betterdeadthanreddit @ betterdeadthanreddit @lemmy.world

An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.

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2 yr. ago

I want to get off of Mr. Putin's Wild Ride.

I'm sure they'll help. Don't have to set the thing in motion, just give it a little push now and then to keep the conversation moving in the direction you want it to go.

Don't worry, we're mostly on the same page. I don't know if "glomming on some glizzies" is used to literally mean "eating some hot dogs", just running with it as though "eating some hot dogs" was a common way to talk about sucking dick or something along those lines. Might be, for that matter, I'm not hip to the lingo these days.

You can only spend so many months carrying full buckets of lukewarm cum through Disney's hidden tunnels without thinking that there must be a better way.

Make sure to also drill some holes in the feet unless you want to send somebody out twice a day to drain it when it gets full.

Got it, will just have to reduce my arsenic intake from other sources to balance it out.

Weird, shouldn't they be trying to find the guy from the shooting video instead? Mangione looks nothing like him.

Pentagon spokesman? More like Penta-gone nopes-man.

Somewhere, a Russian with a gulag allergy is crafting a fresh AOC-focused smear campaign for the 2028 third-party distraction effort.

Happy to hear they haven't changed the standard procedure since back in Edmund Blackadder's day.

If I wrote porn scripts, that could definitely be part of the plot. Maybe the performers are hired for some outdoor scenes but end up getting lost in the woods and all their communication gear is either destroyed or out of batteries so they can't call for rescue. These condoms survived the inciting incident with power source and electronics intact because the story demands it. Crucially, they include low-speed mobile data networking capabilities (a key selling point and the reason for the trip away from civilization the first place) so you aren't configuring a WiFi adapter on your antenna while trying to use the physical link layer.

Long story short, they have to encode a message in the data being sent out by varying the speed or other characteristics of the unit being monitored by the unit. Maybe they've only got one so it's high-stakes, maybe they've got a whole shipping container full of them so there's a chance for a whole series. First rescue attempt, for example, might go awry when a passing vessel receives and decodes the message but runs aground when they arrive. How will they ever pass the time while waiting for someone to rescue the rescuers?

No, they can't just hook the batteries together and rig up a charger for their other gear. Yeah, I should probably stick to my day job.

You've got my attention if it's still in the bottles or cans but my respect if they're the big Fosters ones. Best thing is you don't have to worry about ruining the taste of the beer in that case.

All thanks to the dedicated work of the folks in the Office of Obvious Preventable Situations (OOPS for short or OoOPS on their official letterhead).

...every single church...

May as well keep it simple for them. No tax breaks for bigot book clubs.

Nobody shatter OP's innocence with what "eating some hot dogs" means, please.

If only there had been some way to prevent this but honestly, who hasn't accidentally misplaced a living human being in an El Salvador torture prison once or twice? Glass houses, stones, all that.

Best? Trump does that thing that certain people have done in bunkers when they recognize how badly they fucked up. You know, a painting or something.

Worst? Just about anything else.

Are you sure he's not a real lawyer too? I think I saw him in court a few years back.

Pineapple? That's a little too spicy for Mormons. Probably mashed potatoes and mayo.

This couldn't possibly backfire!

-Some idiot, probably.