what's next?
what's next?
26 comments
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"how's your day going?"
"How was your weekend?"
" Any plans for the week?"
These are cheap, lazy ways to start a conversation. Give them a go, Plankton
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That sounds like a discard swipe to me. Asking about the week is just an ice breaker, someone stating that is not only going to rely on you to carry the conversation, they're also less likely to reflect upon themselves.
Ignore that, move on to a good match, start a conversation any way you like.
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And when they respond, be interested in what they do. Ask questions, make follow up questions etc.
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Maybe it's just my experience, but this just does not work. Maybe it's because I'm asking "get to know you questions" and perhaps those should be reserved for dates; but the one time I decided to start by arranging a date, I got the answer "I would prefer if we got to know each other better here first" - which I agree with, by the way. So I do end up asking "get to know you questions", but the women I've matched with don't even try to put effort into the conversation.
To demonstrate what I mean by that, here's a fictional representation of an actual conversation I've had (the content is fictional, but the structure and tone is real):
in her profile, she says she likes movies, so maybe I'll ask about that
Me: Hey! So, what was the last movie you watched?
Her: Oppenheimer
Me: Cool, I went to see it last week! What did you think of it?
Her: It's good
ffs, it's always like this. fuck it, instead of asking another question, I'll just answer my own question and make force her to come up with something to say
Me: [Give some of my thoughts on the movie]
Her: Ok
I never replied to her "Ok", and she never said anything else. Most conversations follow along the same lines: me asking questions and getting the shortest answer back with no question turned my way.
This might make me sound horrible, but I had to stop using dating apps because it was beginning to give me a horrible view of women.
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“I stopped going after the super hot girls and then finally met my wife”
I know it’s not what you mean but it gave me a good chuckle.
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Must have made for a great speach at their wedding.
"Once I stopped banging models and settled for Wife my life has been way better. Sure, the sex with all those hot chicks was great but sometimes I think there's more to life that sleeping with really, really, ridiculously good looking women. Anyways, here's to my new wife!"
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You can tell some joke tinder appropriate. You can look those up on the internet or come with your own.
You can also ask some question about her profile or something you see in the picture.
Not the best things you can do, but would get you a little bit further.
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I agree. But last time I did that stuff (4 years ago?) most female profiles were empty and the pictures were meaningless. Except for that one I am still with today.
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So you took the only one??
You bastard
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Yes, that is true. That is the reason dating apps suck. Most of the girls either are protecting their privacy aggressively to avoid awkward situations IRL or they just fill in with junk. Other are also way too busy to answer antybody.
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Heard you are looking for a stud. I have the std, all I need is u.
Like that joke?
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Try it and give us the results.
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do you ever wonder if the world might be slightly happier if there were more bi/pansexual folks?
26 comments
dating apps are fucking miserable. cold texting a stranger is miserable, i have no idea how i'm supposed to establish proper rapport and interest with fucking cutsey chatup lines
Yes, use IRC instead
Easy. Get their attention by whatever means necessary.
Talk about things that are interesting to you. Ask them about things that they are interested in.
Actually listen and show genuine interest in the things that they like by asking questions and following up on things that they tell you.
If they do that for you too, great. Continue to build rapport, go on dates, fall in love, get married, build a life together, have kids, become happy.
If they don't, don't take it personally and just move on. If they're not interested in you, then you should not be interested in them. Figuring out this part is hard, but once you do, you will save so much time and mental.
Dating apps are miserable but not for mentioned reasons.