No blessings without a curse

If your balls are that long, you need to see a doctor.

Some countries have way more water in toilets than others
- Sorry, can't hear you over my superior European design
If your balls are that long, you’re probably overdue for a colonoscopy
- Please explain more -- what does a long sack have to do with your colon? I don't have this issue but maybe one day I will, and for others who already have the issue. Thank you.
Chicks dig the long ball
Or they're American. I had to put a full 2 liter bottle in my old apartment's toilet tank to keep the water level from touching my balls
- No. That's not an American thing. It might be a you thing.
- ... what?

I think your toilet is clogged and about to overflow

They need to pull their nuts out
- flush
  "Oh yeah, pull them harder!"

It's a problem with older toilets. I solved the problem by replacing the old toilets with ADA compliant ones. They are tall and comfortable with a large distance between you and the water. They are not good for pooping because you have a sit rather than squat position. This is where a Squatty Potty comes in clutch.

SOURCE: Am fifty. Went commando for about twenty years.

Squatty Potty
Unsolicited rant:
The Squatty Potty raises the distal end of your thighs a few inches, reducing the angle between your thigh and abdomen by... idk, 20° to simulate squatting. Considering that relative anatomical position, you can accomplish almost the exact same thing by just sitting without a Squatty Potty and leaning forward 20° - you'll get that same reduction of angle between thigh and abdomen.
The Squatty Potty will be slightly more optimized in terms of gravity, but the difference in gravity pulling straight down on your log vs at a 20° downward slope is insignificant, cuz shitting works via a physiological process called peristalsis (sequential contracting and relaxing of segments of a tube to squeeze its contents from one end to the other) -- you could shit just fine in zero G, or even completely upside down in normal G because peristalsis doesn't rely on gravity at all (although the result of shitting upside down might have some not-so-fun consequences for your face once the turd is free).
tldr: buying and using a Squatty Potty vs just leaning forward a tad when you shit = same same.
- Or just be tall enough with a fairly low toilet, im basically squatting by default my knees are way higher than my ass when using most toilets
- I don't have one and have never used one, but I thought the argument was that it was a more natural position to how we'd shit in the wild, in other words how we evolved? Like the position has better flow/use of the process you mentioned. Sure, leaning could do the same thing, though again never having used one I don't know which is more comfortable.
Beat me to it lol. The old 1960s-70s round bowl toilets with pastel colors all do this.
I grew up down the well, and my balls did as well.

How shallow are your toilets? How big are your nuts?

It's not the toilet size that's the problem. It's the slow descent of the scrotum year after year that gets you ever closer to that cold dip into Poseidon's domain.

You have the wrong size toilet my dude.

Maybe he just has really big balls? Or the dangle height is way off?
I just don't why we need to instantly blame the toilet here. The toilet might've done nothing wrong.

I got a Vormax toilet a couple years ago and it is a HUGE upgrade from my old round toilet. Elongated toilets only in my house from now on. And I can sit on the throne and scratch my balls as much as I want with no water contact.

Vormax toilet
That looks like a normal toilet. It's the same style as what I've got in the UK and what most people have. Is there something special about the inside?
- It is different.
  There are 2 holes in the tank so it sends 2 streams of water into the bowl. 1 stream spins around the bowl keeping it cleaner than most toilets. My plumber also believed it is thicker porcelain than most modern toilets.
  More info: https://www.americanstandard-us.com/innovations/vormax-flushing-technology

Round toilets are worse. Tip of your dick hits the front.

Every so often, I find it amusing to paint a quick picture of that scene and close it with: "Are you 100% certain that every dick you've sucked was thoroughly washed mere minutes before punching your tonsils? If not, you've had the inner rim of at least one random unknown toilet stamping its petri dish against your throat, and some of you enjoyed it. Facts don't lie."

My dick touch the water

This is why Growers will conquer the universe.
- Growers unite! ✊