Pee posting?

my prostate would switch to happy mode and probably wouldn't be able to pee

It's difficult but not impossible
- Hard Mode
- You can cheat by doing it right after ejaculation.
As long as you can maintain a steady stream of ejaculate, it'll feel the same for her.

Aloud.

Maybe she should try more quietly.
It never stops being scary seeing adult and married people unable to do things you expect children to get right.
- I dont understand how you dont question a jpeg. A child made this meme. It did not happen.
  Now if it were a png, thats a good source. Theres a lot more transparency.
- Ehhhh, I dawnt reely no if it matters to much. Wut reely matters is that a purson can bee under stood. Thats the point of langwege.
  I no a man hoo rites like this and calls PayPal pay pow, but he is a numbers jeenyus hoo duz complex calculashins n his hed like yoo hav nevur seen.
  He can’t spell his damn name to save his life, but he’s a genius in ways that constantly blow me away. He draws complex diagrams by hand of every system he builds by hand. If anyone were ever to work behind him on something they’re very familiar with, they’d have to tear it all down and rebuild it because he just invents his own way as he goes. He has no real education either. I can’t imagine what kind of powerhouse he could be if he’d ever been afforded a chance to really learn.
  I’d trade my abilities with written language for his skills any day.
I thought they used audio recognition or something
Yeah, that made my brain short out for a second. :p

Still a better love story than twilight.

It's an older meme sir, but it checks out.

The fuck is with these influx of censored memes? Is it to avoid some tik tok filter or some shit? I am just assuming since so many of this crap is recycled tik tok memes.

I will down vote each and every one of them, I know it won't do anything but fuck it
Can't even say dingle anymore without being banned from Insta. Ducks sake.
- i wouldn't know. I've never used instagram in my life lol.
- As in Quandale Dingle or what?
- This site isn't Instagram.
Is it really that big a deal? People are finding them elsewhere and they're pre-censored when they find them.
Does it matter when it's funny?
Cuck behavior. You, not the censorship.
Use your imagination bish.
- Calling someone a cuck makes me think you're a loser.

I like how they censor the "C" in dick so it's just "DIK"

I found that funnier than the whole rest of it lol

dik was an animation studio once upon a time
- I instantly heard it. DEEK
Dik-dik.
- My friend had this little electronic twenty questions game. You would think of any object, animal, whatever and it would guess it very accurately. If your word was penis it would figure it out and guess dik-dik. That shit was hilarious to me.
https://youtu.be/aDOuFnZnPMs

pissing all by yourself, handsome?

Not anymore.

aloud

That's quite the sound

Nonono, peeing is when stuff comes out. Sounding is when stuff goes in. Easy mistake to make.

Wrong community, this is shitposting, you want pissposting. Maybe even vintagepissposting...

You're free to repost to pisspost this shitpost

I’d probably try outside if I was going to let a woman try to hold it and aim, otherwise they’re gonna miss from just piss-poor aim or I’d start getting hard and that would make it even harder to aim.

Yeah the shower is a much easier solution
- Golden? Only if they're into that kind thing
🛁

A great shitpost about pee ... beautifully done ... now I gotta go pee ... by myself ... with no one holding my pee pee .. so they don't do a helicopter while I pee

You can hold it and copter yourself
- Coptering a feel

Reminds me of the almighty Hippopotamus doing the helicopter with his tail while taking a dump. Shit hits the fan. Shits supergreen too. When I see a pond full of algae I am careful, hippo might be closeby...

And the funny thing is, as over the top satirical as you're being, it's not actually bad advice. More people die from hippo attacks than sharks or alligators.
Hippos are big dumb assholes, but they are POWERFULL!!!! You don't fuck with hippos, you don't fuck with moose, and you don't fuck with polar bears.
You know that phrase about bears? If it's it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back."? Well hippos have a phrase too.
"If it's a hippo, fuck you!"
- Luckily we only have the tardigrades where I am from, those microscopic bears.
- I feel like the plural of moose should be meese. Such an inconsistent language...
You should not go swimming in waters with a algae bloom anyways. Hippo or no hippo.

Tried this once, wife's aim was terrible. Was years ago, may try again at some point XD

To be fair to your wife, we have been practicing with it since we were toddlers.
- And she's only getting half of the controls with no coordination between the two. She doesn't know how strong of a stream you're giving her and you can't adjust it based on where she plans to point your dick.
- Standing to pee is a learned skill. Trans guys who buy a stand to pee device are all recommended to practice in the shower first.
- Oh for sure. I was not expecting bullseye aim I'm able to get, but I wasn't expecting it to be several feet off course lol.
  As an aside to other replies in this, it very much is a learned skill. Having potty trained my son, it's a skill very taken for granted. I think most men are able to piss in the dark without making any or very little mess. Especially in their own home(house layout familiarity akin to a blind person).