, they're just objectively bad in every single way.
  there is no use case where a pickup truck is better than something like a kei truck, they even come in actually usefully lifted versions that would traverse offroad environments better since they're lighter.

call a tow company they'll eat that up

No I'm pretty sure they'd just tow it away
- OP needs to call Robosaurus

Average Ram truck driver

https://youtube.com/shorts/GcmYRSpDrOY
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Makes me wish that OP had an absolutely beat to shit 1986 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme. Then you can just play bumper cars with idiots like that.

Why are you talking in 3rd person?

Probably a repost so technically not op

One of the problems with revenge (deflating the tires, keying, etc.) is that there’s nothing stopping the neighbor from doing it right back the next day.

Yeah, if you want them to stop you've got to kill them
- Ah, the Ender Wiggin solution.
- This does work 100% btw. Can have minor side effects tho.
- It’s the only way.
"An eye for an eye" leaves the whole world with a body shop repair bill.
You just do it like 3 weeks later. They'll have no idea.
Never park there again
- Leave the country

A tire valve stem removal tool is a few dollars.

A knife is way better and u probably already have one
- Knife is not way better, it's actually a pretty dangerous way to deflate a tire.
Strike-anywhere match heads are ~⅛" wider than the space between the pin and collar of said valves, and are far cheaper. The slow leak is nearly imperceptible — until all wheels are flat simultaneously. 🫠

I love reminding Dodge drivers that the Chinese CCP owns it and RAM name. Not because that is bad or anything it's just that most RAM drivers are also racists so that helps rile em up.

Actually, things have changed a bit.
Stellantis is the company that came about from the merger of the Italian–American conglomerate Fiat Chrysler Automobiles (FCA) and the French PSA Group.
After the merger, the main owners were
Agnelli family (Exor): 14.40%
Peugeot family (Etablissements Peugeot Frères, EPF): 7.19%
Bpifrance: 6.18%
Dongfeng Motor Corporation: 4.5%
So, it would seem it's not correct to say that Dodge or RAM is owned by the CCP. It's more Italian and French than it is Chinese...
- I've been told many times that China controls Reddit and that's a 5% stake, so ...
I'm a RAM driver who's considered attaching Federation of Planets flags to my flatbed in order to make fun of trucks with American flags on them.
- Better than the "Let's go Brandon" banners I see on most of the pickups around here.
  I actually saw a lifted pickup this week, plastered with a half dozen "student driver" stickers, a let's go Brandon sticker covering his entire rear window, and a giant AR-15 sticker on the side.
  Driver looked like he was 15 years old too!
  Brand new Raptor, no plates

Throw nails in the parking spot. Then tell neighbor about someone putting nails. Gain neighbors trust and ask politely to move the truck.

OR, and hear me out, throw nails in neighbor's face. Offer to drive neighbor to the ED, then say, "Aw, I can't. I'm blocked in." Edit: Forgot /s.
- Best solution i've seen here by far.
- You just do nails in my face!
  No I didn't that was someone else, I'm a different person

How do we know it isn't OP deliberately blocking neighbor?

Have them towed. The several hundred dollar fee to get their truck out of the impound might impart a lesson.

Garages aren't always large enough to allow tow truck access.
There was that one issue where a Tesla broke down in a garage and the owner incurred thousands of dollars in fines but nobody could remove the car because the ceiling and ramps were too small.

Sounds like you need a referral for a towing company

Many won't tow out of garages like this because there isn't enough vertical height.
- Just request a wheel lift and not a rollback.

So, legal question. In this situation, obviously you document it like this, but then would you be in the clear to push it out of the way somehow in a typical jurisdiction? Usually the law allows you certain extra rights when your stuff or person is trapped by someone else's usual legal rights. For example, if your property is surrounded by that of another person they can't stop you from passing through.

I reckon in an emergency you could make a case, otherwise call property mgt and get it towed.
My guess based on nothing is that these guys know each other, might be roommates
- Omg they were roommates?
- I was assuming it's an actual neighbor, who has some kind of beef with OP.

Cool way to get me to break every window on your shitty truck.

Maybe that is the trick. Set up a camera and record. Now they have footage of you commiting several crimes.
- All it takes is a big hat and sunglasses and maybe a covid mask and they can't prove it was you.

sounds like a towin '

Read that in the voice of Jasper from the Simpsons.

The car is over the line. Contact your condo board with a picture. If this is a one time thing, he may have been drunk on too many beers.

Oh well it's alright then as long as he was drunk driving. I would hate to think that he was sober when he did it that would be terrible.
- Of courses, because it demonstrates intent. I didn't say it was alright.

Use an hydraulic jack (every car should have one in the trunk) to lift the rear axle of the truck as high as you can, then push it, now you can proceed to get out of the parking spot

What kind of cars do you buy that every one comes with a hydraulic jack?
- I'm not saying they come with the car, I'm saying that every car should have one. If you have a car and you don't own an hydraulic jack (or a device to lift your car to change a tire) then go and buy one.
- I have yet to own a car that didn't come with a tire jack. Pretty sure they are built with every car.
Move it in front of the accessible parking space and contact parking enforcement. Then watch him get a $500 ticket
While you're at it, might as well swivel his truck's rear end behind the column so he can't get out.
one with wheels on it, right? Maybe important to note
- No I think the idea is to lift it up real high and then just knock it over. It'll move the car damage it too sure but who gives a shit

"Time to do some sketchy shit, do da, do da, hope I get away with it, all the do da day"

This four pack of car Dolly's and a rapid floor jack.

Dolly's
Dollies, right?
- The autocorrect fight is real. Many of my comments have something like it because I type the word I want and sometimes autocorrect changes it the moment I hit "space".
Barring getting the truck towed this is probably the best "illegal" response. It's proportional, inconveniences them in kind, and doesn't involve property damage.
- Aye. Too many of the suggested responses either a.) are wildly out of what another person would consider reasonable, increasing your chances of losing if it goes to a court or being assaulted by said asshole, and b.) don't have any connection to the actual offense, and the asshole would never know why, without a doubt, that the action was taken.
What if you jacked it up by the tow hitch and then gave it a good shove?

Is there any backstory? For all we know the car owner just did something horrible and the truck owner has blocked their escape until the authorities arrive.

Yes. This was originally posted on Reddit and has since been resolved a while ago.

Painfully ghet out from the side and park horizontally behind him ...

Reminds me of this glorious way of dealing with a similar problem https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qc0aaY-3qY

xkcd – Parking
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Where do I get one of those saws to keep in my trunk?
- It's an angle grinder with a cutoff wheel. You can get one from any hardware store.

Isn't that just your average nose-first-parking-enjoyer?

OP is too. No wonder they cannot get out.
Have a nice and obsruction-free way out of your parking spot fellow back-first-parking-chad

Is there some beef between you?

my mechanic friend is telling me that if you want to fuck that truck to death right where it sits, like, absolutely total it and destroy its internals completely, all you have to do is shove a potato in its tailpipe. like, really deep in so you can't see it from the outside. it will burst all its valves and destroy the engine :D

of course you have to have a big enough potato that cramming it into the pipe will form a seal by shearing the sides flush to the interior of said pipe, and to create enough friction that the pressures produced by the engine will be unable to push it clear (or shoot it out like a pneumatic cannon).

I have a very hard time believing that an internal combustion engine would sustain significant damage prior to stalling. An engine could run, albeit very poorly, with extreme backpressure (say, an exhaust blockage but perhaps some leaks elsewhere in the exhaust system). If the exhaust was perfectly sealed, there would be so much backpressure that the mixture would be starved of air and there would simply not be any explosion in the cylinders. I have limited knowledge of diesel engines but would expect a similar result.
Here's a video where an exhaust pipe is plugged. You can see how quickly the car stalls (at 10:00): https://piped.video/watch?v=jnoW0skAChA
Your friend is a poor mechanic and I'd be wary of any advice they give you.

Key the vehicle and slash all the tires.

Just... talk it out maybe?