If you're a broke vampire, just say that
If you're a broke vampire, just say that
63 comments
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If I had a nickle for every time I offended a vampire in the workplace...
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At least they're happy to give up the desk by the window.
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One nickel ... Two nickel ....
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Ah hah hah
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You would have two nickel. Which isn't a lot, but since vampire doesn't exists so i want my nickel back
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I'm offended that this is how you remind me
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I wouldn't worry. Colin Robinson seems to have a pretty thick skin.
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On the other hand, if you're immortal and you can't manage to build a fair bit of wealth, what are you even doing with your time?
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They just ned to sell their crypto.
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Before John Polidori—Lord Byron's doctor—wrote The Vampyre (incidentally, it began at the same retreat where Mary Shelly conceived of Frankenstein), the idea of vampires as nobles who can pass among humans basically didn't exist. They were more akin to zombies or werewolves, prior to that. Polidori's Lord Ruthven was a British nobleman based in no small part on Lord Byron. Then a few decades later you get Carmilla, another upper class vampire, this time female. And then just a couple of decades after that, on the cusp of the 20th century, Bram Stoker writes Dracula, the first time we get a vampire who is not just noble but royal, and we get the full furnishings we associate with vampires today. The foreign accent, the castle, the wine (though interestingly, the wine Dracula serves is actually a white wine, not the blood-red we usually think of).
Also fun note: this Saturday marks the start date of Dracula. Over in !vampires@lemmy.zip I'm planning a read-through in real-time, if anyone wants to join me.
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There’s also “Dracula Daily” which starts at the same time and is a great way to micro-dose the novel.
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That's what inspired me!
I decided to do that, and then when someone started the vampires community I thought…why not see if anyone wants to chat about it with me.
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A count is just a title, nothing to do with royal blood. Anyone nobleman could be made a count, earl, baron, duke, etc. Right?
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Everyone knows that vampires live in a detached single family home on Staten Island.
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Buying that castle is probably cheaper than heating it
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Sorry to burst some peoples dreams.
The castle in the photo needs restoration, which is hugely expensive compared to restoring a house.
I don’t know about Romania, but in other European countries historic buildings are required to be maintained by the owner and it is restricted what they can do.
In Spain if the castle/palace is considered as a good of cultural interest, the restrictions are even higher. You cannot do activities that can damage it, like converting it into an hotel or restaurant. Also required to allow the public to visit it for free, at least four days each month.
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I'm an amateur writer. One of the worldbuilding things I wanted to explore for my fantasy/steampunk word was the fact that the life of vampires who originate from commoner class must really suck, pun very much intended. You'd end up as a "high functioning" undead who gets even the few rights you previously had stripped from you. Fertile ground for social commentary.
So in this setting there's an autonomous vampire state that's essentially communist. In other nations, vampires are, if not persecuted outright, at least constantly struggling for recognition, and are exploited as night shift workers in the emerging industry.
I wish I could find the urban fantasy story that inspired me to explore this. It was also based on the "hey, not all vampires live glorious lifestyles" premise. I think this was in some Humble Bundle.
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I dunno. I feel if you live long enough you'd eventually become wealthy. If not you're just incompetent
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Especially if you regularly murder people.
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I’m 1000 years old but I still don’t have my shit together
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at least constantly struggling for recognition, and are exploited as night shift workers in the emerging industry.
This reminds me a bit of Reg Shoe, leading dead rights activist in Ankh-Morpork.
Of course the Discworld is more funny, less grimdark, compared to your ideas. -
Sounds like "Anno Dracula" by Kim Newman.
Dracula managed to kill Van Helsing and then married Queen Victoria. AS Prince Consort he's brought the undead to the Empire. There are vampire trollops who live no better than their 'warm' sisters, and great Lords.
Fun book, and first of a series.
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I too have some similar concept, but for a Metal Gear (the 2D ones) clone in an Urban Fantasy setting, with the vampires primarily being a stand-in for autistic people, and the vampire myth being adjusted accordingly, with the whole "virality" thing mostly relegated to genetics, but present as a commonly held myth, alongside with power-scaling adjustments (especially due to the protagonist being a vampire), with also its own myth that make the common people afraid of them...
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When you're immortal, compound interest really does become miraculous.
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If you want to future-proof your social commentary, the tech broligarch version of non-geographic nations that overlay existing nations are called Decentralized Autonomous Organizations.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Decentralized_autonomous_organization
So even if you wanted to merge this into a magic/etheric style framework, it would be easy. Offshore DAO registered far far away meant to be egalitarian representation with a maguffin talisman that a big bad wants to get from vamps to consolidate power and upend the non-exploitative organic system.
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What was that post I kept seeing about vampires? If you've been living for centuries and you're still broke just walk into the sunlight.
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Here again, cropped for convenience.
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I'm in the middle of reading Dracula for the first time right now and while the count part makes it seem normal for Dracula to be living in the castle, the castle is absolutely a vampire stronghold that has been in the dracula family for centuries because they are vampires.
Like I'm sure the count thing is a good excuse but it's implied that they've been around and probably in the castle since before "counts" were a thing.
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Its also probably fairly easy to become an aristocrat if you are immortal. You start as a mercenary to earn money, then you win a decisive battle for your lord and he gives you a noble title and lands.
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So I don't get a castle? I thought it'd be my chance to get on the property ladder now I'm all Nosferatu living in a sewer eating rats like all the other millennials.
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What is the vampire opinion on the current state of tariffs, and global warming, and do they agree with evangelicals?
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At this point in time the vampire community refuse to make any political statement. Meanwhile they find global warming rather concerning, what with the sun being stronger now. Evangelical blood is highly prized within the community.
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We are gonna get a statement next from the werewolves community and the swamp things Coalition after a word from our sponsor, Count chocula.
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Vampires don't live in castles either
63 comments
Imagine living for centuries and still not having any money saved up.
That absolutely would be me as a vampire.
Bob, I’ve been asking for a raise for 175 years now, this is not cool.
I would be the reason the abandoned looking house in town is believed to be haunted. I would sustain myself on curious children and authority figures searching for said children.