Have you used other forum software? Which ones did you like?
In 1981, I won a goldfish at the fair. My parents were annoyed about having to buy a bowl for it. It died within days (no living creature should be kept in a half gallon bowl), but I pestered my mom into buying a ten gallon tank for the replacement. This was the beginning of a lifelong hobby- I now have nine aquariums in my living room, and in the past forty-some years have spent many thousands on tanks, fish, plants, fish food, and so on. My most expensive tank cost me €5000 to set up.
And all this began because I spent a quarter and managed to get a ping-pong ball into a cup.
My own parents were of the "you're an adult, look after yourself" generation, and my parenting style was the opposite of what they did. My kids were told they'd always have a home with me, and I meant it. I didn't foresee that they'd still be at home at 28 and 21 years of age with no chance of them moving out anytime...well, it's starting to feel like they might be here for good. It feels like there can be no end to it, we live in a rural area and that means no jobs as well as no houses.
I won't lie, I was looking forward to my kids being grown and gone (with loads of visits of course). I'm struggling a lot lately. I never have any privacy in my own house, I'm having to lay down the law about things like voice chatting in the living room. My kids ought to have more privacy too, I sympathise with their side of it too. My 21 year old is in a bloody box room, god knows it's not easy for any of us.
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I joined Beehaw because I was hoping for more of exactly what you posted here. Thank you. You're also a bright, shining light and I am grateful that you're here.
Not horrible, in general. The saga of the CPAP continues. Some nights I sleep well, some nights I don't. I suppose I'm sort of getting used to it? Last night was not good so that's colouring everything.
I saw a doctor who agreed to start me on post-menopausal HRT, as I have a family history of severe osteoporosis. I can think of about fifty other reasons I want to be on HRT, so I'm delighted.
My adult son and I made up from the huge fight we had last week, and I was able to come out of my room. The gist of the fight is that I need my adult kids to adult more than they do. I'm tired of managing the household. I know that in our location neither kid has the option of moving out (there's a severe housing crisis and even if you find a place, rents are crazy expensive). I can live with that, but I can't live with them doing nothing and leaving all the household chores to me like I'm the maid.
This is amazing. I would like to see more user-generated content and discussion in this community, so yes, it's very welcome indeed, though I'm so sorry that your poem rings true for me and probably for most women.
I'm really pleased to see people thinking about ableism and ableist language. It's so easy to just say what you've always said without thought and I appreciate anyone who stops to think about it.
"Duh" is the word I'm personally trying to remove from my vocabulary. As I have ADHD and am forever losing or misplacing things, it pops out of my mouth automatically far too often. I only began thinking about it recently, and as I have a couple of neurology-based disabilities it really is not ideal for me to say something that's insulting to people who are like me- by saying it, I'm putting myself down (internalised ableism) too!
"Lame" is tough because it replaces a whole lot of words. I do understand how difficult it is to replace it. I liked the suggestion of "bogus" (but didn't want to hijack that person's comment).
I'm staying right where I am. I live in a country (non-US, not really wanting to be more specific) where there is a clear geographical divide between the two sides, and I'm deep into the territory of the side I prefer and think would win easily.
Also, I have anarchist friends, and that's who I'd personally be turning to if I needed help or was able to be helpful to others.
So someone stole some stolen items.
Don't get me wrong, of course it's important that items are kept safely and nobody gets to walk off with shiny things. But it's a bit hypocritical, because the British Museum is full of things stolen from all over the world, they even have a page about it.
Yeah, that would be part 2. Part one is not generally played on radio- they would have had to start out with fans of the band or at least fans of that album, which is why I wonder "why that song?"
Of all the Pink Floyd songs they could have chosen, why on earth "Another Brick in the Wall Pt. 1"? Still, this is awesome.
I knew something was very different about me from childhood, but I didn't have a name for it for the first half of my life. Then my children were both diagnosed with autism and ADHD as children because it was obvious and unmistakable. Three of my niblings also were diagnosed with ASD. Then my brother got an adult ASD diagnosis, apparently during his assessment for Disability. However, the only person qualified to assess an adult where I'm living now required cash in hand, and it was fifteen years between beginning to think "maybe I'm neurodivergent too" to my own ASD/ADHD diagnosis at age 46.
Still trying to come to terms with my new CPAP. I worked out a few bugs only to develop new ones. According to my smartwatch I'm still not staying in deep sleep for more than a minute or two at a time, and I'm absolutely exhausted. I'm hoping that it's just that the CPAP works as intended but I'm not used to it yet, because I'm not going to get any help from the ResMed drone who gave it to me. I'm relying on YouTube for advice, which has been both helpful and worrying- my device is apparently an APAP and many of the YouTube experts hate them and even call them dangerous.
I also got a stomach virus late last week, which I'm still getting over, which isn't conducive to good sleep. I had a massive fight with my adult son the day before I got sick, and then spent the weekend melting down from the sheer overwhelm of the exhaustion, illness, and emotional crap. I've been locked in my room since last Thursday and I'm not sure when it'll be safe to emerge.
Thanks for that. Sadly, I'm far more likely to get useful information from the Internet than I am from my medical team. I actually turned to YouTube to "fill in" details the technician didn't bother to tell me- namely that "mask leak" with a nasal pillow can be caused by opening your mouth. I also was able to work out, thanks to videos, that the nasal pillow I was told to use was a terrible fit for me, which is why I felt like I was suffocating and unable to breathe the first night, but the correct size was thankfully in the box. It's been much smoother sailing since I swapped to the correct size pillow.
This is a great question. My own motto (stolen from Wil Wheaton of course) is "Don't be a dick", so whenever I learn that my words are offensive, I start using better words.
But, I am no angel. I just learned yesterday that I've been saying something constantly for my whole life that is offensive to the disabled- it's simply the word "Duh". It comes out super automatically anytime I do something dumb. I don't mean it to be unkind to anyone with a disability- I am autistic myself- but I'm going to have to work really hard to stop using that one.
Thank you. Thank you. It really means more than you can imagine, I saw the little notification bell and thought for certain it was someone else disagreeing with me. I'm queer myself and very much an ally to everyone whose queerness is different to my own, and it hurt so much to learn that my diagnosis, to some, makes me less tolerable than a member of a hate group.
Unfortunately, when local professionals told me that autism is a disorder of childhood in which they are not trained, and therefore they will not see me, they are being very serious, not joking even in a dark and twisted way. My country has a kind of national health service and I happen to live in an area where there are no services of any kind for autistic adults. Once I am told "no, you can't have an appointment, I don't see autistic adults", there is nowhere else to go.
Please understand that writing about my experience of autism in a Beehaw comment will necessarily give an extremely simplified and limited view of what my life is like. I've had similar discussions in the past where the other person either decided I was seeking advice or found a way to twist my experience to fit their beliefs, and I'm honestly not here for either- if I stop responding after this comment, that would probably be why. I also can only give a few examples without also writing a book.
I am hypersensitive to all kinds of things that non-disabled people can easily ignore. I cannot go anywhere where there might be harsh florescent lighting, sudden noises, flashing lights, loud music, or strong, invasive smells like perfume, because these things cause me literal pain. This means I can't go shopping in a mall or pretty much anywhere else. I can't go to any large gathering of people. In fact, I can rarely go outside at all, because you never know when you're going to be confronted with someone who thinks the whole neighbourhood wants to hear their music. I suffer from severe emotional dysregulation that makes my life a living hell- I am 51 and I have regular meltdowns and attacks of rage. My behaviour is not "normal" for a woman of my age, and it causes me great distress and prevents me from living the life I want to live.
That is not to say that I would want to cure my autism. The fact is, I am attempting to get treatment for my sensory processing disorder but am fighting ableist anti-autistic attitudes from local health care professionals. I believe there needs to be some sort of place in the NT world for those of us who are totally overwhelmed by the NT world but also would like to not always be left out of everything.
If your argument is "you can't be ableist against an autistic person because autism is not a disability", we will have to agree to disagree, because my lived experience is that autism (for me) is disabling and ableism against the autistic is both real and disabling.
I also feel that reducing it to a simple language issue is negating that there are autistic folks (like me) who are disabled by aspects of their autism that are not related to failure to communicate with NDs. It's good that your lived experience has been that autism is not disabling for you. My experience is different, and my experience still counts.
Gluten is a protein found in many grains, especially wheat. It is not in rice or potatoes.
I have been online since the early '90s, and used to be extremely active on many different forums. I even ran a fairly large forum on my own website, using Simple Machines Forums- which, to my surprise, still exists- from 2005-2008 or so.
I can't say I have a favourite- I really liked SMF back in the day but I have no idea what it looks like now. I really can say that I really miss the pre-Facebook Internet when there were loads of extremely active forums in every imaginable topic, and people found them and used them instead of just creating a Facebook group and pretending that everyone will just use that by default (I refuse to use Facebook for anything).
I don't think of Reddit and Lemmy as forums, really, not in the old-school sense. Reddit was a poor substitute, as for many years more weight was put on links than on self-posts, and in the old-school forums I'm thinking of, things like upvotes and "likes" didn't become a thing until they were used on Reddit and Facebook, and I honestly don't think having those features makes the Internet better.