2y ago

Mike Johnson Said Same-Sex Marriage Would Lead to People Marrying Their Pets, Wanted to Sentence Abortion Doctors to “Hard Labor”

www.vanityfair.com

By now you’ve likely heard that Representative Mike Johnson—the congressman Republicans finally elected as the new Speaker of the House after 22 days of chaos—played a significant role in the plot to overturn the 2020 election, a lowlight on his résumé that is obviously deeply concerning for the future of democracy. Also extremely worrisome? Johnson’s wildly bigoted remarks about homosexuality over the years, and the fact that he supported criminalizing gay sex between consenting adults.

CNN’s KFile reports that prior to his career in politics, Johnson wrote a series of deeply homophobic editorials in his role as an attorney for the socially conservative legal group now known as Alliance Defending Freedom.

91 comments

Alright. That is too specific. This guy fucks his dog. There’s no other explanation. This GOP is a dog fucker.
- They do have a very long, documented history of projecting…
  
  yup like this guy former Idaho Senator Larry Craig - staunch opponent of LGBTQ+ rights caught cruising for dick in a public bathroom. To be clear, the problem isn't that he was doing gay stuff, but that he was a hypocrite about it and was clearly projecting his own insecurities into law.
  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Larry_Craig_scandal
- Be mindful when he says “he’ll be in his Lab”, he’s not a mad scientist.
  
  Unless…he makes sex toys
- Aye. It's usually the ones that cry the loudest. How many times haven't outspoken anti-gay people been caught having affairs with a partner of the same sex?
- Every accusation is an admission.
  
  You are the smartest man alive and definitely shouldn't be concerned about going bald slowly.
- I was going to say the same thing, either he does or he is fantasizing about it. What a weird individual.
  
  These people legitimately don't understand that standing on the corner, yelling "I DONT WANT TO FUCK DOGS" at random people is not a good way to convince people that they don't want to fuck dogs.
Opposite-sex marriage leads to incest and inbreeding. Maybe we should just outlaw marriage altogether.
- Honestly, I don't know why marriage is even codified into law.
  I take that back, I do. But it's a stupid reason.
  There really is no modern reason that marriage needs to be something you need to let the government know about.
  
  This is of course a non-US view, I’m not sure how different the laws are there. But marriage is a great one-stop shop that lets you get a lot of legal kerfuffles sorted in 20-30 minutes with nothing but a couple signatures. I don’t think it is a stupid reason, the stupidity comes from all the other bullshit people want to dump onto marriage.
  
  Modern Marriage is a legal contract, it needs government more than ever because it’s pretty much tax benefits.
  
  I’ve always thought that the word “marriage” should be removed from all laws since that’s a religious term and constantly quibbled about. Replace it with “civil union” defined as a joining between two consenting adults and leave the definition of “marriage” to the churches.
  
  I agree. Its critical in the US because of how we ration healthcare. Which is just stupid.
I'm so tired of these fucking twats inflicting their neuroses, hang ups, mental illnesses, and kinks on the rest of us.
Get out of politics and get into therapy.
Election deniers should be sentenced to hard labor
- Generous, aren't you?
  
  If the hard labor was building roads or railways, it would be generous to everyone.
  
  What's the saying about traitors receiving quarters? Like for arcade machines right?
So if I'm a male I can fuck my female dog no problem cos it's not same sex. Good to know.
- Mike Johnson approves this message!
  just don't fucking say 'gay'
  
  Sings the ending lines to The Flintstones.
  🎶
  When you're with the Flintstones
  Have a yabba dabba doo time.
  A dabba doo time.
  We'll have a gay old time.
  🎶
- Please don't though.
IDK about anyone else here, but when I see anodyne-sounding-but-doublespeak org names like 'Alliance Defending Freedom', it's a red flag.
ADF has never defended freedom, unless by 'freedom' you mean the ability to discriminate against LGBT folk and women. They proclaim themselves to be for "the right of people to freely live out their faith" but really that only seems to cover folks whose faith is some flavor of political bigotry.
Yeah so when Johnson remarked that "God has ordained each of us" to congress, the flavor of God he's talking about is the one that wants laws to protect anti-LGBT bullies and vigilantes, not their victims. Meanwhile everyone else whose faith does not abet that shit now gets to hear him claim to speak hate on God's behalf
Also in case you forgot, the history of sentencing people to 'hard labor' derives from the post-civil-war practice of convicting black men in kangaroo courts (after all, the 13th Amendment allowed for slavery if it was punishment for a crime). When they were told they couldn't keep slaves but they could enslave people if they were convicts, the notion of 'convict leasing' was born.
It's only day two and I'm already sick of his face.
- It has a "accountant that's probably embezzling funds" vibe.
  
  Kind of like Canada's opposition party leader, Pierre Poilievre, who is often referred to as Millhouse ... for obvious reasons.
So then let people marry their pets. Who gives a flying fuck.
- Bird husbands probably
  
  Always pecking around my fun...
- Letting people marry their pets would be a CATastrophe
  
  A real WHALE of a problem
Sounds like someone has been having romantic feelings for their pet.
- You should live your pets, but you shouldn’t “love” your pets.
Pregnancy doctor sentenced to labor.
I'm sorry. It's early.
Throw bibles at him. Hard covers only.
- Original copy written in the stone of sinai itself please
- Is there a way to efficiently molotov-ize a bible
  
  Hollow it out and fill with your heavenly wrath, as is customary.
  
  Soak it in gasoline?
So with the whole republican projection thing, I'm seriously worried for Mr. Johnson's pet(s).
GOP sending their best & brightest I see.
I'd say religious extremists should be loaded on cruise ships and denied port entry until their god manifests them a new continent (it's close enough to their bible), but at the rate things are going with Antarctica that's far too lenient.
Seems like the perfect repesentant to the GOP lol
May his loss of power be swift and embarrassing to him and his ilk, and cause the RNC to sink further into self destruction.
What is it with "hard labor"? Do the speakers really thing that makes them sound badass? The loss of freedom is a huge punishment already. The labor part is just letting someone profit off of human misery.
- They want to bring back open slavery... Slavery with extra steps should be obvious: They want to get rid of the extra steps!
- The profit is the whole point for them
- That's the point for them. They want to make others miserable who don't agree with them, and beyond that they want to benefit and profit off of others misery.
If this isn't motivation to stop voting delirious, brain-dead geriatrics into the presidency, I don't know what is. This dude is two accidents away from being a fascist dictator.
And religious extremist lead the GOP to children rape and to all the laws against women to keep the supply of young kid so if i have to choose ? Let a guy marry is turtle
He’s a fucking animal
- And is probably fucking them too
- You got your words in the wrong order there
- So does that mean it's no longer beastiality as the're both animals
It’s more likely to lead to polygamy again, which is kinda what the ultra religious want anyways, ratio weighted towards the alpha male of course.
Polygamy will be legal and they’ll complain about any relationship with more than one man. Cause the Bible says….
- That sounds great, multiple women pissed at me giving me lists of chores. Oh how I can't wait
  
  In old-school polygamy you make one woman give all the other ones chores and then don't contribute shit.
Gay marriage never leads to that.
- They don't care whether it will or not, they're just saying it.
I was thinking it could be worse than this guy, but it actually can't.
- They picked the worst possible dipshit they could have possibly picked. The next 30 years of living in America are going to be rough.
"Alliance Defending Freedom" lol
I could think of like 500 really terrible things that have come as a result of crappy Republican legislation that are worse than people marrying their pets.
We resent our enemies because we’re so similar…
https://observers.france24.com/en/middle-east/20211202-iranian-law-dangerous-animals-pets-cats
What is the slippery slope fallacy?
So this really is the most representative person for the job then!
Fuck yeah, Sex with ducks!
- Sex with ducks, now with a real video!
The only thing that would accomplish is all those doctors moving somewhere else and people dying as a result.

91 comments