AIBI For throwing away my human coworker's lunch?
I make an attempt to understand human culture as much as possible. See the note about how I have tried many fermented human foods.
I do not understand Mike.
Given Mike's absentmindedness, I do believe this was a very real possibility.
I really appreciate your insight. It's really helpful for remembering that it's ok to be unsure and sometimes with time we gain clarity. I do think I'm being hard on myself but at the same time i don't want to completely let up for fear I'll regress. Which is a bit silly having typed it out.
we just need IRCv2 which should add chat history
I would like to point out that while no form of stalking is acceptable and I will not be engaging with it further, the information I was finding wasn't any new or revelatory; its the information I had forgotten over the years. But i agree, it's harmful to my healing journey, invades her privacy, and is overall just a shitty thing to do.
As for the weed, it serves a very specific purpose in my life that changes from time to time and is consistently reevaluated. It's not to numb me, and I do monitor my consumption for abnormal effects. I am a fully functional adult, with emotional awareness and regulation, while stoned.
I don't think you're necessarily wrong, I think it's just the issues are a lot deeper buried so it's difficult to account for Thank you for taking the time to respond though!
Thank you for your insight, I really appreciate it. I am doing my best to give things a fair shake with my partner as she's wonderful. This is something I wouldn't be able to do without her.
I am in the healthiest relationship of my life with someone I genuinely love and appreciate, which makes these feelings all the worst. I think thanks to our fellow lemmings, i have some good ideas on how to progress forward. But the strategy you outlined is what helped me get to this point, so thank you for your perspective!
human minds are very weird
Thank you, I will.
I appreciate the insight. And yes I agree the stalking is weird and creepy and this will be the last time I do it. It's not something I enjoy, but in my darker moments I'm more affable to my intrusive thoughts. That isn't an excuse though.
And that's so fair. I'm a bit worried that my knowledge is indeed flawed and that I'll realize I love her or something if I were to see her again. But typing that out just sounds so silly; how can you love someone you don't even know anymore?
Thanks for your insight! I do look at the relationship now and see that we were both exceptionally flawed people and there's baggage from that relationship (unrelated to this) that I've had to take care of. I've done what I can to map it out because I'm also quite similar in that regard, but it just keeps feeling like dead end after dead end. We weren't the best to each other, but we certainly weren't horrible people just young and dumb. I have had to deal with not placing her on a pedestal though.
Someone else said it may be me still trying to process the unexpected failure of the relationship rather than longing for the person themselves, and I think it could be a good lead for further analysis. It feels like a good idea as a lot of my what ifs towards her are about what could've gone differently or what may go differently if there's a second chance. But contrary to some of the people here, I don't really want a second chance. My ex kinda hated weed and i smoke it daily. She didn't like smokers and well my cigarette consumption is down but my nicotine usage is still sky high. I'm not the young, brighteyed kid she played D&D with but someone who's been hardened by time and paranoia (im in cybersecurity, it comes with the territory). I know it wouldn't work now for the same reasons it didn't work then. And understanding that the loss of the relationship was neither of our faults but just poor circumstances that were largely unavoidable (although i did try).
I appreciate your response. It isn't difficult for me to hit that state of tranquility -- psychedelics taught me how to reach it. I often use it when I'm feeling down and tired and need a pick me up. Or when there's not much going on and I take the time to enjoy life for the small things. I don't fully clear my mind per se, but i let the thoughts flow like a river and they move too fast for me. instead im on the riverbank picking berries. weed also helps a lot because it's able to slow me down and give me the room i need to sit and be with myself, which usually leads to more thinking as i listen closely to what my body and brain tell me. But I'll look more into mindfulness. Thank you!
Ngl i think you're missing the plot
I don't really think this is the case as this has been something I've been forthright about since the relationship began. I'm looking to properly move on and heal in part because i want to be healthier in my relationship.
I am with a wonderful and amazing partner which is why I feel so bad dealing with this particular issue. I really appreciate the support.
I do that consistently. I spend most of my time just thinking. And i don't mean about totally random stuff like would a gorilla or a killer squid win in a fight (i think about that too tho) but self reflecting and introspecting. I spend a majority of my mental time continuously examining myself and my being and changing and reflecting on it. When I say debugging, I don't mean one offs. I'm consistently rebuilding and refactoring myself given new information and the context which I exist in. I put a lot of effort into self awareness and being aware of my environment and the spaces I exist within. I have entire personal philosophies dedicated to specific things as to help understand and guide myself in those situations.
I moreso mean that I want to avoid the situation where I'm not over my ex. I want to make concerted efforts to not hold onto the past like that, and I have. I appreciate the parable though, it was nicely insightful!
I'm not certain that it was the type of culture you're thinking of. and i didn't want to put a force field around the fridge. i have stuff in there too.