I'd rather have a "Would you like to hide all Sports related Content?" button than a "Would you like to hide all NSFW content?" button
I'm in the same spot. Ended up just buying a cheap SSD and dual booting with windows 10. It's definitely not as convenient as it could be, but it works perfectly.
This is Windows 10. I've tried Ubuntu and Arch on the same computer, and they were both faster.