toy_boat_toy_boat @ toy_boat_toy_boat @lemmy.world

Posts

14

Comments

880

Joined

2 yr. ago

please tell me you got a refund and ate elsewhere

you sure?

a duck walks into a bar.

he walks up to the bartender and says, 'hey! you got any duck food?'

the bartender says, 'no, we don't have any duck food. and we don't serve ducks. now, please get lost.'

the duck leaves, but he comes back the next day. he goes up to the bartender and says, 'hey! you got any duck food?'

the bartender, now a bit annoyed, says, 'no! i already told you we don't have any duck food! now get out of here. next time you come in, i'll nail your feet to the bar!'

the duck leaves, but he comes back the next day.

he goes up to the bartender.

'hey! you got any nails?'

'no. why?'

'you got any duck food?'

"fast" food? ha! try standing in line while a bunch of dickhead doordashers get to cut you in line. try walking into an empty establishment only to wait 20 minutes for a sandwich because of all the idiots that want to pay twice the price for a fucking meal.

i didn't take any offense, i was just making an old-man-shakes-fist-at-cloud complaint into the void.

your last sentence really hit home. it would probably feel great to give in, shove a pencil in my nose, and proudly don a red hat.

i bet you can even see the map from space!

Sample the hamburger

um, no thanks?

can you imagine what the groupies are like for that show?

not sure, i only know bob by his stage name

trust me, it would definitely not be the working class.

i appreciate your advice, and i think we're done talking about it now.

meh. i guess it doesn't really matter what it sounds like on the outside. i mentioned the church in good faith, but that's apparently now a lost thing. it sucks, because he was a great friend and mentor and i don't think kids now will ever get the chance to have that. everyone's a creep and a groomer now.

i miss short-term memory.

i'm addressing it (again). been to a billion aa's, been through a month of rehab detox. the people from concurrent disorders said there's nothing more they can do, and i swear that zoom groups are specifically designed to make you want to drink even more.

all that said - and yes it's a problem - but i'm kind of afraid of what i'd become if i quit drinking. it keeps me stuck to my chair. with all that i know and the way the world is going, i'd probably end up bombing a taco bell.

okay, we've established that you don't have a sense of humour. want to chip at a different fault?

would y'all still pretend to like my posts if i was a worm?

(it's an issue i'm doing my best to address - thanks for your reply)

oh, it's diagnosed you tool. what about yours?

until the philosophy which holds one race superior and another inferior is finally and permanently discredited and abandoned everywhere is war

(ed-sp)

that's really encouraging, but did you peep my history or is my alcoholism just that apparent?

the 90s were a different time, and he was a friend from church. nothing creepy - he was a mentor, not a creep. he was the guy who told you not to drink all those wine coolers. i did anyways, and i got a horrible stomach ache and spent the night in the fetal position. he was wise.

she definitely heard you typing that. you should probably sleep with one eye open tonight.

seriously though, what a beautiful cat! the stripes! the golden eyes! she looks like the cats you'd see in pictures from the 1800s

come for the memes. stay to piss all over my bad hot takes.