Furthermore, my team will develop official clients so we can block all the other ones in the future (who needs those anyways).
We will block access from the web as well through anonymous accounts.
We managed to get some ad revenue partners on board so you can watch your favourite ads to the content you'll get delivered through our newest and most innovative algorithm that'll rank posts from our greatest supporters at the very top even tho you have already seen them dozens of times.
Oh, and btw: we are releasing subscription models offering you perks like:
Random earrapes (who doesn't like these)
Even worse UI
Actually getting content
Having less money
Getting preferred by the algorithm
Feeling like your worthless life has an actual meaning
A customized handjob from our team <3
Oh, and free accounts have the downsides of being rate limited to 5 posts a day, 1 bit of text when commenting or posting and a resolution of 16x16 pixels for images.
Want to work for us? - No problem. Our employees have the luxury of having their own toilet cubicle where they can eat, work, shit, work, work even more, sleep, work, and repeat...
We already replaced the content management team with Blind AL - saved us ten dollars!
Tbh I did publish it on Reddit (which was the first time I opened Reddit since months) but the post got taken down for "low post quality" and "being a screenshot" and I usually don't repost my stuff idk why so I'm usually grateful if others are spreading them
Poor Axel Voss showed everyone how much of a media company whore he is just to get his biggest lifetime achievement taken down by the EU court because those filters could result in censorship (something that literally everybody told the supporters would happen)
I learned from the best: Elon Musk (fucked Twitter), Bobby Kotick (fucked Blizzard) and John Riccitiello (fucked Unity)
honorable mention Steve Huffman (fucked Reddit)