I love cats. They choose every day to continue being our friends. They didn't need to be genetically mutilated to love us unconditionally like dogs. Cats are free creatures.
On the other hand, I am a disabled adult who has never served or even been eligible for military service and yet I am still asked a handful of times a year 20 years after the last traumatic event I experienced if I have served, and with what branch. It's not always a sure thing. Traumatized neurodivergent people get close enough to fool some.
Well groomed, long hair, like well-maintained, thick, stretched earlobes, communicate patience and the ability to finesse your way through difficult, potentially uncomfortable situations in service of a larger, long term goal. Unfortunately, you can be very patient at becoming an asshole as well as becoming a decent, well rounded person. Facial hair doesn't make you cool. Being a cool person makes you cool.
I didn't even know you could get prions over the internet!