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ivanafterall
ivanafterall @ ivanafterall @kbin.social
Posts
15
Comments
3,153
Joined
2 yr. ago

Trump promises a ‘deal’ on abortion that will please everyone. It likely doesn’t exist.

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  • He's going to voluntarily slither back into his mother's anus.

    • Quite a talent

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  • Truly, the brightest flame burns the quickest.

    • Quite a talent

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  • I am impressed at the control you'd have to have to not only fart on command, but to fart so consistently that it is considered a specific performance with a name. "Oh, I love this one!" It's amazing.

    • Quite a talent

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  • There are still people playing the lute and all kinds of other historic instruments. There must be a group of devoted flatulists out there? I'm not just saying any old farters, I'm talking true flatulists.

    • Boris Johnson: Arms embargo on Israel 'death wish of Western civilization'

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  • I'm going with unaddressed mental illness run amok, leading to apathy regarding presentation, hygiene, etc. Also why Trump looks and smells like literal shit.

    • Are we still doing "phrasing!" ?

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  • So you only shoot it when it's dark? Pretty sure this guy's a cop, everyone.

    • $1.33 billion Powerball jackpot won by single ticket in Oregon

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  • I wouldn't have wanted him launching cannon balls at my car or shop, but I like the idea that it happened.

    • Forest Gump thought "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get" because he was illiterate and couldn't read the little card.

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  • Are there other boxes of chocolates?

    • Forest Gump thought "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get" because he was illiterate and couldn't read the little card.

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  • I've always seen literal maps showing what's what. Sounds like maybe none of the Gumps could read. But even so, wouldn't you learn to tell the shapes apart? It shouldn't keep surprising you over and over.

    • $1.33 billion Powerball jackpot won by single ticket in Oregon

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  • What a ride. No regerts.

    • $1.33 billion Powerball jackpot won by single ticket in Oregon

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  • Not even one hooker?

    • The new science of death: ‘There’s something happening in the brain that makes no sense’

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  • But then wouldn't life also be far more dead than we ever thought possible? Basically we're living in The Sixth Sense, that's my takeaway.

    • Am I a coffee heathen?

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    • Sad, but it's true

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  • Be careful with girls who try to go all the way to kissing in the first few months.

    • Safe AF

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  • "Thank GOD, I was hoping I wasn't the only one who noticed! I've been dying over here trying not to say anything."

    • 🍄The right-wing scammers who paved the way for Trump🍄

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  • "He knows he has an unusual penis," Daniels writes. "It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool..."

    "I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart...

    "It may have been the least impressive sex I'd ever had, but clearly, he didn't share that opinion."

    • Safe AF

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  • Careful how you deliver that "obviously."

    • Sean 'Diddy' Combs' son accused of sex assault in lawsuit that also names music mogul as defendant

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  • The rapist doesn't fall far from the other rapist? Not very catchy.

    • 32 per cent of Canadians blame grocery stores for rising food prices, more than any other reason: Nanos

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  • I think the reason I blame them is because it's their fault, but I'm not Canadian, so I don't count.

    • Baltimore bridge salvage: 'This is a game of Jenga you don't want to lose'

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  • In fact, I did have a helicopter in one of those, but the shipping label might have gotten rubbed off or switched in all the chaos.