dingus @ dingus @lemmy.world

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26

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1,901

Joined

2 yr. ago

I'm afraid there's nothing you can do if your job truly is that terrible. I know changing jobs isn't easy or necessarily doable, but it seems like that's the only "real" option.

I like going to work every day to see some of my coworkers.

To me, CBT has always made it feel like my thoughts and feelings are not valid. As someone who has had invalidation problems with these my whole life it makes it feel really offensive.

I know people get great things out of it, and that's good. But yeah not for everyone and (unfortunately??) it's the "trendy" thing with therapy nowadays. I just wish there was a therapy modality that acknowledges one's thoughts and feelings as valid, even if they aren't perfect, and instead finds ways to work with them instead of against them.

Shrimp taste very similar to crawfish to me. I can't really tell the difference. I like both, though.

Dollar Tree has essentially always been like that. It was never really there for "deals" because of what you mentioned. Usually the items were just smaller packages of things which is why they cost less to begin with.

But it has always been fantastic for certain kinds of items:

1. Birthday/greeting cards. They are always simpler and of lesser quality than at other stores. But is anyone really going to keep your card for a prolonged period of time? If they do, it's probably because of what you wrote in the card to personalized it, not because the card was fancy. I've seen greeting cards go for up to $10 in some drug stores which is pretty wild to me. Yes, they are more elaborate, but does it really matter when the cheaper one suffices?
2. Gift bags. Same dealio as above.
3. Wrapping paper in very particular circumstances. They have significantly less wrapping paper in the package than at other stores. But I find sometimes it's a good thing if you only want to wrap a present or two with that style of wrapping paper. If you want to wrap many things or if you want to use more of the same paper in the future, then I'd buy elsewhere to get a larger quantity.
4. Letting kids pick out some cheap crap from the toy aisle.

For basically anything else, it's not worth it imo. But the above have always been where it shines.

The whole Disney World situation hits for me in particular. I was privileged growing up with my family being able to go there (altho I think my parents just had massive credit card debt lol). I know even when I was a kid it was ungodly expensive. But comparing when I was a kid to now in 2025 it is absolutely wild on the things they are nickel and diming people on.

The whole fast pass converting to a paid model after it previously being a perk with a ticket was one of the most slap in the face things I had seen.

Ehh...that doesn't necessarily pan out either. If I have no stimulation at all, my mind can swirl to 10001 different thoughts. What often works for me, personally, is to put on a YouTube video on my phone to help fall asleep. The trick is you want to find a long, relatively boring and not engaging one to sort of lull you to sleep. Make the mistake of putting on something too interesting and you're fucked.

That's me, anyway. I don't always need thought distractions to sleep but often I do.

Yeah, I never get these strange AI results.

Except, the other day I wanted to convert some units and the AI results was having a fucking stroke for some reason. The numbers did not make sense at all. Never seen it do that before, but alas, I did not take a screenshot.

I'm confused at how you think that living with another human being or raising children are sexual acts? Yes, you need to have sex in order to become pregnant, but the act of raising children is a totally nonsexual activity.

I don't have "options" because I can't become attracted to available people around me. That's the problem. I'm not "unhappy with the options". They don't exist.

I'm just confused. If you can't choose to be gay or straight, then how can I choose to increase my attraction to others? I love and care very deeply about a great number of people, but I don't want to make out with them or fuck them.

I get that relationships are not necessarily permanent, but they have a greater chance to last "til death" than friendships. And people don't buy a house or raise children with their friends.

Never taken benzos, but alcohol always upsets my stomach, even if I haven't drank a whole ton. Does this happen with benzos?

Because it's lonely?

No matter who I meet, everyone prioritizes their SO or family over me. But I totally understand why they do so. I'm only a friend and I'm not at offended by this. They SHOULD prioritize these people over me.

But I just wish I also had someone who we would both equally prioritize one another above all else. A friend for life. Not one who will just fade away one day and you never see them again. Someone to spend my time with and to grow old together.

I'm not really sure why so many sexual people assume that asexuals don't need to have human interaction. It means I don't have a sexual need. It doesn't mean that I don't have a social need and a need for connection.

I would like to be different. I would like to be able to connect deeply with others. I would like to be like all of you here. But I can't.

Right. I was using dramatics to make a point. I'm not attracted to "normal" people. I lack the ability. I can't choose it and I understand it's stupid.

Not really. Minimal sexual attraction very occasionally. Which is more than the 0 ever attraction to people I meet irl.

I don't think you guys are understanding. I cannot force myself to be attracted to "personality". It doesn't work that way for me. I absolutely wish I could. I understand that it's "shallow". I understand that looks aren't forever. I understand that celebs only get photos when they look their best. But I still cannot force attraction that isn't there. I have people that I enjoy their company a ton and care for them a lot, but I don't get attracted to them. It's like...you don't get attracted to your mom.

I don't "lust" for anyone... especially not porn stars. I have the opposite problem that you'd think. I have a significantly reduced capacity for attraction compared to other people. I talk about celeb appearances because they are just barely able to register on my radar. Masturbating doesn't even work for me. So no, I don't have a porn addiction. I've only very rarely even looked it up out of curiosity and it didn't do much.

No, I don't think there is a hierarchy anyone has to stay within. I am simply not attracted to 99% of people. The 1% I am are ultra attractive and thus not attractive to me or other "regular" people. I wish I could force myself to be attracted to others but I just can't.

I don't have "internalized body dysphoria for other people". I don't even understand what that's supposed to mean. That's not even a thing.

I have a significantly reduced ability/capacity for attraction. I fall on the asexual spectrum, which is difficult because it means I am not compatible with 99% of "real people". My only hope is finding similar people online, but it has been difficult considering the infantessimally small pool I'm working with.

I think you all are misunderstanding my question. I tried to phrase it in a general way so that it could potentially apply to other people. But you all are misinterpreting what I am saying.

I am absolutely not saying that I'm ugly. I am perfectly average looking to maybe slightly below average looking. I don't generally like to admit any of the following out loud because I don't like to brag. But I am fit, nice, funny, well liked, and have a very good job making good money.

There are plenty of people that look "regular" like me. "Regular" people seem to be very occasionally attracted to me. I am only attracted to ultra attractive people. Ultra attractive people are not the norm and are an outlier. It doesn't matter how much "personality" someone has for me. It doesn't make me attracted to them. I have been on dates with sweet, caring, funny, normal people like me. I don't have the capacity for attraction to them. I understand that it makes me "shallow", but I cannot choose this attraction. Many times I wish I had the capacity to feel attraction to those around me, but I cannot.

I'm good on all these fronts! Except for "social status" because I'm not really sure what that means. I'm generally well-liked though. But yeah I just can't change who I'm attracted to. Some of us are just not as good looking as others even if we are fit and are financially secure lol. The problem is the inability to be attracted to "regular looking" people. It's like if you were only attracted to ultra attracted celeb appearing people.

While this is always good advice, some things just aren't really changeable without cosmetic surgery. I have a good BMI and whatnot, but I'm definitely not a supermodel. But say you're only attracted to supermodels for some stupid reason and you can't fix that.