Post-apocalyptic jobs
Post-apocalyptic jobs
99 comments
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As a software engineer I often think about how laughably useless my skillset would be in any kind of survival or societal reset sort of situation.
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At least you can analyze problems logically and break down complex procedures into small, manageable steps.
SharePoint admins are really fucked.
Anyone building a system that's similar to what they're used to, in a post-apocalyptic society, would be laughed at, then shot.-
Hey! As long as there is other people...
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You're a software engineer. You at least know the very basics of digital electronics, and can probably work your way backward to rudimentary power supplies.
You are far from fucked.
Mathematicians though? Oof I worry about them, if they did anything too practical they'd be physicists.
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But if you were isekaied at the start of the apocalypse, which, let's be honest, is more likely than you surviving until post-apocalypse, you could become a monster magician!
On the other hand, if the apocalypse were Skynet...
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Yeah, and in my case I can't even claim to be particularly good at math, logic, or problem solving (except in the narrow domain of technical problems). All my skills are geared at turning the handle at the bullshit machine. But without that machine I don't have a whole lot going on....
Which is quite sad when you think of it. I wish I could contribute meaningfully to my larger community while also supporting my family financially.
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Yeah I guess? Is that your only skillset though cause I do tech work, but I also do a lot cheap large batch cooking, grow my own produce and can provide immediate first aid and medical care, all of which, I think, makes me pretty useful.
Plus a minor hobby in botany specifically poisonous plants makes me somewhat useful for what not to eat.
You are more than just your work.
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"Oh no, all the scum-masters are gone, who will annoy us with their inane babbling now?"
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scum-masters
Best typo ever.
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Oh it was not a mistake, trust me.
One once tried showing me a slideshow on what it is they actually do, because the sauna we had for that evening was from their company.
Guy couldn't fuckin read the room though and actually went through with his PowerPoint presentation. I couldn't for the life of me figure out how someone could ignore so many social cues from us, the people who had nothing to do with his work, his company, or any work at all. Purely recreational night and dude starts it with that.
Yuck yuck yuck
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When all the billionaires are dead and there's no one to create our jobs for us. :(
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Or landlords, not that leaching of society is a real job.
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Sorry to disappoint, but landlording as a profession is the likeliest to thrive in a post apocalyptic medium.
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I don't believe the pre-apocalypse landlords ownership of land will be respected or matter.
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The collapse of modern civilization would open exciting opportunities to own labor and not just capital.
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Not of you eat them.
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But without the laws that protect them, we'll be free to throw them all in the garbage
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I just found out that my landlord doesn’t have a job besides the income from properties. Fucking parasite still won’t fix basic shit
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Also not pictured: project managers
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A few competent project managers would probably help things quite a bit, actually.
Having a single point of contact for several disparate teams of people doing real work so that they can actually do that work, instead of spending extra time in endless meetings arguing over the best way to implement something that requires multiple people's input is a valuable tool to have.
Think of them like a tank in an RPG, taking all the meeting hits that would otherwise decimate the effectiveness of people actually putting the real work in.
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What? You won't pay me to be impatient? That's bullshit.
Just get more people working on it and it will get done on time, I'm sure the resources are there, just look at the chart, we cannot afford to delay schedule!
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This is the kind of joke that takes a few minutes off your life
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Disagree. I've worked on some projects that would absolutely fall apart without our PMs. They are vital.
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Of course they can't find them.
They all shipped out on the (ever-important) Golgafrinchan Ark Fleet Ship B.
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The USA has a bs mythology that it was founded by 'pioneers' and that a wild wild west existed. The untold history of the USA is really the story of finance. Those that financed, the joint stock companies that helped to bring immigrants over. The land speculators, and recruiters that brought over Irish and other immigrants over in the 19th century, through money provided by rail and steam companies.
These type of post-apocalyptic memes perpetuate the stereotype of a self-made country. When in reality financiers from England were offshoring labor to a country with fewer regulations and no copyright/patent laws.-
A very USA-centric comment. While it is true that countries that were former colonies have their roots tied to those imperialist projects which definitely involved finance, this is not the case for countries that didn't start as colonies. The sweat of the subsistence farmer or the feudal peasant/slave was what built the foundations of most countries.
In a truly post-apocalyptic setting there definitely would not be any need for finance of any sort. Job titles such as the one in the meme above are bullshit jobs that only exist to serve modern consumer capitalism. That is to say, they are not necessary. That's what this meme is about in my opinion.
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The Renaissance in Italy was paid for by the emerging banking industry, the Medici family is a good example of what happened. If you want large public works, and people like Leonardo da Vinci, then you also get families like the Medici. You can't separate the two. So not just USA-centric.
"sweat of the subsistence farmer or the feudal peasant/slave was what built the foundations of most countries", it was also access to different resources. Mining for silver in some areas, sheep and wool production in others, forestry in others ... already by the 13th century the Hanseatic League had a large trade network in most of Europe (from the Mediterranean in N. Italy through Germany into the sea and along the coasts of the North sea and the Baltic sea to Norway Sweden Finland and Russia.
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One of the ways I try to sell my trade to students, is telling them how important it is for the world. Machining, welding, plumbing, carpentry and so on. All of it would be primus motor to get society back.
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Yes! The importance of craftsmen is hard to overstate😀 Along with a few others, of course!
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Step one is likely to be making one of those concrete lathes and use it to make other machine tools. Might have to use human power to run it, though.
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🎵 I don't want to set the world on fire 🎵
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🎵 I just want to be an international executive sales marketing analyst! 🎵
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get them into gardening, its like a real life infinite food glitch.
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No Social Media Coordinators? No regional PR reps? No "local small business" for them to inherit?
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oh this picture seems taken from fallout 1 or 2 :)
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Me, a writer: [chuckles] I'm in danger
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Like a storytelling writer? That's a pretty valuable set of skills
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[shakes head]
Writers (both storytelling and informative) have a set of skills that is very useful but also entirely redundant unless in a well-developed society.
Humanity will always share information because d'uh. And we will always tell stories and make art, because that is just part of the human experience. But without the overload of information and media AND overspecialisation of labour that comes with an industrial society --
-- We'd just revert to the olden ways where information spreads from person to person organically (there is a lot less of it to go around, after all) and stories/art are just made up by whomever.
Before television and radio, before most people were able to read, people would make up stories to amuse themselves and their friends while doing work. Tall tales around the campfire. Spooky stories while churning butter. These were all things people did in pre-industrial times.
But there would be no need for someone who is 'just' a teller of stories or a sharer of information. So I'd either drop dead or, more realistically, get my ass down with doing manual labour (hey, I might not know how to grow plants, but the amount of time I spend at the gym has gotta be good for something in post-apocalyptia) and save my creative skills to amuse my community during downtime. ¯(ツ)_/¯
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I couldn't find middle management in here either
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Systems Administrator.
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He was waiting for his jet.
But there were no snacks :(
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Yeah, keep believing that.
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Ope, found the useless executive.
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99 comments
I find it amazing that finance, sales, etc are held in such high regard when it's science and technology that advance society.
You misspelled plumbing and agriculture.
Which are technology and science, respectively.
I mention farming below. Plumbing, well depends on population. We can shit in the field like we did for millennia. It's just fertilizer.
Most scientific and engineering skills would also be useless if civilization collapses. For example, I am a scientific software developer. Most of my work has been for medical research, which is something people tend to respect. However, I wouldn't be able to do anything useful with numerical modelling in a survival situation. My limited skills as an amateur home renovator would be far more relevant.
I agree with the rebuilding civilization from scratch part, but it's still what advances society.
*In this case, what will advance society is farming equipment. Machining science.
To be fair, most professions that would be needed to survive in an apocalypse or rebuild society, aren't things that an already functioning modern society can support everyone doing anyway. We need farmers and carpenters and such, but we don't need so many as to have openings for a majority of the population to be them, these days.
Right, but you can certainly use lower level CS knowledge to do fun and whimsical things.