Do you trust Mark Zuckerberg to solve your loneliness with an ‘AI friend’? No, me neither.

I have said it before but ai and the waitress that smiles at you as you order are not your friends.

I don’t trust Mark Zuckerberg to not replace all therapists with AIs trained exclusively on his childhood diary.

I wouldn’t trust Mark Zuckerberg to not create an AI that slowly rewrites your internal monologue.

I wouldn’t trust Zuck not to breed an army of hyper-intelligent raccoons trained in lock-picking and subtle social manipulation, release them into major urban centers, and then deny all involvement as he watches the chaos from a floating sensory deprivation tank wired directly into a dolphin’s brainwaves. (I may or may not be in favor of this one)

At this point, we should all be very familiar with what it means to be a "Facebook friend". Only someone with the emotional depth of a Lego mini figure would think this is a good idea.

Additionally, real friends don't exploit your weak points to sell you shit, whether products or harmful ideologies.

I do not trust Mark Zuckerberg. Period. End of sentence.

Now there’s a guy whose skinsuit fits awkwardly

In a world where unfettered Internet access has completely eroded our ability to form connections with others, the solution to loneliness couldn’t possibly be anything but more screen time 🤦🏽‍♂️

Black Mirror has its work cut out for it, that's all I'll say.

If it's not a Lucy Liu bot I'm not interested

The average person trusts Google, Facebook, Microsoft, OpenAI, Apple, and every scammy data mining mobile app that exists. This whole death of Facebook due to data mining and misinformation circlejerk is regarded.

I would trust him to design a cleaner to get the jizz stains out of the upholstery of the chair in my masturbatorium. I’d also hire him to do it. Under the table and at sub par wages of course. Then, before I paid him, I’d put some sweet baby rays on my balls and see it he wants some real genuine ballskin. And of course he would which would give me the perfect opportunity to extol the Roman Empire and regale him with tales of real men and masculinity. Sweet baby rays baby!

Do you trust Mark Zuckerberg…

Now let me stop you right there. The answer is no. It’s always no when Zuck is involved.

I wouldn't trust Zuck-Zuck to clean up after my dog, let alone anything more complex than that.

New insult (feel free to workshop below): You suck so much, your AI friend won't talk to you.

This would be funnier if it wasn't so sad.

The progenitor of what became all that’s wrong in the world.

How much will a premium subscription cost for this imaginary friend?

Well, why do you not have any friends? At least Zuckerberg is trying to make you feel good about yourself.

Serial rapists is going to fix your sex issues.