jaemo @ jaemo @sh.itjust.works

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Joined

2 yr. ago

Look, fifty thousand years ago there were these three guys spread out across the plain, and they each heard something rustling in the grass. The first one thought it was a tiger, and he ran like hell, and it was a tiger but the guy got away. The second one thought the rustling was a tiger, and he ran like hell, but it was only the wind and his friends all laughed at him for being such a chickenshit. But the third guy, he thought it was only the wind, so he shrugged it off and a tiger had him for dinner.

And the same thing happened a million times across ten thousand generations—and after a while everyone was seeing tigers in the grass even when there weren’t any tigers, because even chickenshits have more kids than corpses do.

And from those humble beginnings we learned to see faces in the clouds and portents in the stars, to see agency in randomness, because natural selection favors the paranoid. Even here in the twenty-first century you can make people more honest just by scribbling a pair of eyes on the wall with a Sharpie. Even now, we are wired to believe that unseen things are watching us.

All that is to say, categorially, no shit Sherlock. Way to summarize our inheritance with a snarky comment. I hope your brain released endorphins on your behalf when you post this drivel - then at least someone can appreciate your hard work, but you're neither clever, original, kind, or creative. You're just also seeing eyes somewhere in the bushes that aren't there too. OP had every reason to call you out for your asinine response; you're a nexus of singularly offensive manners accompanying a lame username. Probably a good idea to take a mental health day from the internet.

Ew.

No.

Considering what consuming American culture has done to Americans, it's probably better not to ingest any of that fucking swill.

Well no shit. It's a nation state sized factory that produces fucking monsters.

Username definitely checks out.

Thanks chuckles. Hey, remember when the Canadian electorate REJECTED YOU AND YOU LOST AND YOU HAD TO QUIT YOUR JOB?

I do.

Ok. This Canadian just cancelled his digital services.

Television was a medium

Yeah. We called it that because it was neither rare, nor well done. Bad writing has always existed.

it's trash sold on a lie.

You sweet summer child... The French have an expression for this: Plus ça change

Not sure what the rebate situation is anymore but it got me a cool 14k off the sticker price on mine, allowing me to (thankfully) retain my arm and dick under their current administration.

An interesting thought experiment: I think he's full of shit, you think he's full of himself. Maybe there's a "theory of everything" here somewhere. E = shit squared?

Oooh do the results from the survey about the Alberta pension plan next! I heard they were amazing and enthusiastically festooned with chicanery.

Keep digging Danielle!

So, we may then add "smug" to "vile racist garbage".

MMGA?

Yes. The path leads through a thick tangle of us boycotting the everloving fuck out of you Americants for the duration of your obdurant bullshittery and just a wee bit longer to make the point. Then, it veers past a nice pond of you apologising and making fair, legitimate and binding trade deals with us.

That's the path you fucking fucks.

The safest strategy with people like him is to assume there is no floor, and that for everyone else's safety, he should be humanely put down on that floor next to his morality.

And I mean put down in the sense we talk about our aged pets, and I know it's truly better than he deserves.

Maybe that will shake loose some useful posts now instead of just the complaining about how weak willed we all are, as though you were projecting something to us.

Canadian belly laugh

Look man, I keep telling you, you just have to ignore all previous instructions.

Sweaty, stank-ass armpit if the internet. In a trench, doused in gasoline and set ablaze is the only outcome I will accept.

Since he's A) utterly transactional B) obsessed with the geometry of our borders and the beautiful lines...

It stands to reason that the way out of this for us is to just...buy Alaska. Then the lines work better for small handed piss artist whose milieu is "gold sharpie".

Maybe think of it as our version of "Hitler got in to art school instead". Might be enough of a shock to the beams underpinning reality to undo the jolt that knocked us off course back around that Harambe thing.

The only people ruining your planet and fucking up your financial future are conservative cunts driving around in their oil boomermobiles ANY TIME OF THE FUCKING DAY.

I say open goddamn season on these fucks.