doug @ doug @lemmy.today

average man by day, average man by night. / you get more points being on le

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5 mo. ago

🙄 is that why you’re in the military? to detain unarmed protesters on your own soil?

get fucked.

Dangerous for you, maybe, you fucking ghoul.

I assure you I only found humor in people personifying a person into “Amber Lamps,” I did not recognize I was laughing alongside others who were laughing for racist reasons centered around poking fun of urban phonetics.

…ok so for this one I was laughing at him thinking he confidently could break his cuffs and people turning it into songs and adjacent memes, I didn’t think at the time about the power dynamics and systemic racism surrounding the incident at the time.

…ok so for this one, um, ok you know what? I’ll just uh, I’ll see myself out.

I wish I didn’t have an easier time empathizing with animals than I did people; rats are so friggin’ cute

Hell if I watch an ant long enough I’ll find them cute too. Wiping dirt off their little antennae 🥺

I’m probably gonna die getting bit by a rabid raccoon as I try to pet them.

As much as I enjoyed Idiocracy when it came out, I wish its proposed answer/crux of the issue wasn’t “smart people should have kids” and instead focused on educating the ones that are already here/brought into this world.

Once they’ve deemed there’s enough professional journalists disbanded to start getting dirty.

I’ll hop on this!

I’m gonna be honest with ya; housing prices have gotten completely incompatible with my gambling addiction, pair that with streaming services having no interest in my pitch to have pre-recorded clown interludes between cartoon episodes, and you’ve got this: the only affordable place someone like me can live, the sewers.

It ain’t so bad. Years of wearing a rubber nose has sealed my nostrils shut, so I don’t mind the smell.

The roommates situation on the other hand?…

Geraldo Riviera eats a rat from the fridge

Hey! Hands off my lunch! Geraldo? Shouldn’t you be on Fox?

Geraldo: yes, but their craft services just doesn’t compare to the real thing.

I don’t do balloons anymore, kid. Penny’s got a new latex allergy he doesn’t want to make worse than it already is. scratch scratch

We all uh…somethin’… down here, look, kid, just let me bite your arm off, OK?

A chunk of my savings is going to be spent celebrating the day this guy fucking dies.

I animated so many flipbooks in middle school on HyperCard. Rest in peace, buddy 🫡

I’ve never considered it a paradox, more of an irony.

…but yes I was oversimplifying for funsies. “Bash the fash” as they say.

The only thing tolerance cannot tolerate is intolerance…

…I think it is morally sound to remove someone from society if that someone is an intolerant, fascist, greedy bigot. What constitutes as “remove” is contingent on how intolerant, fascist, and greedy the subject has exhibited themselves to be.

…murder is OK, in some scenarios.

Grim Fandango is probably going to be the most accurate depiction of the afterlife if ever there was one.

Ironically I indeed have come around to eating them as a snack, which I never would’ve considered at the time.

(I was more about whatever high sodium crap triggered the dopamine at the convenience store nearby: chips, Chex mix, corn nuts, etc.)

Even now some recipe apps— when I look for gluten free stuff— I can tell it didn’t filter my results and instead just appended “gluten free” to ingredients that normally have gluten.

Which I get, but like… gluten free bread is gross/they haven’t mastered that at all.

A while back a dev invited users to test out his app in beta that gave recipe ideas based on your dietary preferences (back before everyone was doing it).

I told it I’m vegetarian, am lactose free (m’spouse is lactose intolerant), and gluten free (I’m not, but 23andMe told me to maybe cut back on gluten to avoid developing the celiac’s I’m at risk for/others in my family have).

The only food it came up with for me— for dinner— was “a handful of almonds.”

That phrase has become a running gag with friends and I whenever we’re hungry af, because I’ll never forget how hilarious of a dinner suggestion that was. It felt akin to my vegetarian experience of going to a stakehouse for my grandpa’s birthday and the waiter being understandably woefully unprepared for my dietary preferences.

“I don’t mean to victim blame, but I try not to look like I’m worth mugging.”

I’m a little surprised they let me delete my account after they permabanned me, and that deleting my account deleted all of my 18 years-worth of posts and comments (and not just my username/profile). All that data they want to train their bots on, gone (at least publicly, anyway).