thesohoriots @ thesohoriots @lemmy.world

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718

Joined

2 yr. ago

Downside: you just can’t get a good bagel.

You mean like the collections of artists/authors?

There’s no way this could go wrong twice, so what the heck, put it all on the green 00.

Unfortunately hurricane Helene just made homeownership in that area entirely unappealing. Unless you’re just dumb enough to believe in the prosperity gospel and think god won’t re-smite your property, of course.

A pissing contest where Trump is desperately shoving asparagus in his mouth.

Use a greasy ring of Papa John’s garlic butter sauce to stick that Parmesan rim on, you got a deal

I’d clock it at a fraction of 1%. I had one relative I’d hear from once every few months who always forgot to unblock their landline number before dialing, and then there’s the rare healthcare number that you’re not meant to be able to call back (but you’re told to expect the call). But effectively all of them are spam. If it’s important, they’ll leave a message and callback number.

Chewy is pretty awesome for stuff like that. Condolences for your loss.

He can just wait for an equine dose of ketamine to liquify Elon’s liver and kidneys. Rest in literal piss.

Their tailors sew them on one leg at a time like everybody else’s

Funny story, Bono fell asleep listening to the Blue Velvet soundtrack and dreamed he heard a Roy Orbison song. Turns out it didn’t exist. So he tries to recreate it, and comes up with “She’s A Mystery to Me,” which he happened to be carrying around on a cassette when he bumps into Orbison by accident at a function. Bono nervously plays it for Orbison like a high schooler fumbling through a presentation due to star shock, and Orbison agrees to record it. Tl;dr that’s why it sounds like a U2 song fronted by Orbison.

Second breakfast burritos. A good one is definitely filling, tasty, and has all types of stuff (veggies, protein, carbs, dairy) in it.

A Beautiful Depression, folks

I love the one on my keychain — usually forget it’s there until I’m somewhere so dark that it suddenly it lights up the entire door handle.

You knew this was coming, dummies. And do you really think Trump is going to abide by anyone else’s rules at this point? Today you’re reaping what you’ve sown.

Bold of you to assume they don’t ghost us before it gets this far

I told you man!

Wait, TikTok users had more than 4 seconds of engagement with a 25-hour speech that wasn’t set to “oh no no no” (slowed + reverb NITECORE REMIX)

“It's one banana, Michael. What could it cost, $10?“

As I believe the band Semisonic once said about ouroboros diarrhea, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end”