Dad Jokes !dadjokes@lemmy.world

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Why are brass and pewter always on the same side when they go to war?

I used to rail against tautologies, but finally came to accept them.

Moo

Ooops

I once submitted 10 puns to a joke competition. I really thought with that many, one was sure to be a winner.

Cyanide and Door Business

What do you call a broke Santa?

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

What's the least amount of cinnamon you can possibly use?

I accidentally mixed up "Jacuzzi" and "Yakuza"

The odds of anyone laughing at this are astronomical

Buying whiskey

"Willy Wonka went to Walla Walla Washington to watch Wil Wheaton eat Wheaties with Walter White". How many W's are there in all?

Thanksgiving

It happened across the road.

You never hear about taking thanks

Europe

What do you call a sheep who can sing and dance?

I was going to make a belt out of watches but I realized it would be a waist of time

Buying a pub never goes exactly like you want to