If you're resorting to pet food, you probably won't have a large variety of options. Just eat whatever you can get your hands on and hope your stomach can handle it.
I've been feeding my dogs many different kinds of pellets and canned foods over the years. I always wash my hands after feeding ASAP, because the smell has a tendency to linger. It's not vomit-inducing, but it's still pretty far from pleasant.
Could possibly forgive the breast milk thief, seeing as there is a nonzero chance it was stolen out of desperation for nutrition instead of a pervert sex thing, (unless the thief was Kotick, of course)
Laws probably vary state to state, country to country.
In South Africa, where I live, I knew a few people in university whose parents were doctors and wrote them prescriptions for Ritalin/Concerta or Modafinil. They did not have ADHD nor narcolepsy as far as I was aware.
They also were not willing to share. Man, fuck those guys. Sorry for the tangent.
careful not to mistake them for Adderall
or do whatever, I'm not your mom, life's short