confusedpuppy @ confusedpuppy @lemmy.dbzer0.com

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Joined

2 yr. ago

Depend on who I am around, I will either over explain things or say the least amount of words possible.

If I'm around people who make assumptions, I will give the shortest answer possible and let them read between the lines. I won't challenge them. If they refuse to listen to me the first time then they don't deserve to know anything about me.

So many guys at my last job thought I was gay. Never challenged them. If they asked me leading questions to try and figure out if I was actually gay, I'd give them a short, ambiguous answer. They couldn't figure me out and that drove them insane. My very nosy sister who does nothing but assume everything about me gets very upset with me because all I say is "I don't know."

If I'm with a close friend, I can talk none stop for 7+ hours, until my voice is raspy and my throat is sore. Even my therapist said I talk a lot in our last session. Although that's not really over explaining things. They tend to be more understanding from the start.

The older I get, the less energy I have towards people who spend all their energy trying to read between the lines.

I have a small partition that has a copy of Linux Mint live USB. I also have another partition that holds my backups. When I inevitably break my system, I launch Mint and use an rsync command I keep in a text file to revert back to the backup I made.

Using Mint's live usb image has multiple benefits. It has Gparted for partition management. It has basic apps like LibreOffice and Mozilla in case I need them. It has proper printer support too. And since it's a live usb image, every time I launch it, the environment will always be the same. No changes are permanent and will disappear after a reset.

My days of using Mint may be over, but it's too reliable to ever truly leave my system.

It's finally nice out. It's been a long, cold, windy and rainy spring. Planted some seed starters for my garden, hopefuly I get to see some sprouts soon.

It was also such a nice day today that I went for a hike. Everything is getting so green now.

I kept saying "cd up" in my mind so I just made an alias for cdu, became a reflex within the next day

I was installing Alpine Linux on a Raspberry Pi 5 and was using the kitchen TV as a temporary monitor. My parents thought I was sending encrypted messages. I was just updating the repository list to find the quickest mirror.

It's funny to me how some people see text scrolling by on a screen and immediately think witchcraft.

This reminds me of when I had apprenticeship classes that got interrupted by the covid lockdowns. I was forced to do theory classes online over zoom. Every morning my wifi connection would drop for a few minutes at a time during my classes.

Turns out it was the microwave. Every time someone used the microwave, it would disrupt the wifi/router for the whole house.

Ended up making a sign to let people know I was in class. My classes were only for 8 weeks total. I had about 4 or 5 weeks remaining by the time I figured it out so it wasn't too long of an inconvenience.

I took the opportunity in around 2016-2017 to live in Germany for a year on a work and travel visa. As the name implies, I was allowed to live and work in Germany as a way to support myself while I stay in Europe. I chose to stay in Berlin.

During the first couple weeks I went out with a couple people I met in my hostel. Went to a club that was this tiny, cramped little hole under a bridge called Golden Gate. First time being at a techno party ever. The vibe was so chill, the music was amazing and it was very obvious the people there were just for the music.

It felt so comfortable. I ended up going to so many different clubs and parties during my time there. Honestly one of the best years of my life and I'm grateful I had the opportunity to go.

I'm pretty autistic and loud noises really shut down the social part of my brain. I usually spend my time dancing and enjoying the music by myself in the crowd.

It must show because so many people come to dance by me, women especially. I never really say a word but the company is nice either way. Multiple times, women who were being bothered by guys would come dance by me so that the annoying guys will go away. Which is fine by me, even without saying a word, I can help people and it still feels good to me. I'm sure they appreciate it too because I assume they are there for the music too.

I tend to stick to smaller warehouse techno parties, they seem to keep out a lot of people who go to clubs to be showy rather than enjoying the music. I find the vibe to be overall more enjoyable.

I'm not too worried for my friend, she goes to parties and metal shows by herself all the time. I know she can handle herself. I think more than anything, she is just happy to have a safe person nearby.

This isn't something unknown to me, I've helped so many other women that have come and gone in my life with creepy or manipulative men. It's really nice when my friends show appreciation for me being there for them. I'd much rather spend my time being with them in the moment though.

Had a really nice weekend. Was going to a techno party with a friend but she also wanted to visit a friend for their birthday. So she invited me along to the birthday party before heading off to the party.

Everyone at the birthday party was super nice. It was very diverse group so I didn't get overwhelmed by my autistic anxiety and was able to mix right in. Played a few games and had a really nice time.

After that we went to the techno party and had a really nice time, mostly anyways. There was a guy that was trying to get with her and not taking the hint that she is gay. Tried getting in between us by thinking I was competition. Physically placing himself between us or blocking her line of sight to me. I made an effort to stay near her and visible to her which she seemed to really appreciate. After she finally shook him off, she gave me a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek in appreciation. I even asked her if she wanted help next time but she seemed fine dealing with him herself. Just seemed happy I was there and able to tell that I saw what was happening and was acknowledging what she usually has to deal with.

Spent the morning and afternoon afterwards at her place chilling, talking and her showing me a bunch of stuff that she enjoyed sharing. We are so opposite of each other but are also so accepting of each other and our own flaws. Such a relaxed and easy going friendship and I'm so happy to have met her.

My stomach and lower back are so sensitive that I instantly suck my stomach in or arch my back.

I try telling people that if they are going to touch me there that they should use more pressure. It's a lot easier for me to handle.

I think I'd die happy if I was being crushes alive by puppies and racoons.

I'm not a fan of labels because I can never keep up with the constant changing of meaning or the new labels that keep appearing.

Instead I focus on peoples actions to figure out how I am to handle them. The most common behaviour I see in people who act more in their own self interest is manipulation. They want to control as much as possible. That includes the situation and the people around them.

The simplest thing to do is observe. Watch what they do. Watch how they interact with people around them. I often ask myself a bunch of questions about that behaviour. Do the words they say match what they do? Where is the attention coming from and where is it going? What tools do they use to bring attention to themselves? Is there a power imbalance between them and someone else? What tools do they use to control that power imbalance? Who is gaining something and who is losing something in those interactions? Why do they care so much about something that seems insignificant?

That's not a complete list or anything. People are creative in good and bad ways so it's more of a developed skill which takes time to grow. You may find other observations or questions to help you filter out manipulative people.

As a quiet person who has spent more time observing than talking, I've always been a target for manipulators. They seem to think my quietness is submission. I've dealt with far too many manipulators so much of what I said comes from those experiences.

I often deal with manipulative people by either acting dumb or figuring out the tools they are using or willing to use on me and deny them the chance to use those tools on me any further.

I saw three garter snakes on my last hike a few days ago. They look so soft but they are content watching me watching them. They are so cute.

It was enough to see that he had nothing worthwhile to listen to because it was all attacks with no support for his position on anything. The same story for American politicians. The same story for workplace politics. The same for everyday conversations. At least from my experiences.

It's hard to take these people seriously because there's only attacks. They hold no conversations, only debates fueled by attacks.

Even today as I hear others talk about him or glimpes headlines and skim articles, it's been the same words coming his mouth. The only difference from a few years ago and now is that there is more American influence in his campaign slogans and buzz words.

Even the brief moments I watched from the debate has been nothing but the same words and attacks as the years before.

He's a manipulator, he does not deserve the attention he demands. It's personally hard for me to watch history repeat itself, over and over again. My safety will greatly affected by people like him in power.

That video was a warning sign of a manipulator. And his actions to this date have been consistent of a manipulator. So yes, that video did greatly influence my view on him.

The first time I saw and heard about this guy, it was from a YouTube video of him cosplaying a lunch date with Justin Trudeau. This was somewhere in 2020 or 2021 after the initial covid lockdowns.

This was a adult. Recording himself on a lunch date with person who wasn't even there. I can draw some pretty crude assumptions from that action alone. But I won't. He's not worth the time or attention.

People like him are all words with no action. They are losers. Losers do not deserve the attention they demand from everyone else. Take away their speaker and microphone and let them die in obscurity.

I once saw someone in the irc channel jokingly refer to Alpine as Alpine linux pine. Now when I goto the website, all my mind reads is Alpine Linux Pine Linux...

My aunt died just over a week ago and processing all the family weirdness has been a trip.

Getting super uncomfortable with the religious views on... Well everything. Even when it came to doing good deeds, it somehow ended up sounding like righteous bragging. All centered around themselves and not about the person who recently died. This big display of how good and helpful they are seems to really take away from the genuinely good deeds they are doing.

Or maybe I'm doing something wrong. Some of the more memorable good deeds I've done usually come with a bit heartbreak. Realizing how fortunate I am does not make me want to brag. Those memories stick for a long time too.

I'm thinking of going to a lot less family functions in the future.

Also, I'm finally at the point with my website where I can go promote it locally, the library said they'd be happy to put my poster up on the community board.

I got a bit delayed because I found out the hard way my backups weren't complete. Fortunely I found this out on my computer and not my server. I also had an external backup so nothing important was lost, except some time. Also reworked all my backup scripts and thoroughly tested them. I feel a lot more confident about them now.

Over the past few years I've come across some survival ebooks. The first bundle was from some random google drive link on reddit and the second bundle I got came from a humble bundle.

You can download them here: https://drive.proton.me/urls/QWA614FTX0#TXeqSBVzjzk5

Not as convenient as a physical book but it's something :)

D:

I got fixed a couple months ago. Best decision ever.

For nearly 40 years, I've been told the horrors of climate change. For nearly 40 years, I've watched climate change unravel. And now at nearly 40 years on this planet, I've reached a point where I am more concerned about immediate human activity affecting my life rather than the breakdown and collapse of our planet's environment.

At no point in my life has there ever been a desire to bring a new life into this horrifying existence.

Now if only those weird and miserable old men would stop calling me selfish for not having children. Their obsession with my genitals makes me uncomfortable.